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AIBU?

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Original poster

Openly judgmental towards tattoos?

809 replies

StandardRussian66 · 03/01/2018 14:48

My OH is tattooed from the neck down. They are cultural tattoos and he is a big guy, over 6ft and does body building.
I knew him years ago when he didn’t have the tattoos and when he was slim. Strangers were nice to him, and treated him like any other person. But now, he finds that men tend to square up to him on nights out, shop staff and waiting staff are abnormally abrupt and people in general is just openly quite hostile towards him. It makes me sad, and makes him anxious about going out.

AIBU to think most people aren’t this ignorant that they can’t see past the ink and see that he’s just a normal guy who wants to be able to enjoy a glass of coke in his local pub without men puffing their chests out at him whenever he walks by?
I thought we were over this in this day and age.

OP posts:
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Original poster
StandardRussian66 · 03/01/2018 20:15

japanese hieroglyphics Grin

OP posts:
YellowMakesMeSmile · 03/01/2018 20:16

Hate them too, they just seem to ugly and a mask for other issues.

Neither am I keen on body builders either, fitness I get but bulking not. It comes across as intimidating.

dustarr73 · 03/01/2018 20:17

Japanese hieroglyphics

Writes down for new tattoo idea😁😁

Bumsnetnetbums · 03/01/2018 20:18

Its an interesting discussion.

PompholyxOfUnknownOrigin · 03/01/2018 20:18

I don't understand why the OP said on her first page that she did not like her husband having his head shaved because it "made him look like a villain". Do you think other people with shaved heads look like villains OP? Aren't you being just as prejudiced as the people who dislike tattoos?
Do any of your husband's five siblings (with the Tahitian father and Japanese mother) have tattoos?
Fascinating family.

RoseWhiteTips · 03/01/2018 20:18

The woman was older as well. She obviously imagined it was tasteful.

NotACleverName · 03/01/2018 20:20

Japanese hieroglyphics

FFS 😂

Original poster
StandardRussian66 · 03/01/2018 20:20

I meant that he looked like a particular villain not a villain in general. Sorry for the misunderstanding. Yes his siblings are tattooed.

OP posts:
cricketqueen · 03/01/2018 20:21

So far people with tattoos are self harming, attention seeking, deluded and trying to cover up other issues. God forbid people do things to their own bodies based on the fact they want to/ like the artwork.
Oh my DH thinks my tattoos are very attractive so they havent made me less attractive.

SandyY2K · 03/01/2018 20:22

I'm not a fan of tattoos. Especially heavily done full sleeves.

My DD17 was talking about getting one and I told her not to.

People have the right to do what they want to their bodies of course.

It also depends on the type of tattoos...as I think they are indicative of your character.

This is why people with certain type of tats were not allowed to join the met police. We would reject violent, garish, skull and crossbone /union jack tats.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 03/01/2018 20:23

Oh my DH thinks my tattoos are very attractive so they havent made me less attractive.

Not to him, anyway.

NotACleverName · 03/01/2018 20:24

My DD17 was talking about getting one and I told her not to.

Good luck stopping her in future.

As for being indicative of your character? Good god.

cricketqueen · 03/01/2018 20:25

Tbh I don't really care if no one else finds me attractive at this point. But I had the tattoos before I was married and managed to find men that weren't completely repulsed by my inked skin

RoseWhiteTips · 03/01/2018 20:25

To everyone else, though. Clearly.

TheLuminaries · 03/01/2018 20:25

It sounds like your DH has chosen to project a very traditional macho image with his bodybuilding and tats. Why does he do that, if he doesn't want to be judged as macho? It is quite an aggressive look - especially the body building, so I can understand it might make people cautious around him.

I have a tattoo, but as a tiny little woman, it doesn't make me scary. I find body building males a bit unappealing - like they have pumped up to take up more space and dominate their physical surroundings. I probably do have a chip on my shoulder about this because I am little and big people often pay scant regard to small people - standing in front of them at the bar, squishing them on public transport, talking over them etc. Big men are especially guilty of this.

RoseWhiteTips · 03/01/2018 20:26

My last post in response to this:

WhatToDoAboutThis2017

Oh my DH thinks my tattoos are very attractive so they havent made me less attractive.

Not to him, anyway.

SandyY2K · 03/01/2018 20:26

I can not find an answer as to why people think it’s ok to be openly rude to someone who has them.

I would never be openly rude to anyone.. about any feature on their body.

I do find some tats intimidating/scary and am more likely to back off and move away from a tattooed man if he was rude to me. Is walk away from it.

NotACleverName · 03/01/2018 20:27

To everyone else, though. Clearly.

Speak for your-bloody-self.

Unihorn · 03/01/2018 20:27

My husband has quite a lot of tattoos. It still catches me a bit when we're on holiday or swimming how much people stare at him. I think some of them are just a bit intrigued and trying to see the different ones he has but others just seem to stare quite rudely for minutes at a time. It still seems odd to me years later as I obviously barely notice them anymore.

Anniethinggose · 03/01/2018 20:28

Rose, have you considered getting a tattoo? It might make you more attractive 😂

Original poster
StandardRussian66 · 03/01/2018 20:28

He lifts weights because it’s been great for his mental health. It’s a hobby. He’s not massive like Arnie, think more like Jason Mamoa.
And his tattoos are celebrating his culture. He got his traditional Polynesian tattoos and incorporated his mother’s traditional Japanese tattoos.

OP posts:
cricketqueen · 03/01/2018 20:29

I think I'll live with the fact that some people in society will not think I'm attractive, not gonna lose sleep over it. I personally don't find condescending snobby judgemental people attractive but others must be ok with it....

RoseWhiteTips · 03/01/2018 20:31

No tattoo ever makes someone more attractive. Fact.

mustbemad17 · 03/01/2018 20:32

Personally if i'm not attractive to a person because of my tats, they clearly aren't the person for me. Helps weed out the wrong uns 😆

Having tats won't fuck up my wedding day - i'm never getting married, so that's a no brainer. Have never had a night out ruined by my tats & at my best friend's wedding my dress showed them all off; didn't have any negative comments & had a blinding night!

IME people with tattoos and/or piercings seem to be more accepting. The way i see it, if you're a shithead to me it doesn't matter what job you do, what clothes you wear or what colour your hair is...if you're a shithead i'm going to judge you based on your behaviour.