Openly judgmental towards tattoos?

[StandardRussian66]

My OH is tattooed from the neck down. They are cultural tattoos and he is a big guy, over 6ft and does body building.
I knew him years ago when he didn’t have the tattoos and when he was slim. Strangers were nice to him, and treated him like any other person. But now, he finds that men tend to square up to him on nights out, shop staff and waiting staff are abnormally abrupt and people in general is just openly quite hostile towards him. It makes me sad, and makes him anxious about going out.

AIBU to think most people aren’t this ignorant that they can’t see past the ink and see that he’s just a normal guy who wants to be able to enjoy a glass of coke in his local pub without men puffing their chests out at him whenever he walks by?
I thought we were over this in this day and age.

Tats are mad looking things. There I said it.

I do not like them, I judge those who have them primarily because I cannot understand how anyone could have something indelible inserted under their skin for ever more!

I'm talking about very visible tats here.

What is the point? Couldn't you have a picture painted for your house or something instead of covering your body forever in this?

Must
Who is stuck up? And here we have another sterotype of the non inked individual

but why should we want them reversed? Because society says so?

Of course not. But tattoo removal is a pretty big business. Unfortunately, lots of people do regret it.

Must I guess the prior poster was maybe referring to if you changed your mind re the work one day. I had two tattoos and now have one for this very reason. I know the majority of people here may think that's crazy and they are entitled to their opinions.But, my body, my choice.

I personally like tattoos and although we all gravitate towards making assumptions about people, I'm judgemental about people's actual behaviour ie if they are noisy/aggressive etc. As long as the tattoo bearer is a nice person that's all that matters IMO.

For me, someone chooses to do to themselves in their business and their business only. BTW...the OPS H's tattoos sound amazing...

The worst has to be wedding dresses though: a beautiful woman in a gorgeous dress with a blight-tastic tat on her back or arms or neck ....nooo 🤦🏻‍♀️...just no.

My child has a genetic disorder requiring many surgeries under different consultants. Not one of them, who come round the wards with rolled up sleeves, have tattoos. It doesnt happen. Some nurses yes. But never a surgeon. Some still wear bow ties
In academia where I work, tatts are only accepted in the more alternative schools such as psychology. Otherwise its all middle class tweed!

Decoys.

You said it exactly. The Bride might not care, but the reality is that most others will clutch pearls and gasp.

Bumsnets nothing to do with a stereorype of non inked...was in reply to someone who stated those with tattoos are just attention seekers.

I have friends inked & friends who aren't, i don't view them any differently based on that. Each to their own...altho i do find the non inked more judgemental than those with tats!

Bumsnets the surgeon who pinned my dad's shoulder back in place had a tat on each forearm & came out with sleeves rolled up 😃 I've spoken to a few doctors with tats since i've had DD (who is 5) they usually look surprised when i ask questions 🙈

I've worked in schools since before i was at Uni, i have tats that can't be covered up. Never had any issues! I think the idea that having tats makes you somehow less...moral...is ridiculously entertaining 😂

Well, you think it's the worst, DecoysBitch. I love the way tattoos look with formal dresswear, on both men and women.

Horses for courses, etc. I can't say I've ever had any problems with people (either in my work or socially) because of my tattoos. However I think that's likely to be because people are polite enough to keep any negative opinions to themselves, just as I do when I don't like someone's shoes.

Must re children conforming
There is a line. Of course. And i wish them to be accepting of others. But they need to stay on one side of the line to have more opportunities. And that is the mainstream one unfortunately.

He has a good career, and I will also have a good career when I’ve finished my training.

Agree with @cathyclown it's a shame tats can't automatically disappear after 5 years, (then be reapplied again if the wearer wishes.)

They really are incredibly permanent, and soooo hard to remove... When I see young and beautiful women (some I know well/am related to) covered in tats, I feel dismay to be honest. I am prepared to be flamed for saying that like 'oh so you think women should look pretty and feminine eh?'

Err, yeah I do actually.

And yeah a lot of people DO regret it.

I do agree with tattoos and wedding dresses. I think they look awful together. I remember who was it Jo Wiley or Sarah Cox or one of them... their wedding and she had beautiful shoes you could see and I thought she had mud all over one of her feet, it was a big tattoo and it looked most weird.

But that doesn't mean I don't like a person, I just find it a bit of a shame and can't quite get my head round why people think they are beautiful or striking or wonderful or clever. I just see them as black or coloured ink in a wrong place.

My father is a children’s doctor and had tattoos. My grandad was a paramedic and has tattoos. Marking your skin really has no baring in your ability to do a job.

Frog so do you judge the same if a woman has really short hair? Am finding it really interesting the judgement reasoning on here. I had my head shaved (initially for charity then i just liked it!) and an old fashioned SU of mine told me it was awful & didn't look very feminine (he also hated tats & piercings so between me & another heavily tattooed/pierced colleagues we got a lot of pursed lips 😆)

I love how people unveil that tattoos are permanent/for life/don't come off like it's a big revelation they must enlighten everyone about.
If someone goes ahead with getting inked without bearing this in mind, more fool them.

Will await flaming. I hate tattoos. I have never seen one I have liked. I think large tattoos or many tattoos looks disgusting. I don't make assumptions about the character of people who have them eg he is aggressve, she is rough but I can't understand how anyone can find them attractive or want ne.

My DH is big and has a lot of tattoos both arms covered but he generally gets alot of compliments and people grabbing his arms to have a look at them closer. Which he loves telling people the story's behind them and which artist did them, and why not he paid enough to have them done!

Lulu, that's fine. Don't get one then.

Anxious it usually becomes an artist swap fest doesn't it 😂 I sometimes have to apologise to people because i will point or gawk (so bloody rude) before asking where a tat was done. Can't help it...a good artist is bloody hard to find!!

"Lulu, that's fine. Don't get one then."

Amen!

OK in fairness,

Why do people ink themselves indelibly, forever, never to be reversed.

I think a lot of people follow a trend. That's fine most fads can be reversed over time. But tats cannot and follow you to the grave.

Awful things tats, and yes I do make judgments sorry about that.

I suppose I just cannot understand the decision to do it. Why, when it is so irreversible? Thank you.

It's all about context, physique etc. My DH has a full sleeve but never had a bad comment about it. He's a nerd of the first kind, not at all intimidating kind of guy, very friendly and approachable. He has works in scientific/medical research and has a PhD. So it all depends really. I have tattoos too and also work in a professional field (legal), never had a negative comment either (apart from my mum who was almost crying at the same time as applying the cream on my back for the tattoo to heal - when I was 18) altho they are not always visible.

Because we like them. It’s really that simple.

And still, I can not find an answer as to why people think it’s ok to be openly rude to someone who has them. That is what this thread is about.