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AIBU?

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Original poster

Openly judgmental towards tattoos?

809 replies

StandardRussian66 · 03/01/2018 14:48

My OH is tattooed from the neck down. They are cultural tattoos and he is a big guy, over 6ft and does body building.
I knew him years ago when he didn’t have the tattoos and when he was slim. Strangers were nice to him, and treated him like any other person. But now, he finds that men tend to square up to him on nights out, shop staff and waiting staff are abnormally abrupt and people in general is just openly quite hostile towards him. It makes me sad, and makes him anxious about going out.

AIBU to think most people aren’t this ignorant that they can’t see past the ink and see that he’s just a normal guy who wants to be able to enjoy a glass of coke in his local pub without men puffing their chests out at him whenever he walks by?
I thought we were over this in this day and age.

OP posts:
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C8H10N4O2 · 04/01/2018 19:18

HoneyBeeMum1 are you related to Crumbs?

OP: Tattoos, pierces, beards and pony tails are commonplace. They appear regularly among lawyers, doctors (yes including surgeons - had one last year), management consultants, cap markets banking etc. Mostly its younger people with tattoos (under 40, mainly under 35) but they are all there.

Does he get the same reaction in formal and casual dress? People judge a lot on clothes as well. Facial/neck tattoos seem to have more negative reaction than body tattoos but good quality tattoos will generally be more accepted than cheap d-i-y looking types. His skin colour could be a bigger factor if you are in UK.

As a tall, well built man on the proverbial dark street at night I'd be a bit more cautious than with a middle aged woman but that has nothing to do with tattoos, simply the maleness.

This thread seems to have a lot of posters from the DM comments section.

Original poster
StandardRussian66 · 04/01/2018 19:37

bumbags maybe if he looks like Noel Gallagher! Grin

CH DP is a paramedic, but I thought I wouldn’t mention that as it would melt brains Grin

OP posts:
dustarr73 · 04/01/2018 19:41

StandardRussian How is that possible,he has tattoos.No way he has a professional job dealing with the public.[sarcasm]

Coconutspongexo · 04/01/2018 19:42

Honey you clearly live in some fantasy world.

user1492877024 · 04/01/2018 19:42

StandardRussian66

Lol. Grin

Floellabumbags · 04/01/2018 19:42

maybe if he looks like Noel Gallagher!

More like a baffled dad looking for his slippers

MmeGuillotine · 04/01/2018 19:45

I am a historian, with a nicely growing catalogue of historical biographies to my name, and have a tattoo of Anne Boleyn on my upper bicep to celebrate this, along with a couple of other pieces relevant to my other interests, such as a small black star to commemorate David Bowie etc. At a recent private event at Windsor Castle, I had a journalist come up to me, wave at my exposed arm and say 'Oh, isn't it lovely that PEOPLE LIKE YOU are allowed to publish books nowadays!?' Grin

(My degree is in History of Art and I definitely think that a lot of tattoos, although not all and probably not even most, are definitely skilful enough to be considered art.)

aliasjoey · 04/01/2018 20:06

Those saying that human skin is beautiful enough on its own, what if you have an ugly body? If you have saggy skin or acne or something, can you get a tattoo since you’re marked already? When someone asks how I could ‘mutilate’ my body, I want to show them my surgical scars which healed badly and say at least I had a choice with the tattoos.

And one is visible (on my finger instead of a wedding ring) but no-one at work has ever mentioned it. I work in a library.

HoneyBeeMum1 · 04/01/2018 20:10

I have listed a number of qualities my daughters enjoy, so how do some of you conclude that beauty is all they have going for them?

It is possible to be beautiful and accomplished in other ways you know.

I don't know where I said I would disown a child who had a tattoo, several of you seem to have imagined it. If they did disfigure themselves with tattoos, I would be disappointed at their poor judgment and concerned at how it would affect their life chances. It would not stop me from loving them.

The bit about my son having his own home was meant to explain why he is not out with us when his sisters are being admired.

Annie, or someone seemed to think I was only concerned with my daughters' looks.

Coconutspongexo · 04/01/2018 20:12

How would their tattoo impact their chances in life? It’s 2018

My dads a consultant has a tattoo - wouldn’t you trust him as your Dr because he has a tattoo?
My brother a&e registrar tattoos - what about him? Is he beneath you because he has tattoos??

froginapond · 04/01/2018 20:16

There are a lot of people on here claiming they have seen doctors/ surgeons/ consultants/ professors/ opticians/astronauts/etc etc etc who have tattoos, yet I have never seen one single person in a professional or middle class job with tattoos.

Even if these people exist, they are very rare.

And it still doesn't change the fact that many people don't look good with tattoos.

Coconutspongexo · 04/01/2018 20:17

I have a tattoo on my hand frog - I’m in my final year of medicine. Maybe one day you will come across me.

froginapond · 04/01/2018 20:19

Good for you.

I have still never seen any professional - least of all a medical one, with tattoos.

JacquesHammer · 04/01/2018 20:19

And it still doesn't change the fact MY OPINION that many people don't look good with tattoos

Fixed that for you.

Clearly if you've never seen anyone in a professional role with a tattoo it definitely can't happen.

froginapond · 04/01/2018 20:19

I think most professionals have more sense.

froginapond · 04/01/2018 20:20

There is a fly buzzing around in here.

Coconutspongexo · 04/01/2018 20:20

Good for you that you’ve never seen one. Round of applause.

froginapond · 04/01/2018 20:20

Anyone got a hammer to swat it?

HoneyBeeMum1 · 04/01/2018 20:21

You need to read this thread to get your answer Dipping.

I am sure people can come up with examples of professionals with tattoos. Just as many heavy smokers can tell you they know of someone who smoked 40 a day and lived to 102 years old.

The whole point is they are extraordinary, only because they are unusual.

A tattoo might not prevent you from getting on, but it certainly won't help.

All those with tattoos, screaming that I am wrong, know I am right. You wouldn't be so outraged otherwise.

Coconutspongexo · 04/01/2018 20:22

You’ll be seeing a lot more professionals finishing University and their training with tattoos soon so I’m sure people won’t be so snobby about them in a few years time.

C8H10N4O2 · 04/01/2018 20:23

yet I have never seen one single person in a professional or middle class job with tattoos

Unless your business meetings are held in swimwear you probably don't see them.

JacquesHammer · 04/01/2018 20:23

All those with tattoos, screaming that I am wrong, know I am right

I've never known anyone struggle in any role with visible tattoos. But still. I imagine you know best

mustbemad17 · 04/01/2018 20:23

I've never seen the Northern Lights. Does that mean they don't exist???

HoneyBeeMum1 · 04/01/2018 20:24

With the fluffy bunch of snowflakes fluttering around our universities at the moment, I suspect tattoos will be the least of our worries...

Coconutspongexo · 04/01/2018 20:25

Mustbemad sorry to tell you they don’t exist... neither does Finland.

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