This is why we can't have nice things, and I'm tired of it

[faithinthesound]

Full disclosure: I don't actually think I'm being unreasonable. I know I'm angry and that is coloring some of my words and actions and responses, but I don't think I'm all that wrong. I'm here for a vent and some commiseration, really.

I've got this joke I make all the time when something goes wrong, like something gets knocked over or falls on the floor. I laugh and I say "and that is why we can't have nice things". But I'm sitting here today seething at just about everyone I've encountered today, because the truth is, we CAN'T have nice things. And I am so sick and tired of people who are the reason why.

Like, we can't have a nice sit out on the back porch because the neighbors are blasting rap.

Like, the timetable machine thing at this bus stop has been broken for months and will never be fixed because the second it's fixed, someone will be along to smash it up again.

Like, I can't get anywhere on time today because people want to stand and argue with the bus driver over whether or not they have to pay (spoiler: yes you bloody well do).

Like, I'm not particularly enjoying my dinner because the woman who served me at the fast food restaurant spoke to me like I am a moron (I'm not), and it has vexed me.

Like, we can't have threads like we used to like Sharon and the wasp, because there's a contingent of Reasons We Can't Have Nice Things who will be along before we're ten posts in, troll hunting and pooh-poohing and calling shenanigans, instead of getting into the spirit of the thing.

What about you guys? Want to share your "I can't have [nice thing] because [reason]"? I know I'm being very negative and ranty but sometimes it's nice just to be able to unload.

Who knows, RWCHNT (Reason We Can't Have Nice Things) might even catch on as a new MN acronym lol.

I felt like that today when I saw that Toby Young had been appointed by the government to a board overseeing universities. I think he might be all the RWCHNT rolled into one.

ALunerExplorer ditto

I hear you OP

We can’t have nice things because the second anyone down our road put up some outdoor Christmas decorations, someone just came and stole them.

We can’t have nice things because all the beautiful walks round here are ruined by selfish bastard dog owners who repeatedly leave their dog shit everywhere ruining it for everyone else.

We can’t have nice things because my kids can no longer walk to school as a group of parents think the entire fucking pavement is their personal parking space and leave their cars, all four wheels on so nobody can walk on it anymore.

We can’t have nice things because without fail, every Friday night, some drunk thug will walk back from the local pub, ripping down the lovely hanging baskets in our local high street and smashing local businesses front window. Now the council have stopped wasting money on the hanging baskets. It looks bare. Thanks bastards.

I can't have nice things because my cats think my stairs and landing carpet is there to scratch. Its been down since August and is looking shit! They have a scratching post.

ALunar what a kick in the gob that was.

I am a generally optimistic and positive person, but I think, objectively, things are just getting worse. Small local things like adult education/night school merely skeletal now, the annual arts festival no longer held, the pick-your-own soft fruit farm all grubbed up, huge amount of housebuilding on the nearby fields.

These are just small, but cumulative local issues, but I can extrapolate it out wider that things aren't as good as they used to be and I can't see them improving.

I don't know where you live OP but it doesn't sound a very nice place.

It's not like this everywhere.

Every day I am genuinely humbled by the good spirit of others. If I take a walk out of my front door every single person I meet will smile and say hello.
I never lock my car. Everyone in local shops is hospitable and chatty.

I have lived in other areas ( including abroad) and found the ethos to be the same.

As long as you also notice when we do have nice things - when a server in a restaurant is nice, that there are cool apps now that tell you exactly when a bus is coming, that there are loads more festivals than there used to be and so on. Believe it or not I'm normally fairly bleak, but something about this POV on a grim January morning makes me want to appreciate the good stuff. I think times are tough at the moment, but things have definitely been worse and we can't let ourselves spiral down. Not the point of this thread though I know.

There is so much thoughtless / selfish behaviour. I get annoyed by...
Dog mess all along my dog-walking route, despite the council providing numerous bins which are regularly emptied. Have to keep your eyes on the ground instead if being able to look up and enjoy the scenery. Just pick it up you lazy gits.
Litter thrown from cars on the same route, McDs, BK, KFC, energy drinks, cider/beer cans. Never any Waitrose wrappers
People who don't acknowledge you letting them out into traffic or holding a door open. Just plain ignorant.
Play parks that are no-go areas for younger children because of teens / young adults hanging around smoking weed and drinking, and being generally intimidating.
People parking in disabled spaces with no blue badge displayed - disabled DH often can't get a parking space because of this.
Then you come across some lovely people who let you go in front in the supermarket tills if you only have a few items, give you a parking ticket with some time left on it, or hand in the purse you've dropped. I like to think the nice people outnumber the knobs.

