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AIBU?

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Original poster

Openly judgmental towards tattoos?

809 replies

StandardRussian66 · 03/01/2018 14:48

My OH is tattooed from the neck down. They are cultural tattoos and he is a big guy, over 6ft and does body building.
I knew him years ago when he didn’t have the tattoos and when he was slim. Strangers were nice to him, and treated him like any other person. But now, he finds that men tend to square up to him on nights out, shop staff and waiting staff are abnormally abrupt and people in general is just openly quite hostile towards him. It makes me sad, and makes him anxious about going out.

AIBU to think most people aren’t this ignorant that they can’t see past the ink and see that he’s just a normal guy who wants to be able to enjoy a glass of coke in his local pub without men puffing their chests out at him whenever he walks by?
I thought we were over this in this day and age.

OP posts:
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FindoGask · 04/01/2018 10:50

As for children - I have two daughters and they so far show no interest in getting tattooed themselves. They regard my increasingly decorated body with affectionate bemusement, I think!

mustbemad17 · 04/01/2018 10:53

My DD is 5 😱 She loves to colour my tats in (all black & white designs so a wonderful canvas for her) & loves drawing tattoos on herself. If she grows out of it & decides she doesn't want any when she's older, fair play. But she'll never get the feeling she's let me down by getting one

Bumsnetnetbums · 04/01/2018 10:54

Well thats up to you Russian. You seem very agressive on this tgread towards any views different to yours. Kisses after responses if people are on your side. Debate is supposed to allow mature and free airing of opinion without getting nasty or personally attacking people because you have taken this personally. Tattoos do generate strong opinion and tge point of this thread is to discuss them not argue. Some of the inked posters are much more agressive in their replies as though you are angry at being judged. That is your right however you knew that by getting inked you would be viewed in a certain way. I have chosen not to and also for my kids not to. If that is embarrassing to them so be it but at least if they choose to tatt later they will be adults and their choice will be less impulsive as some teenagers who do not necessarily think if the future.
I have not or would not ever say i would be embarrassed if you were my daughter as that is awful. I simply said I would be disappointed as the life implications as i understand them are mainly negative except in very niche circles.

Cantspell2 · 04/01/2018 10:55

My sleeve is not designed to be pretty nor is it. Infact it is pretty dark and to someone who doesn’t know me would seem pretty random and dark but it tells a story of a painful period in my life. I don’t care if someone else thinks it’s unattractive as I didn’t have it inked on me to fit anyone’s idea of beauty. Infact I don’t do The whole I am a woman so therefore my make an effort to look attractive thing.

Roussette · 04/01/2018 10:56

Please yourself Findo... you were the one extolling how beautiful the elderly woman was with tattoos, I just said that might not apply to everyone. Some people can wear tattoos well, others quite frankly can't.

One of my DDs has a tattoo, I'm not that sneery as you put it... her body her decision. However, I am glad it isnt in a visible place... are we allowed to be honest and say that or will you tattooed people take offence?

Bumsnetnetbums · 04/01/2018 10:56

Sorry for typos. And i am aware aggressive has 2 g's-im case anyone questions my intelligence as i oppose their obviously correct views Hmm

juliesaway · 04/01/2018 10:57

The way tattoos have become popular over the last 10-15 years isn’t anything to do with people being meaningful and expressing their creativity, and everything to do with following fashion, the herd, and generally being a sheep. I’ve never seen anyone look more high class by getting a tattoo. That’s not to say they can’t be attractive. But they don’t enhance class - they diminish it.

Original poster
StandardRussian66 · 04/01/2018 11:00

bums

You’ve completely missed the point of the thread. And the onlyl kisses I have put were to Rose because I was responding to her sarcasm with my own sarcasm.
The only people in this thread who have been rude and attacking are the people who have called us mentally ill, attention seeking, self harmers, unattractive messes.
Which is exactly the proving the point of my thread. No one gives a shit if you don’t like how I look. But you have no right to be a total cunt to me because I’ve chosen to mark my skin.

