To despair of children’s Christmas presents

[Yura]

I just packed a huge charity bag with unusable Christmas presents - why oh why do people not ask? And why do they not listen to the answers?
Loads of Lego - child likes the bricks, but not cars. It’s all cars (5 boxes)
Clothes with polyester - both kids have eczema that is triggered by polyester. Everybody around us know that as it took us ages to get wearable school uniform for the oldest. A bag full going to the charity shop with labels attached.
Warm winter clothes 9-12 months size up for the baby. He is in 3-6 months now, they would fit in summer (Polyester anyway, so can’t use them)
2 part pyjamas for the baby? Polyester anyway so he can’t wear them, but 2 parters for a 7 month old?
A book on “ scary dinosaurs” for a very sensitive 6 year old suffering from nightmares (we’ll keep that actually, maybe the baby will like it when he’s older)
I’m thankful that people give us presents, but we end up giving 90% unopened/labels attached to the charity shop, it’s such a waste.

Open your mind woman!
I'm going to ask again, what presents did you get for everyone?

I'll admit to not reading the whole thread, but your post has been irritated me. You sound completely ungrateful.

Do you have any idea how grateful you should be that your children have enough people in their lives that love them and want to buy presents for them???

My DS's presents came from me and 4 others (3 family members and I friend), and that's it.

You’ve performed a survey of all young male villagers aged 6-7 and determined they don’t like Lego cars?

You sound ungrateful and rude. People are just trying to be generous and rude. It’s not their fault your children are scared of / allergic to lots of things that aren’t common!

Be glad they have people in their life that care for them enough to buy them gifts.

My children get gifts from myself and 'santa'. Not a single other person bothers their arse to give my children a second thought. I'm actually at how ungracious you are

I've not read all the comments but going off the original post you do sound pretty ungrateful. Werent you ever taught to be grateful for any gifts you receive, even if you aren't keen or it isn't right? I was taught this from a very early age.

We received a few presents for our children this Christmas that were either a duplicate, winter items that will fit in summer or just something I'd never dress my children in. We kept the duplicate items and just sent one to my mums to play with there or gave the duplicate to the other child. The clothes we didn't want to offend the people who made the effort to buy the items, so we went into the shop, explained and we exchanged them. Very easy to do, no one was upset or offended and their money didn't go to waste. I did feel bad about the clothing as I exchanged some of them as I just didn't like them, my husband had to convince me I wasn't terrible for doing it!

My kids are very lucky they had so many gifts, the people around us are very kind and generous. It'd never cross my mind to moan in such a way when people have gone to so much effort.

I don’t think giving to charity is a waste

Next time, explain, and do a very reasonable Amazon gift list to e mail to family or friends that want it. YANBU I have eczema, thought it is mild now that I am older, but as a child, it was severe. The Dr told my mum, that only natural fibre clothes will do. In the 70's 80's it most was polyester. It can blooming irritate I tell you. If people are spending their money, I am sure they would rather get what you need, not spend money on unsuitable gifts.

Several pointers:
We have a lot of Lego and never have I come across a set that can’t be utilised for other things. Cars become ice cream trucks / wagons / go karts / sledges etc and the Lego people are useful for all creative play

Secondly I follow quite a few minimalist groups and I’m afraid this level of ungratefulness comes out quite a bit in them. If you’re not keen on presents then that’s fine but a) don’t post publicly about them b) don’t project your sense of ungratefulness onto your child and c) ask for no presents next year.

I never post on here, I lurk but can’t never usually be arsed logging in. Your post however made me really sad and pissed off in equal measures. Urgh.

I think giving xmas presents to both adults and children has become a meaningless ritual born out of a sense of obligation. ... it’s very sad and a total waste of resources as well as money.

Hear, hear! Who's up for a complete boycott on all Christmas presents next year!?

Could you not have exchanged the things with labels on and you know where the store is for something different. Many stores relax their returns policy after Christmas for unwanted gifts and will at least give you the credit for the current selling price

son wouldn't want to give something as a present that he thinks is stupid

I wonder where he gets that attitude from

I bet your local library would kiss your feet for boxes of Lego.

it is very hard and a minefield buying for others especially if they have specific requirements or conditions have you made a list of items that children need and can have bit like a wedding present list On the plus side at least the items will raise much needed money for charity

I've had loads of unusable presents over the years. I've never minded. It's nice people have thought of the kids, it didn't cost me anything, and if they are new (and even if not, quite often) then the person has spent their own money on my child.

Quite honestly it never even crossed my mind to mind, other than to worry that the people might realise that they weren't worn/played with, and be hurt.

By the way the comments you made about the dinosaur book reminded me of that brilliant bonkers thread about the women who went NC with her SiL (I think it was her SiL) because she gave her kids books about dinosaurs and they as a family believed that dinosaurs were made up to disprove that god created the world. and that the earth was only 4000 years old. That was an excellent thread

Give everything to a family who will appreciate them. A family who got nothing/ very little at Christmas. Perhaps a family in a shelter or a refugee charity.

I don’t like the Lego sets. They’re a PITA. Our son can’t follow the instructions to build them, so we have to, and then half the pieces are missing before the day is out.

I would much rather just receive Lego bricks.

However -

1. it turns out that just buying normal Lego bricks is practically impossible, unless you are buying a tub of them, and that retails at about £30 +

1. Walk into the average ‘boys’ section in Tesco etc and the only thing you can buy in the 6+, £10-15 price range which isn’t a nerf gun is Lego car/spaceship/batman/Star Wars sets. Like what you received.

As for the clothing situation, people just don’t understand, and don’t have the time to in the run up to Christmas. All you want to ensure is that everyone who requires one has a gift. If they read the label at all then it might very well say 10% polyester, but perhaps they didn’t get beyond reading 90% cotton and presumed that was a high enough percentage.

Yes, it’s frustrating, but complaining about a gift is pretty rude and ungrateful.

Maybe just request no gifts next Christmas? Genuinely. It’ll make your life less stressful.

that brilliant bonkers thread about the women who went NC with her SiL (I think it was her SiL) because she gave her kids books about dinosaurs and they as a family believed that dinosaurs were made up to disprove that god created the world. and that the earth was only 4000 years old. That was an excellent thread

Nooo, I missed that one! It sounds fabulous to the nth degree (did she insist she was being VVVVVVR indeed in the teeth of a unanimous chorus to the contrary, too? Those are always beautiful.)

Ohyes, of course she did. It lead to a lot of excellent links to equally bonkers sites by people who believe the same

I love threads like that: nobody's in danger, nobody's heartbroken... just good old-fashioned harmless insanity, and in someone oblivious.

Shall have a hunt in the archives.

As a serial lurker this post has inspired me to sign in and comment, it's so impressive. My comment is only that I suspect the OP has an instafeed of her children wearing muted organic cotton and playing with wooden toys and pine cones. In fact, i think I've seen it.

OP a local food bank has expanded to include school uniforms and shoes for children who literally dont have any footwear. It might be a good idea to take your little boy to a similar facility and show him how lucky he is.

How ungrateful
Clothes can be returned.
I’m sure there’s loads of kids who’d love that lego as a gift
If you were my family member that’s the last lot of presents I’d waste my money on

BitOutOfPractice. OMG gutted I missed that one......sounds fab!! Think Sir David Attenborough would put her right!