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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To despair of children’s Christmas presents

351 replies

Yura · 06/01/2018 21:03

I just packed a huge charity bag with unusable Christmas presents - why oh why do people not ask? And why do they not listen to the answers?
Loads of Lego - child likes the bricks, but not cars. It’s all cars (5 boxes)
Clothes with polyester - both kids have eczema that is triggered by polyester. Everybody around us know that as it took us ages to get wearable school uniform for the oldest. A bag full going to the charity shop with labels attached.
Warm winter clothes 9-12 months size up for the baby. He is in 3-6 months now, they would fit in summer (Polyester anyway, so can’t use them)
2 part pyjamas for the baby? Polyester anyway so he can’t wear them, but 2 parters for a 7 month old?
A book on “ scary dinosaurs” for a very sensitive 6 year old suffering from nightmares (we’ll keep that actually, maybe the baby will like it when he’s older)
I’m thankful that people give us presents, but we end up giving 90% unopened/labels attached to the charity shop, it’s such a waste.

OP posts:
NotPayingAttention · 06/01/2018 23:06

Yeah so do you Grin

londonista · 06/01/2018 23:13

What ilovetolurk said.

We all get shit. We smile and say thanks. We regift it, or donate it, and move on.

Why? Because doing anything else makes you sound ungrateful when you're probably not.

AnnaMagnani · 06/01/2018 23:22

Mimsy the Juniors cars aren't made of interchangeable bricks. On the website they look like all in one jobs and OP says they are.

Clearly not all Lego is created equal.

Ellie56 · 06/01/2018 23:26

I would take stuff back to shops with labels, explain about the allergy and ask to swap for something else.

Take the lego back to Toys R Us or similar and ask to swap them. I've found most shops will exchange even without receipts. Then at least your DS will have something.

NoWordForFluffy · 06/01/2018 23:41

We've got some of the Cars Lego. You build the cars from scratch in all 3 or 4 of the sets we have. I'm sure they'll get integrated into the other Lego we have at some point though.

Argeles · 06/01/2018 23:43

I can’t stand this either op.

My Daughter has received a few presents that are suitable for her and the tiny space available in our flat, but these are floating around in an ocean of tat.

Two of the main present buyers for my DD are hoarders, and they seem to think I want my flat to resemble their houses. They have zero control when it comes to present buying, and favour quantity over quality. Thanks to them, my DD now has (amongst many other things), 2 dolls pushchairs and 1 pram, another blanket when she has too many already, 4 pairs of gloves and 2 scarves. She also has so many poor quality and easily breakable toys, just so that they can buy her piles of presents.

They were the same with me when I was a child, and even now as an adult they buy me far too much. In the past 2 years, they have bought me 11 handbags, 5 vases, 14 scarves, and countless items of costume jewellery - amongst many other gifts. They’ll buy me 2 or 3 things I’ll really like and/or need, then the rest will just be very bad quality and unsuitable.

TricksyLiesmith · 06/01/2018 23:50

Wow grateful or what .

LEGO - the whole purpose of lego is to mix and match . Break to up and put it on a box to be explored .

Differentcorner · 06/01/2018 23:59

Confused you do sound very ungrateful... i quite shocked by your attitude

Frillyhorseyknickers · 07/01/2018 00:06

It’s not a waste at all - arseholes like you keep charities in business - thank fuck you have such generous, patient friends and family Biscuit

rainbowduck · 07/01/2018 00:10

I understand. I was brought up to believe that it is rude to ask for specific items, we are told to be grateful for what we receive but I can't help feeling that it's all such a waste. A waste of money. A waste of purchase power. Its more stuff that we just don't want. I really worry about the environmental impact.

The world is being killed by consumer driven kindness. Which is dictated by society.

It's hard to break the circle without hurting people's feelings. (Gift receipts are a good option!)

But equally, other people are not mind readers and it's hard for them to know what to do. They just see something in the shop that they think you would like, and buy it. No malice.