OP posts:
mustbemad17 · 04/01/2018 11:00

In your opinion Julia - lots of people stating their opinion like it's fact 😆

Who cares about class?? Why on earth would anyone live their life to try & keep up with the Jones' as it were?
Again with the term 'sheep' - it fascinates me

JacquesHammer · 04/01/2018 11:02

But they don’t enhance class - they diminish it

Whose definition of class?

Bumsnetnetbums · 04/01/2018 11:05

Ive not been a total cunt nor would i be in person. I may silently think why but wouldnt mention it to you or your partner.

RhiannonOHara · 04/01/2018 11:05

I am glad it isnt in a visible place... are we allowed to be honest and say that or will you tattooed people take offence?

I don't have tattoos and I'm not offended, but I am interested in why you're glad.

dustarr73 · 04/01/2018 11:05

I have been getting tattooed since i was 17 and im now 44.Tastes change and i will admit ,theres 1 or 2 tatts im not mad on.But they are small and not racist or mean in anyway.
Its my skin to do with as i wish.I dont care if you dont like it,or worry about what it will look like when im 90.

Theres worse things i could be doing.

JacquesHammer · 04/01/2018 11:06

The funniest thing about people on MN who don't have tattoos is that they're such experts on everything to do with tattoos. From impact on education, to social class factors and lack of any chance of getting employment.

Is there a course one does?

FindoGask · 04/01/2018 11:06

"are we allowed to be honest and say that or will you tattooed people take offence?"

You're being petulant now. I haven't been offended by any post on this thread really: but if you're going to state your own opinions as if they're weighty, universal truths, you should be prepared for people to counter them.

Original poster
StandardRussian66 · 04/01/2018 11:06

Ive not been a total cunt nor would i be in person. I may silently think why but wouldnt mention it to you or your partner

Thankyou for finally answering the original question.

OP posts:
crazycatgal · 04/01/2018 11:07

People saying that if you choose to get tattoos then you are going to be judged - what about other circumstances?

Are you going to judge people who don't fit certain standards of beauty? Large noses, acne, being overweight, having wonky teeth?

At the end of the day if you're a decent person then you won't treat anyone differently because of how they look. If you treat people differently then it says more about you than other people.

Roussette · 04/01/2018 11:08

Because of her career Rhiannon, I think it would limit her if it was visible. I don't want to give details (the origins of the Co she works for) but even she knows that a visible tatt would not be a good idea

Roussette · 04/01/2018 11:10

Findo do point out where I've professed opinions as if they were weighty universal truths. I haven't.

I said that for every willowy gorgeous elderly woman covered in tattoos walking on the seafront, there are the opposite. Not sure how that's a weighty universal truth.

YellowMakesMeSmile · 04/01/2018 11:13

I'm a very relaxed parent, after a harsh childhood, but have three rules, no tattoos, no drugs and no smoking. Hate all three with a passion and would be gutted if they did any of them when they reached adulthood.

Skadespelerskorna · 04/01/2018 11:17

Beauty is a subjective thing.

If you out two identical twins in front of me and asked me which one I would prefer to take on a date, I'd pick the one with tattoos over the one without. I find them attractive and I honestly take a breath at his beautiful some are that I've seen.

Bumsnetnetbums · 04/01/2018 11:19

Crazy its veryy different having unconventional attributes naturally and choosing an alternative look

RoseWhiteTips · 04/01/2018 11:19

speakout

I think shortly we will see a reverse of this fashion of tattoos.
Once thought of as "edgy" young people will come to see them as the badge of the frumpy middle aged, sprawling tattoos over lumpy skin no longer quite cutting it.

I have two young adult children. Both laugh at the idea of tattoos, none of their close friends have tattoos either, not any desire to.

I agree absolutely. None of the young adults I know have them, interestingly. Why would they want to “enhance” their already perfect skin, anyway?

BishBoshBashBop · 04/01/2018 11:20

The funniest thing about people on MN who don't have tattoos is that they're such experts on everything to do with tattoos. From impact on education, to social class factors and lack of any chance of getting employment.

You can say that about absolutely anything.

Look at the threads about obesity and the judging that goes on in them.

RoseWhiteTips · 04/01/2018 11:22

Are you going to judge people who don't fit certain standards of beauty? Large noses, acne, being overweight, having wonky teeth?

It is not the same thing at all.