Openly judgmental towards tattoos?

[StandardRussian66]

My OH is tattooed from the neck down. They are cultural tattoos and he is a big guy, over 6ft and does body building.
I knew him years ago when he didn’t have the tattoos and when he was slim. Strangers were nice to him, and treated him like any other person. But now, he finds that men tend to square up to him on nights out, shop staff and waiting staff are abnormally abrupt and people in general is just openly quite hostile towards him. It makes me sad, and makes him anxious about going out.

AIBU to think most people aren’t this ignorant that they can’t see past the ink and see that he’s just a normal guy who wants to be able to enjoy a glass of coke in his local pub without men puffing their chests out at him whenever he walks by?
I thought we were over this in this day and age.

Must i probably wouldnt have the guts to say anything but i would feel more vulnerable than if they were non inked.
Most docs are not

What would make you feel vulnerable? I'm genuinely curious...i can sort of understand the idea that a 6ft buff bloke covered in tattoos can be overbearing.

My husband is tall and was built like a brick shit house, as they say.

He is really gentle and hates any conflict. I have been with him when other men have given him funny looks, some have purposefully tried to start fights.

He isn't as big right now due to an injury but he is still bigger than a lot of men. It has died down somewhat since he got smaller.

It amazes me that so many men saw him as a challenge or something.

Always cracks me up, just because someone has bulk doesn't mean they know what they're doing in a punch up 😂 Sometimes the saying 'the bigger they are, the harder they fall' is very apt!

Sorry I was picking DD up from nursery.
His Japanese mother also had tattoos. He has the same tattoos she had. The Japanese aren’t that against tattoos these days as it has become more westernised. Probably only a little bit more taboo than they seem to be here.

It strikes me as a 'dont give a shit' attitude as in, i dont care what i look like therefore i dont care about anything else. I would assume the person had much lower standards. This is probably not the case but unconscious bias on my part. I wouldnt respect them as they havent respected their bodies if nothing more than to defy expectations of appearance deemed necessary. Just my opinion and dont wish to offend

I'm not offended (heavily tattooed & used to be pierced too!). I was just curious, appreciate you answering 🙂 Would you feel the same about an overweight GP? (My bugbear having been heavily reprimanded for a weight gain that was medication induced by a female GP about three times my size 😡)

I think tattoos look awful but would never say so not sure why anyone would care what my opinion is.

I saw a man recently who had his whole face tattooed he looked terrifying. That decision surely will massively impact his life chances. I didn't want to stand near him at the bus stop let alone give him a job.

as they havent respected their bodies

What a bizarre notion. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I exercise.

But yeah, little bit ok a lot of ink is disrespecting my body

You're stuck with a tattoo for life

Nah, you aren't.

You might be stuck with A tattoo for life, but you won't always be stuck with a tattoo you don't like.

We met a lovely young couple on holiday, both of them were covered in tattoos. The young woman had her hair shaved underneath and her head was tattooed. She was telling me, I didn't ask, that she was an optician and wore her hair down for work.

I wonder why she felt the need to inform you what she did without being asked.

And I wonder if she would have been so quick to tell you her job if she worked on the tills in Poundland?

I agree with the poster who said there seems to be a trend amongst middle aged people (usually women, and not middle or upper class ones!) to have tattoos, often when they have never had any before. They are often done badly, and are the names of their kids or their current boyfriend. cringe

I have lost count of the amount of chubby middle aged women I have seen with tacky tats on their upper arm (with short sleeves of course, so everyone can see the tats,) or on their breast (VOM!) or on the back of their neck, or their back!

Ugly as eff.

Almost everyone I know under 35 has a tattoo. Many years ago, 80's/90's, you looked a bit edgy and cool if you had a tattoo, now you just look like a sheep, and you look more cool and edgy if you haven't got one. Some people think they're so youneeek by having tats, but everyone has them, so they're really not!

I also think you are closing a lot of doors for yourself if you have lots have tattoos that are very visible. Like it or not, people WILL judge. I have seen some younger people whose tattoos look OK, and other younger people whose tattoos look utterly fucking shit.

