To despair of children’s Christmas presents

[Yura]

I just packed a huge charity bag with unusable Christmas presents - why oh why do people not ask? And why do they not listen to the answers?
Loads of Lego - child likes the bricks, but not cars. It’s all cars (5 boxes)
Clothes with polyester - both kids have eczema that is triggered by polyester. Everybody around us know that as it took us ages to get wearable school uniform for the oldest. A bag full going to the charity shop with labels attached.
Warm winter clothes 9-12 months size up for the baby. He is in 3-6 months now, they would fit in summer (Polyester anyway, so can’t use them)
2 part pyjamas for the baby? Polyester anyway so he can’t wear them, but 2 parters for a 7 month old?
A book on “ scary dinosaurs” for a very sensitive 6 year old suffering from nightmares (we’ll keep that actually, maybe the baby will like it when he’s older)
I’m thankful that people give us presents, but we end up giving 90% unopened/labels attached to the charity shop, it’s such a waste.

Say to relatives thank you for the clothes /pj’s but ds can’t wear them due to allergies. Ask for receipt

Or just exchange them at m&s etc

Not even going to go there with the Lego 😂

Oh I know, I couldn't be bothered to go back. And the OPs disappeared, so no clarification from her.

One day you’ll recognise not everyone is as invested in your DC as you are. When shopping for gifts - already a difficult chore - how can they possibly keep track of the fact that DC1 doesn’t like cars but likes crayons, but hang on, normal Lego is OK, and with clothes, he can’t wear ANYTHING polyester, and and toys made for under 6 he’ll think are stupid, and be careful with books that could have scary themes. Actually don’t buy books. DC2, now, again, don’t buy polyester, and none of those two-piece PJ sets, they are awful. Don’t buy toys as she won’t play with them anyway.

See how difficult that is? Be grateful that they are buying anything at all. A gift is just that - a gift.

I can't believe you gave all that stuff away. You could have returned it to the store and asked for gift certificates unless the brands were unacceptable to you and your dc which I suspect is the case

re gifting is out as son wouldn't want to give something as a present that he thinks is stupid...

Such strong opinions for someone under 6 months. I'm impressed.

I would definitely assume crayons as something too young for a 6 year old. So wouldn't even consider buying them!

Keep and regift? Buy the kids what you/they want with the money you would have spent?

@Yura just came on to say have you ever tried these for your son to sleep in at night? They were brilliant for my dc.

www.bamboobubby.com.au/bamboo-buddy-soothe-pajama-sets-for-kids-comfy-bamboo-pajamas-soothe-eczema/

My DS1 won a (scary) dinosaur fact book at school at the age of 6. He is also a very sensitive child but thorougly enjoyed it.

Someome on a previous page (sorry too far back to scroll) linked to a Lego car toy. Same DS, now 8, got the Bugatti for his birthday and it took us an hour to build as it contained so many bricks. Once he is bored of the car the pieces will easily mix with the his classic bricks so not a waste at all.

My DS2 was gifted a pair of checked red pyjamas aged 6-9 months. It changed my rigid views tbh as he looked so utterly adorable I went out and bought some more!

You sound really ungrateful and your attitude is rubbing off on your child. I’d be embarrassed if one of my children called a gift that someone had bought them “stupid” or “rubbish”.

For what it’s worth, one of my sons was given that Lego set this Christmas. He loved it and has spent ages rebuilding it and turning the bricks into new creations. Lego is Lego. The only limit with it is your imagination (or lack of...)

We got some awful fleece onesies. Our kids only wear cotton PJs- even the younger one refuses babygros and we live in a warm area so they would just bake. We also got lots of chocolate which DH had to eat (dairy issues) and lots of really awful books when our house is already way too full of books.

What a treat you sound

If our children receive something they have or aren't wildly interested in it gets put away to regift or to give to charity which is hardly a "waste" - there is a child with less who gets something nice they might not otherwise be able to afford.

I have two boys and have been to a zillion little boy birthday parties and I've never seen a sad disappointed face at some LEGO and dinosaur stuff from that age of child yet. Kids are just usually happy to get gifts and gravitate to something in the bunch and carry on.

Fussiness is not a nice quality.

Not sure why the Lego wasn’t kept for the baby, and why the older winter clothes weren’t kept. 9-12 months is a range - baby could have fit into it in autumn / winter.

