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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To despair of children’s Christmas presents

351 replies

Yura · 06/01/2018 21:03

I just packed a huge charity bag with unusable Christmas presents - why oh why do people not ask? And why do they not listen to the answers?
Loads of Lego - child likes the bricks, but not cars. It’s all cars (5 boxes)
Clothes with polyester - both kids have eczema that is triggered by polyester. Everybody around us know that as it took us ages to get wearable school uniform for the oldest. A bag full going to the charity shop with labels attached.
Warm winter clothes 9-12 months size up for the baby. He is in 3-6 months now, they would fit in summer (Polyester anyway, so can’t use them)
2 part pyjamas for the baby? Polyester anyway so he can’t wear them, but 2 parters for a 7 month old?
A book on “ scary dinosaurs” for a very sensitive 6 year old suffering from nightmares (we’ll keep that actually, maybe the baby will like it when he’s older)
I’m thankful that people give us presents, but we end up giving 90% unopened/labels attached to the charity shop, it’s such a waste.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 07/01/2018 10:38

mOtherofdragons
My dd (9) has never liked lego. I know she’s in the minority.

Mummyoflittledragon · 07/01/2018 10:39

Marvel
Agreed op could sell all this stuff and buy a box of lego.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 07/01/2018 10:40

It’s a shame he doesn’t like the Lego sets, I do 😁

I don’t see why you wouldn’t keep them for the baby. The sets are tiny and easy to store and your youngest might love them. As for the book, he’ll grow into it, no need to give it away.

It’s a shame you can’t be bothered exchanging the clothes, half an hours drive isn’t much and surely you can combine the trip with doing something else?

If the gift givers are grandparents/Aunts/Uncles just reiterate through the year that due to their skin problems the kids can only wear cotton (it’s better to say what the CAN wear, than what they can’t) and whitter on about what DS IS interested in. If they’re not such close family/friends just arrange not to swap gifts, it’s much easier. If relatives really don’t get it, maybe keep mentioning a place DC would really like to go to and they might get the hint.

XiCi · 07/01/2018 10:41

30 mins to M&S is no time at all so still cannot understand why you are not exchanging all of these clothes. Smyths would also let you exchange the lego. Take the kids and let them choose what they want, that way they will still have received a present from the well meaning friends and relatives albeit a different one than they chose. That is just laziness on your part and a shame for both your kids and the gift giver

Cornishclio · 07/01/2018 10:44

Why don't you do an amazon wish list with the things they would find useful? Tactfully steer people towards it in October. We do that as I hate waste. I also don't buy stuff for our granddaughter without checking with my daughter first. Worst thing is people buying huge presents which you then have to store. We have cut gifting right back though to cut costs for our daughters and effort for my mum who is getting on a bit.

loobylou10 · 07/01/2018 10:45

Goodness you sound like hard work

Subtleconstraints · 07/01/2018 10:50

Yeah, agree it's not nice that people are piling on the op including myself (my previous comment was a bit snide). I do understand the overall point about waste and commercialisation and agree. I think what most people are saying is though, try and think about the thought and intention behind the present, rather than the present itself.

Cornishclio · 07/01/2018 10:51

Actually my granddaughter aged almost 3 would love one of those lego car sets but possibly a bit young for a 6 year old. Maybe the gifters don't see your DS that often and realise that it may not be his type of gift?

Subtleconstraints · 07/01/2018 10:51

And think a pp's poster's idea about keeping the cars to give as party presents is genius!

SilverGiraffe7 · 07/01/2018 10:51

I'm not sure why you don't just approach the gift giver and say 'Thank you so much for the pjs/clothes/whatever - he really loves paw patrol. Unfortunately, the polyester triggers his eczema. Would you mind if I exchanged them for something without polyester?' Totally polite, no one is likely to take offence and they'll know for next time.

feebeemee · 07/01/2018 10:52

YABU and you also sound very ungrateful

InspMorse · 07/01/2018 10:54

You need to step back and listen to yourself OP.
You sound dreadful.
Give the toys away to someone who will appreciate them and the clothes to someone who can wear them - and stop your moaning.
Write your exacting gift preferences down and post them off with yourChristmas cards.
Oh, and be prepared to be told to fuck off.

Lilliepixie · 07/01/2018 10:55

It's 4-7, not age 4

GreyMorning · 07/01/2018 11:03

Box's lego could go back to any retailer that sells them and swapped for lego he wants.

No it can't, their stock levels would be wrong and it would be fraudulent.

XiCi · 07/01/2018 11:03

It was a 30 min drive to my nearest Disney store this week to exchange an outfit that was too small for dd. They put the amount on a gift card and dd was over the moon having £30 to choose something she wanted. It would have been such a shame for my brother if his £30 present had just been chucked in a charity bag.

m0therofdragons · 07/01/2018 11:04

@Mummyoflittledragon I don't doubt the op's dc doesn't like Lego, what I doubt is all his friends also not liking it making it inappropriate to regift it. I find that weird but then I buy gifts for dc's friends as I work in town and get things in my lunch break. Dc occasionally give me an idea for very close friends.

I never got into it as a child but now my 3 dc have it and I love it. We've literally spent 3 days building Christmas Lego and now I'm having a cup of tea while they play with it together.

CaraBosse1 · 07/01/2018 11:04

Oh the irony of @Penggwyn suggesting teaching someone to be less scathing Wink

Bumsnetnetbums · 07/01/2018 11:07

Actually I think Penngwyn has said it perfectly. Not scathing at all but very wise. This spoilt attitude will at some point backfire.

InspMorse · 07/01/2018 11:07

Most 6 year olds find toys adressed to 4 year old stupid i'm afraid

The lego you have linked to is aged 4-7.
A 4 year old would be able to play with it with maybe a little help, a 7 year old would play with it independently.

Your 6 year old is the perfect age.

YOU don't like the theme (cars) do you OP? It's amazing how our own tastes rub off on our DC... Hmm

happiestcamper · 07/01/2018 11:09

OP my 6 yr old wasn't in to cars either but now he is 8 he loves cars and loves Lego and would be over the moon. Buy a storage box and keep them, who knows what he will like in a few years time unless you are going to carry on telling him he doesn't like cars

Lilliepixie · 07/01/2018 11:09

Fraudulent?????
I've exchanged plenty of Lego
They'll exchange it if they sell it

InspMorse · 07/01/2018 11:11

'Box's lego could go back to any retailer that sells them and swapped for lego he wants'-No it can't, their stock levels would be wrong and it would be fraudulent.

Not good practice but it would have no effect on stock levels (unless everyone who had ever bought the box also returned it.)

Pengggwn · 07/01/2018 11:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bumsnetnetbums · 07/01/2018 11:13

So long as boxed and resaleable most stores happen to take toys back.

Bumbumtaloo · 07/01/2018 11:23

To be fair OP, you say you hate waste but it could be avoided by a simple conversation. I would be more pissed off that my gift, that I had spent time and money on, was put in the charity bag when, after a simple conversation, it could have been exchanged.

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