This is why we can't have nice things, and I'm tired of it

[faithinthesound]

Full disclosure: I don't actually think I'm being unreasonable. I know I'm angry and that is coloring some of my words and actions and responses, but I don't think I'm all that wrong. I'm here for a vent and some commiseration, really.

I've got this joke I make all the time when something goes wrong, like something gets knocked over or falls on the floor. I laugh and I say "and that is why we can't have nice things". But I'm sitting here today seething at just about everyone I've encountered today, because the truth is, we CAN'T have nice things. And I am so sick and tired of people who are the reason why.

Like, we can't have a nice sit out on the back porch because the neighbors are blasting rap.

Like, the timetable machine thing at this bus stop has been broken for months and will never be fixed because the second it's fixed, someone will be along to smash it up again.

Like, I can't get anywhere on time today because people want to stand and argue with the bus driver over whether or not they have to pay (spoiler: yes you bloody well do).

Like, I'm not particularly enjoying my dinner because the woman who served me at the fast food restaurant spoke to me like I am a moron (I'm not), and it has vexed me.

Like, we can't have threads like we used to like Sharon and the wasp, because there's a contingent of Reasons We Can't Have Nice Things who will be along before we're ten posts in, troll hunting and pooh-poohing and calling shenanigans, instead of getting into the spirit of the thing.

What about you guys? Want to share your "I can't have [nice thing] because [reason]"? I know I'm being very negative and ranty but sometimes it's nice just to be able to unload.

Who knows, RWCHNT (Reason We Can't Have Nice Things) might even catch on as a new MN acronym lol.

An' if sometimes our conduck isn't all your fancy paints,
Why, single men in barricks don't grow into plaster saints;
While it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an` Tommy, fall be'ind,"
But it's " Please to walk in front, sir," when there's trouble in the wind

But people males actually put effort into doing utterly pointless unpleasant things. What are they getting out of it? A combination of having a visible effect on what's around them, and annoying a group of people who don't care about them and wouldn't give a moments thought to them otherwise?

The capital of the UK is London. It's a little disingenuous if you mean a regional capital, or indeed are outside the UK, isn't it?

The capital of England and the UK us London, the capital of Scotland is Edinburgh. I'm not a nationalist in the slightest, but it's simply incorrect to refer to Scotland as a region.

I couldn't recall the proper word! I knew someone would nitpick that
This is why we can't have nice threads...

Gosh this is a genuinely depressing thread.

I think a lot of these problems are caused by the massive cuts in locals services and support thanks to, guess who, the Tory Government. It's austerity in action

What are they getting out of it?
Presumably praise and respect from their peers. For some people their 'gang' is the nearest thing to a family and so they feel under pressure to vandalise, the riskier the better.

I always remember the scene in It's a Wonderful Life, when both George & Mary break windows in the house that they eventually move to. No one ever seems to mind that?

Nitpick **
So I voted a big fat No in the referendum, but you do know that this kind of talk is why so many people voted Yes, right?

The harm the rich do to the poor is often invisible - not hiring, serving notice, a gate or door. A poor credit score.

A busted lamp is there for all to see.

I also think the overheated housing market over recent decades and years has caused an almost ghetto society where people live in areas where everyone is like them. There's not much social cohesion because different parts of society literally never come across each other. That's certainly true in the "naice" town I live in (which I suspect may be the same one as @MrsKoala)

WCHNT because the place I work in has had 4 lots of graffiti and 2 break ins in the last year. It's a small independent charity, battling hard to survive, and one of the most historic buildings in the (supposedly naice) area. So sad that a small number of locals don't give a shit.

makeourfuture is spot on, and a bit of a poet I think too.

LostMyMojo you attitude pretty much sums up why so many CHNT

We can’t have nice things because of people on the internet, and people like Janet.

Does it begin with T Bit?

This thread has reminded me of a stand up Ben Elton did yonks ago about everything being a 'bit shit'. And the turn of phrase 'mustn't grumble'. He theorised that it can't be a coincidence and that we must quite like it, and possibly even cultivate it. (Ministry of crap design etc). He also surmised that this can be the only logical reason people vote Tory

Anyway, i am going to be a bit contrary now and say that altho i don't like vandalism (obviously) i do like a bit of urban grit. A few years ago we tried to move to Vancouver but came back after 6 months. One of the reasons I couldn't gel there, was it was too nice. It was like under the surface there was just more and more surface. I wanted a bit of edginess. I was sick of the smiling. So maybe Ben Elton was right and i'm just institutionalised to want things a 'bit shit'.

You could probably leave your car and front door unlocked around here because there are so many cars and front doors it's not worth the effort of trying to find the one that's open.

This thread makes me sad about the things people experience, but more about the way these things grind people down, so that some people can only see bad everywhere.

The comment about someone not putting the bar on the conveyor belt in the supermarket was one example - it was such a trivial thing, but it seemed to cause real upset. I guess that when enough genuinely horrid things happen, it's hard to have a positive mind set about anything.

It's easy for someone who doesn't experience this stuff on a daily basis to say 'look for the positives' but does anyone who lives in one of these areas where stuff is regularly wrecked or stolen have any advice on how to see the positives and not be ground down by it all? People often have no choice where to live, but they need to survive with some hope and spirit intact. How?

Agreed these things grind you down and you come to expect it.

I always say that to DH. I never lock the car and I say how lucky (or unlucky considering our bird shit covered skip on wheels) would you have to be to randomly try our car and find it was open?

The whole of history is of the tension between those at the top of the heap and the rest. How much can those at the top keep for themselves without getting serious unrest? And how can those at the top balance the two messages "we are different from you and deserve to be at the top" and "but we're like you really, so when you watch us enjoying ourselves and spending money, you enjoy watching it and aren't enraged by it". It would be fascinating to watch, apart from the fact that we're in the middle of it.

It doesn't *MrsKoala. It begins with an R but it sounds very similar yo yours. Every election I'm amazed there's more than one Labour vote - I feel like the only one!

I know what you mean about grit. I lived in Manchester in the 80s and love love loved its grittiness

Perhaps we could start a community-minded car share scheme in order to take the thugs to vandalise wealthy areas, rather than their own neighbourhoods...

It's easy for someone who doesn't experience this stuff on a daily basis to say 'look for the positives' but does anyone who lives in one of these areas where stuff is regularly wrecked or stolen have any advice on how to see the positives and not be ground down by it all? I live in a nice area, but we still have our share of litter, dog poo and vandalism. I cope by not looking at the litter and focusing on the nice things; by volunteering so that the things I'm involved in show a general improving trend; by remembering the people who trash things are in a minority.