I agree with pp who think OP is ungrateful.

I think OP said that there wasn’t space to keep the Lego until the baby was old enough for it.

Wow. I bet opening presents is fun in your house.
Everyone reads packets and discards anything out of age range.
I brought my 6 month old some food yesterday that says from 9 months, should I take it back?! She got toys for Christmas that day from 12 months.
I’ve never met a child that pays that much attention to age labels on a box, he’s learnt that from somewhere. Maybe teach him to be grateful for presents. My 11 year old got something she will never use for Christmas, she thanked the person who gave it to her, later when we were alone she said she was going to give it to her cousin who she knows will like it. I’m feeling quite proud of her attitude after reading this!

one more update:
we live in a village. there are 12 kids in my older son's age group, 7 girls and 4 boys. I'm confident none of them are into racing cars, otherwise we would have given them the cars! The birthday etiquette around here is to ask what children are into before getting a present (answers will be the likes of shopkins, crafts, puzzles, animals, pirates, football)
To get to the next m&s, toys r us etc means 15 min on bus (£4, 6 busses a day) and 10 min on train (£4.50) with baby and 6 year old. Everything is massively reduced after christmas, so we'll get a fraction of the original price and i would waste most of a day with the kids (back to work full time). the charity shop collects and we get to do something fun during the weekend. Easy decision.
we send thank you cards to everybody giving us a gift. We appreciate the thought, but i'm not happy with the waste!
i can't seem to attach photos of the book cover. Looks as if it is from the 80s (or its made to look like that), graphic novel style and seems to be an american series from the spelling. can't find a publisher. i guess it was bought abroad and originally part of a box set or similar. I don't usually vet my children's presents, but i will have to start, this one is quite adult (it says young readers age 10 upwards, but it is very graphic). we live in a village, my 6 year old is perfectly aware where meat comes from. I hadn't realised this when starting the thread (the cover doesn't look that bad)

God you sound spoilt. We get it, your son doesn't like Lego cars - yet! I've lost count of the toys that have languished at the bottom of the toy basket for months only to become their favourite all of sudden typically when I'm having a clear out

Kids taste change, he may well love them some day but even if he doesn't why be so mean about it. You despair? Bit drastic - Lego is normally a solid choice for a child.

The clothes, mildly irritating but not done in malice. I feel sorry for the people parting with hard earned cash for you to be so petulant over it

Op why don't you tell these people to stop giving presents then your joyless life will be complete.

To be honest you don't deserve them anyway and are being very unreasonable

I'm glad I don't live in your village OP! The kids don't have the option to get into any new type of toy since the adults decide for themselves what is suitable... :/ I'm seriously saddened to hear that there are 12 6yrs old who definitely are not and will never be into cars... And I'm glad my daughter isn't like that and plays with anything and everything...things she may not be 'into' can end up being her favourite thing for a few months!! She's a kid!!

one more update:
we live in a village.'

Sorry that made me laugh

'just one more thing: the lego is all from thid range: '

'Last comment from
me: all lego is from the pixar car range, aimed at 4 year olds and very, very easy with few bricks.'

Oh go wan go wan go wan Op....

Just one more tit bit of info regarding the entire population of young male villagers NOT into Lego racing cars.

Save it for the girls my dd is 7 and loves racing cars Lego or orherwise

You keep saying you hate waste yet you ...

Refuse to open your mind to see that DS might enjoy the lego if given the chance.

Refuse to acknowledge that the lego could be regifted (and it easily could, your protestations are ridiculous)

Refuse to undertake a not particularly onerous journey to exchange the gifts.

So everyone else is expected to run round after you, getting to grips with all your preferences and specifications, while you couldn't be arsed making a short journey to a shop to exchange something - or opening your mind a tiny chink.

The only thing you're prepared to do is call a charity shop to pick up. I suppose we should all be grateful they do that otherwise I guess you'd have dumped them in the bin, going by your general attitude.

YABU, I understand about the polyester but complaining that a PJ set is 2 piece and not one and complaining about lego cars makes you sound ungrateful.

OP, I don’t know about your village, but all the etiquette I’ve ever known suggests that you receive presents graciously, deal with however you think best and don’t whine about them in public.

Here’s a , maybe your very spoiled child would prefer that.