I do think is rude to say anything to anyone though, and would never say it in person. I would judge (some people) on their tats, silently, but would not say anything.

It’s very interesting how people view them.
I have tattoos, some of which I show off, some I do cover because they do have negative connotations.

Do you also judge people who smoke/drink/do drugs/are overweight? Cause surely all of those are not respecting their bodies. What about piercings? I have a friend who got tattoos to cover up some scaring on her arms from where she self harmed. She is finally happy with looking at her arm now whereas before she hated it. Would you judge her more for the tattoos or her scars?

Personally I love each of my tattoos & couldn't give a stuff what anyone else thinks 🙈 I can cover some up, others I can't - never had a problem working (used to work in schools). Obviously there are some exceptions, such as tattoos depicting gang membership or hatred of a particular group. I judge people with tattoos purely based on the skill level of the work done 😂😂

His Japanese mother also had tattoos. He has the same tattoos she had.

Genuinely interested. What kind of tattoos did his mother have that he has replicated?

I know I am being judgy here, but I dislike visible tats. OK have them if you want to but unobtrusively. Otherwise I judge.

And they make any outfit look ridiculous. The most beautiful outfit on either male or female is destroyed with a clashing bit of so called body art.

Anyway, before I get totally flamed, my DP worked in a profession that knew immediately what kind of tats meant trouble and those that didn't. But judgment again.

I suppose the fact of the matter is, they are indelible. So if you are artistic or whatever, make sure they can be hidden at certain times, because believe me, for job purposes and many other purposes they are viewed negatively by a lot of people, that is the reality.

I'm afraid that I do judge but only in a sympathetic way. I sympathise with anyone that chooses to self harm in this way, I really do.

Frog summed my feelings up.
No not bothered about obesity. Not always a choice. Nor drink/drugs as they are behaviours which can be hidden. The thing with tatts is that they are a visible statement which says something about the wearer. Coverable much less offensive. My friend works at a hospice. If she had tattoos she would not be allowed to work in that role. Tatts so obvious are a 2 fingers up at society and are a statement of being 'alternative'. Thing is so many people go for that look that it isnt actually alternative. Celebrity culture has influenced all sorts.
No tatts are worse than those ear stretchers though. None of those look good on amyone!

She had koi, lotus flowers, proverbs, Sakura. Very traditional and each tattoo represented one of her children. (She had 6). They were all easily covered and no one would ever know she had them.

Cricket would judge the tatts never the SH scars.

I sympathise with anyone that chooses to self harm in this way, I really do

Please don't be disrespectful to people who self-harm. Tattooing is a very different thing and the two shouldn't be conflated

I absolutely hate ear stretchers. I think they look horrible. But I wouldn’t be openly disapproving and a dick towards someone who did have them.

I know somebody in a hospice roll with tattoos, two of which she can't easily cover. She's been in her role for nearly 10 years now!

I worked in a school where one of the teachers had visible tattoos & i thought it was bloody brilliant because it teaches the kids that there is more to a person than how they look. A small minority of parents had a whinge but the school backed the teacher (she was a good teacher).

I used to self harm quite severely. My desire to get the tattoos i have was in no way viewed in the same light as me taking a razor blade to my skin. One was a very deep act of self loathing; the other was an expression of something i am passionate about

I'd be far more inclined to gravitate towards a heavily tattooed person (particularly if they are good tattoos) than I would a person with none

That's just as bad as saying I'd avoid a person with tattoos because I find them intimidating or whatever.

I am 50 and when I was young tattoos were something that only sailors or thugs had. I suppose I carried that negative association with me for many years. I still don't particularly like them but they are very mainstream now. My dd has a few and I hate them but I keep my mouth shut, her body her business. I suppose I just look at her beautiful youthful skin and think why cover that up? I remember seeing Cheryl Cole getting that massive tat on her arse and thinking wow if I had a young peachy butt I would not 'spoil' it by covering it in flowers. Different strokes for different folks as they say.