Speakout where you live sounds lovely.* Round here I can't have a bike because I'd have to leave it in the yard and it would get stolen, even if it was chained up. Same goes for a bbq, any child's toys etc. I can't put a Christmas wreath on my door because it would be stolen. I can't put leave a wooden chair outside my sunny front door because it would be stolen. I can't ever leave my back door open in the summer months to let some air in in case a burglar just walks in even though they know I'm there. Those would be nice things to be able to have or do. Yes, l live in a city and do actually choose to do so.*

The village I have just moved on has received lotto funding and planted a community vegetable garden on waste land.
My next door neighbour has started a choir and has performed in church halls over christmas.
My other neighbour handed in hot food when she heard we all poorly over christmas.
My DD won tickets at a school raffle for free entry to a local adventure playground- I have no small kids so handed them into a family who had just moved in ( hadn't yet spoken to them but noticed they had little ones)
Our ( not very wealthy) town has many music festivals and celebrations over the year.
In tesco over christmas I noticed the food bank bin was so overflowing that they had to park 4 trollies next to it to contain the overflow, including many large boxes of chocolates, cakes and fancy toiletries.
Our local radio station hadover a million pounds worth of toys donated for underprivileged kids this christmas.
Many women my age catch my eye and smile like kindred spirits, happens on a daily basis.
I never waste a chance to thank people when they help me, even when they are paid to do it.

I lost my DDs JD Sports gift card before christmas and head office arranged for a new one to be picked up in store within hours.

The world is full of good things.

Yes, l live in a city and do actually choose to do so. confused

I'm afraid part of what you describe is city life.

Which is part of the reason I don't live in the city.

Because we can't appreciate the nice things we have.

City life and village life are different

This thread I guess is about the cons of city life

Plenty city people who would be horrified at living in a village backwater

Village cons include no buses no post offices etc etc

I assure you I don't live in a "village backwater".

I can be in the heart of the capital in 20 minutes.

We can't have nice things because of the sodding gale force winds,it's broke 3 of our lovely outdoor Christmas decorations,they're things we've spent alot of time and money on not only for our 5DC but for all of the local children that come to see them every year.

My poor friend can't have nice things because of this sodding wind as well,it's broke a lovely tree she had in her garden in half and taken down most of the fences in her garden as well all whilst her and her 2DD's are at home really ill.

We can't have nice things because one of my relatives worked in a gardening team of volunteers who have restored and upkeep a public garden, but their shed keeps getting broken into, bottles and syringes left, tools stolen and glass everywhere. After the third time, he has just stopped volunteering, it's hard to dig without a spade and it's just an ordinary shed, not reinforced in any way. This is in a small town, so not just a city problem.

I live in a village that has buses every ten minutes and a post office...

Anyway. I can’t have nice things because I lose or break them or one of the kids does. Although in a vain protest against inevitability I do keep buying nice things.

Like, I scratched my new hob within a day. I bought a new magic light switch (which is awesome) but took a chunk out of the wall while fitting it. The cat has clawed the sofa we bought a month ago. And the kids are about to break the Nintendo Switch by leaving it laying around.

So we only have ourselves to blame. Other people seem not to be the problem.

speakout - I didn’t say you did

I also live within 30 mins of C London and our village has neither any regular buses, nor post office. Nearest supermarket is 4 miles away

Village life is different

With community comes invasion of privacy, plenty of people prefer the anonymity of cities

Not one is better than another

Different things suit different people

I've given up cleaning egg off my drive and house. Two teenage girls that live at the end of the street that do it. They're parents don't give a shiny shit. So why bother with new windows?
Why do they do it? Because I am not local? Because I walk with a stick? Because my daughter is top of the class? Because 3 gingers live here? All these reasons put forward by neighbours. I've given up. They do it because they are drones. Unthinking soulless.

Our last few small green spaces are being built on because housing demands are so high here, so there will be nowhere to take kids and dogs other than shops.
There were hardly any Christmas decorations in our medium sized town because the council and businesses can't afford to put any up.
No Christmas lights switch on or events (see above).
Most community events have stopped because charities who funded them no longer can, or government grants have been stopped.
The roadsides and woodland are strewn with rubbish or fly tipping, lazy bastards chucking stuff out of cars and rubbish pickers are gone.
This makes me very sad, we are a wealthy commuter town so council tax take is high- yet services are shit.

*their

Because my 9yr old breaks / draws on pretty much everything.

Can't have a nice neighbourhood because I seem to be the only person who doesn't leave my crap on the path, we all have gardens but the entitled shits refuse to put their items on their property. The council won't do anything about it.

Taffeta fair enough.

I find city life can be pretty invasive ( and I have lived in the city for 18 years as an adult).
OK yo may not know the name of people who live next door to you but personal body space is invaded on a pretty regular basis.
Crowded transport, shoved in with others, sharing what is usually personal body space, being forced to smell other's body odours., farts, what they had for breakfast.
Having to listen to other people's telephone conversations, shouts and jeers, unavoidably having other people .listen to your telephone conversations.
So many workers are jaded in the city, people overload, they forget to smile ( and who can blame them)

I find less invasion in a rural environment, not more.

Where I used to live there was a little play park. It was great for the age my children were. Except for the broken glass. And the bigger boys who would spin all the swings around the top bar so no one could use them. And the broken glass. Oh and they set fire to that squishy stuff on the ground.

There has since been an amazing new park built there but no doubt it will suffer the same fate.