Weedsnseeds1 · 07/01/2018 00:33

I'd been wondering why I never get a word of thanks from either the children or the parents for the gifts I buy. Now I know.

WitchesHatRim · 07/01/2018 00:42

And your comment that son won't regift "stupid" presents is cringeworthy. You're passing on your awful attitude!!

I agree.

That's some attitude from a 6 year old.

WitchesHatRim · 07/01/2018 00:44

Unless the gift is from Maiden Aunt Maude

Offensive much Hmm

mathanxiety · 07/01/2018 00:53

They are not, Mimsy (and those who have not looked at a car kit in Junior Lego). The Junior kits are very self contained.

Only1scoop Sat 06-Jan-18 22:35:25
If your child has a group of friends and they play together outside of school hours, then of course you would know what they like playing with.

mathanxiety · 07/01/2018 00:55

Skittlesandbeer - excellent post.

Original poster
Yura · 07/01/2018 06:43

Last comment from
me: all lego is from the pixar car range, aimed at 4 year olds and very, very easy with few bricks. we don't have any other lego, so integrating doesn't happen (we have a load of meccano which he loves). he plays with lego bricks at friends though.

We gave him spinning tops with paper tops so you can create patterns, a towel with his favorite character and modelling clay.
Of course he gets input to presents for his friends - we have a budget and select accordingly (including things he doesn't like himself). but not pixar lego cars for 6 year olds that don't like racing cars !
We don't live in a city, the next m&s takes me 30 min to get to, ...
Hi eczema is severe, we've tried polyester on and off, it ends up with him turning lobster red, scratching and bleeding.i really would prefer buying £4 schooltrousers rather than £10 (and add several layers of knee patches over the school year)

OP posts:
barnetbarnet · 07/01/2018 06:58

A scary dinosaur book for a sensitive 6 year old.......

Do me a favour and let the kid read the book.

Original poster
Yura · 07/01/2018 07:13

one more comment: he read the book. its all about powerful sharp teeth, what they can rip appart and how strong and big they are. That they could rip shreds out of other animals. he didn't like it becaus he thinks its scary.

OP posts:
MrsDilber · 07/01/2018 07:23

Why are you complaining about a dinosaur book? It's too scary you say. You do sound ungrateful. I have 14 under 10's to buy for, I buy what I think they'll love, but I'm not going round asking for a list. It's a gift, like it or lump it to the charity shop, there are people who can't afford much and will be grateful.

InAPickleToday · 07/01/2018 07:34

YABU and sound like a right dick. What does your 6yo say about you giving HIS Christmas presents away? You should at least replace the toys or sell them and he can choose something to buy with the money. As for the clothes is it so hard to ask the buyer to return exchange it? Most people I know keep receipts or give them to the receiver incase something doesn't fit etc.

Pengggwn · 07/01/2018 07:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DonutCone · 07/01/2018 07:40

At least the OP is donating them. Someone else, on a lower budget, will probably get something they couldn't afford now. Better that than all those Facebook groups where people are desperately trying to sell everything, down to the stocking fillers from Poundland for 70p.

CaraBosse1 · 07/01/2018 07:51

It's the waste that gets to me. If someone spends £10 on an unsuitable gift and the charity shop flogs it for £4 then that's £6 down the drain. Or if the charity shop can't sell the toy or clothes then they're put in the rubbish collection.

If you return a labelled item of clothing after Xmas then you're likely to get a gift card for fir the reduced amount it's now selling for in the sale. More money down the drain.

Original poster
Yura · 07/01/2018 07:56

@carrabosse1 that's it exactly. especially since the givers are not that well off (neither are we), and he could gave been made happy for loads less (craft section of poundland is great for him!).
He doesn't like cars - build one or two, hasn't looked at them or thd unopened boxes since christmas day. played hours with the crayons, notebooks etc he got.

OP posts:
jarhead123 · 07/01/2018 07:56

You do sound a bit ungrateful. And I'm sure half of it you could keep/regift if you wanted to rather than being dramatic and taking a load to charity