This is why we can't have nice things, and I'm tired of it

[faithinthesound]

Full disclosure: I don't actually think I'm being unreasonable. I know I'm angry and that is coloring some of my words and actions and responses, but I don't think I'm all that wrong. I'm here for a vent and some commiseration, really.

I've got this joke I make all the time when something goes wrong, like something gets knocked over or falls on the floor. I laugh and I say "and that is why we can't have nice things". But I'm sitting here today seething at just about everyone I've encountered today, because the truth is, we CAN'T have nice things. And I am so sick and tired of people who are the reason why.

Like, we can't have a nice sit out on the back porch because the neighbors are blasting rap.

Like, the timetable machine thing at this bus stop has been broken for months and will never be fixed because the second it's fixed, someone will be along to smash it up again.

Like, I can't get anywhere on time today because people want to stand and argue with the bus driver over whether or not they have to pay (spoiler: yes you bloody well do).

Like, I'm not particularly enjoying my dinner because the woman who served me at the fast food restaurant spoke to me like I am a moron (I'm not), and it has vexed me.

Like, we can't have threads like we used to like Sharon and the wasp, because there's a contingent of Reasons We Can't Have Nice Things who will be along before we're ten posts in, troll hunting and pooh-poohing and calling shenanigans, instead of getting into the spirit of the thing.

What about you guys? Want to share your "I can't have [nice thing] because [reason]"? I know I'm being very negative and ranty but sometimes it's nice just to be able to unload.

Who knows, RWCHNT (Reason We Can't Have Nice Things) might even catch on as a new MN acronym lol.

I even judged someone the other day as she could easily reach the divider for the supermarket belt for me, but chose not to hand it over, instead i had to reach acrossher and her food to get it so i could start unloading. There wasnt any reason for her not being able to do this one small thing, she could see that i needed it, but just ignored me and gave me a look for having to reach over for it! first world problems and all that, but its the simple things sometimes that make for a slightly better world, yet people are completely self absorbed and only interested in themselves. I was brought up on a council estate and not rich, but i was taught manners, took my litter home and respected my elders! My parents were just like this and taught us to do the same.

I'd like to know where coastal command, speak out, and ?lovemusic live...
Particularly speakout, if it's 20 from London...even most of London is 20 minutes from London!

Bit of a de-rail but in a community spirited endeavour , could the nice people who pick up their dog poo , do so in biodegradable bags and meet at time suitably convenient to all round at Tuppences , anyone with a decent throwing arm would be welcome too . Under cover of darkness we will proceed to a designated spot and fling said poo onto the roof , these little parcels of pure putrid peril will then roll down said roof into the gutter and where they will nestle , gently decomposing

instead i had to reach acrossher and her food to get it so i could start unloading
NEWSFLASH - no you didn't. You can just start to put your groceries up without a divider. The world will not end. The person in front might even then think "oh divider" and put one down for you. But if they don't it really isn't an issue because you'll be close it it well before the cashier might think your groceries belong to the person in front.

WCHNT because some people get very annoyed when others don't perform life as they expect they "should", and they don't realise its not all about them.

Poor bashing.

Since when does being poor mean that you have to steal or destroy other peoples property and drop litter everywhere? Sure there may be an issue with disposing larger items (no transport to take stuff to tip/no money to pay for it to be taken away) but the poor aren't a different species that are unable to grasp the concept of bins or that you shouldn't take other peoples things or destroy stuff for kicks.

None of these behaviours are specific to being poor but they are worse in areas of deprivation.

I think there needs to be a an education initiative about what society means, how the health service is supposed to work, where money comes from etc.

The area where my DM lives is not the most deprived and actually used to be a lovely place to live. It has an active community council, lots of provision for children and youths yet, while she is in hospital after suffering a stroke, people have smashed in the windows of her stair meaning a bill to be sorted out both for the council and private tenants. So what exactly have they achieved and why do they think it's okay to do that? Because there are no consequences.

rebecca, i know this - i did say it was a first world problem! just a tiny example of how people dont think much about others sometimes - thats all. there are much bigger things for me to worry about, believe me.

There are good people everywhere and dickheads everywhere. I take tales of the perfect village or community with a large pinch of salt, tbh.

We cannot have nice things because the bus company like to fuck around with their timetables, cut services and increase prices in the name of good service, and leave it to their poor drivers to explain to harassed commuters why things are increasingly shit and ever more expensive.

I hate that there are machines doing others work for them. i was a tube station that used to have 2 or 3 booths all manned by real people, who i ask questions of and purchase the correct ticket and even smile at. now its a blooming machine that is slow and not that easy to navigate and i worry that it wont work or give me the wrong ticket etc etc. its all designed for them to have more profits - not for the customer at all. its all just soul destroying, but i think that is the aim sometimes.

Okay Creambun2 I agree with you on all that! I was thinking more about not destroying flower arrangements in the town centre not the very real issues you mention.

Phil you know there's more than one capital city in the UK, right?

ALunerExplorer I agree about Toby Young, even though I haven't a clue what RWCHNT means and google isn't my friend today.

