Openly judgmental towards tattoos?

[StandardRussian66]

My OH is tattooed from the neck down. They are cultural tattoos and he is a big guy, over 6ft and does body building.
I knew him years ago when he didn’t have the tattoos and when he was slim. Strangers were nice to him, and treated him like any other person. But now, he finds that men tend to square up to him on nights out, shop staff and waiting staff are abnormally abrupt and people in general is just openly quite hostile towards him. It makes me sad, and makes him anxious about going out.

AIBU to think most people aren’t this ignorant that they can’t see past the ink and see that he’s just a normal guy who wants to be able to enjoy a glass of coke in his local pub without men puffing their chests out at him whenever he walks by?
I thought we were over this in this day and age.

None of them have tattoos

You do know their "accomplishments" are nothing to do with that right?

coloured in

And no. I've had visible tattoos since I was 18. I have never gone for an interview I haven't got. Roles were in a school, legal department of a bank and two firms of solicitors

Your babies are never too young for language, btw. I'm not a native English speaker but was brought up with it. The earlier, the better.

You are right about languages Annie.

My husband and I speak mostly English, but we are learning to speak Scottish Gaelic.

The older girls speak Scottish Gaelic to their friends and each other. Hopefully, the twins will take on both as they develop.

I think you might have misunderstood what I meant about strangers admiring my daughters. I am not talking about predatory men.

We and they are aware of the dangers that affect young people, whether they are beautiful or not. Our children are precious and protected.

The attention their appearance attracts has almost always been positive. The two occasions when it wasn't involved teenage girls the first time, and adult women the second time.

The women's ire was primarily targeted at me, but they abused and insulted my daughters verbally as well.

@HoneyBeeMum1

Why are people so offended because I am proud of my beautiful daughters

We're not offended by that. We're offended by your offensive remarks.

I do not like tattoos. I don't like fur coats either. So what?

Why is that offensive bumbags? It sounds like you have a bit of a chip on your shoulder as well as a tattoo.

No, I didn't misunderstand, Honey. I wasn't talking about predatory men. It's a symptom of misogyny to single out and appraise females on their looks and erodes self worth. It is not a compliment nor something to be happy about.

Why are your children's list of average achievements relevant?

Nobody is offended by the fact that you think your daughters are beautiful, Honey. They’re offended by your ridiculous remarks, such as comparing women to paintings. I am an adult human woman. I am in no way comparable to a fucking painting.

Your list of your childrens’ achievements is —probably made up— irrelevant to the discussion at hand.

I disagree Annie.

My son who has his own home now is admired for his good looks. I am too (although not so much nowadays).

I have never felt diminished by compliments. Neither has it prevented me from achieving academically, professionally, or as a parent.

Honestly, there is nothing unpleasant about being admired.

Plus Honey what would you do if one of you r children came home wiht a tattoo.Not talk to them again,cut them out of the will.

Or will you just accept tehm for teh people they are,not an extension of you.But their own person.

I am an adult human woman. I am in no way comparable to a fucking painting.

This. It is, frankly, embarrassing that anyone could possibly think otherwise.

This thread has now gone in a direction that is utterly irrelevant to the OP, or even a wider discussion of it. It should probably be left here.

I just found it strange to place so much value on stranger's opinions on her daughters' looks to the extent of being upset at the thought of these encounters ending should one of them get a tattoo. If they are so lovely looking, a tattoo wouldn't change that.
There is more to life than other people finding your offspring good looking or not :/

My son who has his own home now is admired for his good looks

That's the most amazing non-sequitur ever

So am I, Honey although I feel vain admitting it. But I have to tell you it's tiresome to be judged on physical appearances. Maybe I'm not as shallow as you, though. I guess I think deeper about things?
Well done to your son on getting his own home, like other adults do.

Bumsnetnetbums Thu 04-Jan-18 12:52:47
No. Your comment was vile and an insult to posters and that poor girls family. It was not about not liking tattos but using that as an excuse for evil depravity. Disgusting. Will step off here the discussion has gone too far and is nasty. Not in the spirit of good debate. Enjoy your horrible views with someone else

Hi Bums, please don't disappear off here. I've enjoyed your contributions and have found myself agreeing with everything you have said, which lets be honest, is a lot more articulate than most on here. I fully agree with you, re, JacquesHammer in that she has been offensive. I'm sure that I read earlier that she claimed to be a solicitor in a top law firm. That's what I love about MN, it attracts all sorts, including WALT'S.

I'm sure that I read earlier that she claimed to be a solicitor in a top law firm

Yes. I was but hey random stranger on the internet feel free to know more

Oh my life! I've had a Road to Domestos moment. HoneyBeeMum has such prosaic perfect children because she is pure of skin. I have the bastard love children of Stig of the Dump and Chuckie because I have tattoos.

I've seen the light! If only I'd kept myself clean they could be doing those macrame things that you keep pot plants in and recycling their own keek into fertiliser for their organic community garden.

Nah, @JacquesHammer because you have tattoos you are obviously uneducated and couldn't possibly have had a successful career! 😅

This thread is bizarre. I've been on Mumsnet a long time but never fail to be amazed at how fucking judgemental and stuck up some people are.
I have multiple tattoos and piercings by the way, a career and two children who may not be "exquisite" looking, play the jazz flute or ride horses but they are kind and caring and happy. That'll do me

@crazycatgal you're so right. Best chuck the directorship and close the company now. I'm just a fraud

I hope for your sake your "exquisite" daughters are never involved in any kind of accident that might endanger their looks, since that's apparently the only thing they have going for them

How vile.

I hope MN admin steps into this thread soon.

Get a grip people.

Crikey i miss all the fun 😱 Some...interesting...comments been added. As the mother of a daughter it saddens me that a woman's worth seems to be based on beauty. Which, btw, like art, is subjective. And, like tattoos, fades with time!!

To PP who asked, he’s half Japanese, half Tahitian. Sorry, I can’t temember your username! (Baby Brain)

he’s half Japanese, half Tahitian. Sorry, I can’t temember your username! (Baby Brain)

My husband is from Manchester, would you like to swap?