I grew up in a village, it used to have 3 shops, 2 pubs a Salon and a reasonable bus service. Now there is 1 struggling pub and a crap bus service - because the people who lived their didn't use the local shops or catch the bus, preferring to drive to the nearest town. There also used to be a small playground on donated land maintained by locals, they stopped looking after it and it became a dumping ground, so it was cleared and houses built on it.
Try and explain that to the residents and they won't have it, it's always someone else's fault.

Since when does being poor mean that you have to steal or destroy other peoples property and drop litter everywhere? ... the poor aren't a different species that are unable to grasp the concept of bins or that you shouldn't take other peoples things or destroy stuff for kicks. The thing that has changed over my lifetime is that nowadays the chances of getting away from being poor are very much smaller. It's a lot more difficult to feel caring of other people's stuff (even communal stuff) when you feel that it's another world that you'll never be allowed to be part of.

I used to live in a fairly deprived area of a city and we couldn’t have nice things because someone would invariably destroy them. I cleared the communal garden of weeds and one of the neighbours used to throw their rubbish in it. I caught another one pulling up the flowers I had planted. These weren’t little kids or unruly teenagers either - these were grown adults.

I live in another country now and in an area where sych behaviour is incomprehensible. We can have nice things now.

There's cities and cities. Where I live now, thank goodness, is nice. I used to live in an inner city area which at one point could boast of "the most burgled street in Britain". It was horrendous. Not so much egg on the windows as airgun pellet holes in them! And the run up to bonfire night - it was like West Beirut, huge illegally imported rockets being fired horizontally along the street like bloomin' RPGs. And yup, nothing nice in your garden, would get trashed within half an hour of being put there. (I used to joke that you could tell who the local drug dealers' mums were, because those were the only houses that could have hanging baskets outside without being ripped down). Everyone had metal grills on their doors and windows.

I "adopted" a stray cat off the street (or rather, she moved herself in) - the local kids, who were actually really sweet, said they'd been pooling their pocket money to buy cat food for her, and hiding their stash of cans under a bush in one of the overgrown patches of wasteland - and some utter bastard had stolen their cans of petfood!

When I moved to a new city, I moved into a tiny flat a fraction of the size of my previous house, with a much bigger mortgage - because the one absolute non-negotiable was "must be in a nice area".

PhilODox

Who said I lived near London?

RebeccaBunch The dog poo parcels stuffed in cracks in the dry stone walls, or hung nicely on trees does my nut in!!!!

there is a lovely nature reserve near us with lots of bins.... yet the amount of poo not picked up is so annoying we rarely go now....its not worth the having to scrape poo on shoes before getting back in the car, or washing car mats because we hadnt noticed before getting in the car.....

we cant have nice walks because inconsiderate dog owners dont pick up poo!!!

As for "why do the poor do it?" - well, the answer is, they don't. It's 5% maybe who make life fucking miserable for everyone else. But the thing about being poor is you can't escape. I remember chatting to one of the neighbours who looked around us at the horrible urban wasteland, and said "this is no place to bring up a kid." I was there because it was a cheap stepping stone onto the property ladder, 10 years of hell, then you have the deposit for somewhere better - and I escaped because I have the educational background to claw my way up. For someone on a minimum wage job (which includes a lot of the jobs society desperately needs doing, jobs of great social worth to all of us), you're stuck.

Because the area I live in isn't safe enough to have nice things.
Unfortunately I have to live where I can afford
And this is where I can afford

We can not have nice things because in July people build massive bonfires near children's playgrounds and greenways because of 'culture'.

m.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/northern-ireland/chobham-street-bonfire-homes-evacuated-others-boarded-up-as-hour-of-the-towering-inferno-looms-31368379.html

council areas didnt used to be this bad - i grew up on a rough estate, but there was a sense of community and it was clean and people had a bit of pride. Buses run on time and there were lots of local shops and a post office. The local big town had plenty of nice shops. ok, the park was vandalised at times, but the council did used to fix things and there was even a play leader scheme in August and a park keeper. All gone now of course.
My dad still lives there and its changed a lot. fly tipping is the norm.

Local parks can't have nice flowers, because as soon as they are planted, someone steals them.

Prickly As for "why do the poor do it?" - well, the answer is, they don't. It's 5% maybe who make life fucking miserable for everyone else. But the thing about being poor is you can't escape.

So true. It's crap to be poor but a decent community member.

What I find really hard to understand is the mindless, pointless damage. I mean mugging someone, for example, has a point to it - you get their stuff. But people males actually put effort into doing utterly pointless unpleasant things. What are they getting out of it?

But the problem is that there wouldn't be a need to "escape" if people stopped making the areas worse. When I was brought up we didn't really feel we had anything to escape from other than wanting to have a few more things "inside" your house, there wasn't any issue with what was "outside". The parks all functioned and were well used because we had nothing in the house so were outside all the time. There just seems to be a general sense of entitlement and that it's someone else's responsibility to provide you with everything.