I asked my guest to leave my home.

[bubblesdrew]

We built a house a couple of fields away from some neighbours.

I met the husband at the local shop a couple of months after we got settled & after some chat asked if him and his wife would like to join us, friends & family for a New Years Eve dinner.

His wife and himself arrived that night and they were initially great. During conversation she asked for a tour of the house and I said no (not in a rude way). 20 minutes later she said again that she would like a tour of the house and again I said no. Then a THIRD time she asked and at that point my husband stepped in and said that there wouldn't be a tour.

She used the bathroom numerous times in the night which is located under the stairs. My niece was in our room at the top of the stairs past the closet which eventually leads into the master bedroom.

This woman had climbed the stairs later in the night when she asked to be excused for the bathroom went through my closet and into the master bedroom. My niece flew down and told my husband who marched upstairs and quietly asked her to leave. She claimed she was lost but, she had used the bottom bathroom all night!!
Should I have given her a tour or was she being completely unreasonable?

@NinonDeLenclos All close friends, family and neighbours. I think I would be more embarrassed if I was caught snooping around someone's house.

@Hatsoffdear Careful - they'll accuse you of having no friends and a cat that smells!

hatsoff wrong again, you are making a habit if this, but I suspect you are doing it on purpose. I can't see any other explanation.
Taking about decor, buying decor is v. boring. Looking round other people's houses interesting.

I think anyone would be embarrassed to be caught snooping. But I find your guest legging it upstairs highly entertaining, and that would be the light in which I would personally have dealt with the situation. Rather than po-facedly ordering them out of my house.

What I am struggling to understand though Op is this- if you are so precious about your house that it is only for your eyes and your DH's - why in god's name did you invite TOTAL strangers into it on NYE of all times?

If I was that odd about my home I'd have gone OUT to dinner. I mean, did it really never occur to you that they may have wanted to see inside this amazing house you've just built when you invited them, you know, actually into the house to eat?

Golden you have clearly met my cat

proper lighten up there I am sure you have a wonderful house and your social circle is indeed pea green with envy.

This is a whole other world so the code is invite guests for dinner and that’s the law for showing them your bed room!

So not the company or wine or conversation? Just the bedroom bathroom tour?

Are you sure you arnt a swinger?

Scots of MN, is it just me? Or is this another North/South cultural loose connection? No it isn't just you. I can't imagine not giving a tour. Do you remember a 'show of presents'? It's a different world. Great way to piss off your new neighbours. How unfriendly.

if your idea of a great dinner party is looking around each other’s pretty normal houses and talking decor all night and clearly all competing to have the best house in the group, because obviously that’s what this is about then, what a shallow bore fest of an evening.

Except it's been repeatedly explained that it's not like that at all.

There are a lot of socially awkward people on mumsnet, many threads from people who neither like to be a guest or have them, who won't host, who don't even answer their doors, some even lock their bedroom door in their own home, one poster on here locks all her upstairs doors when she has guests, others live in terrible disarray and filth and openly discuss it on here, and some have no friends or social circle, so I can see why the thought of having friends round to your new house and being asked to show them round would be horrifyingly incomprehensible for some people.

Agreed. It's actually very interesting.

But the explanation has been given.

It's odd that after so many explanations from so many different people, some posters still cannot comprehend the practice. It is persistently referred to in terms of invasion, privilege, showing off and competition. Any other interpretation seems to be completely off the map and unimaginable.

wombling a lot of people invite people over for dinner to get to know them, make friends - and a lot of people don't expect these guests to treat your home like a museum, desperately asking for tours and a lot of people wouldn't expect a guest to barge on upstairs into your bedroom when your back is turned just because you invited them to dinner

It's the complete opposite of hyacinth bucket!!
Numerous posters have explained it - it's not in the least bit show-offy, it's just the norm

It's extremely Hyacinth Bucket actually. Unless the house is of historical or architectural note it's the epitome of Hyacinth Bucket. Whether it's the norm depends on your social circle.

Reminds me of the couple who invited friends and relatives to their housewarming party in the house they'd designed and overseen themselves.
It wasn't until they tried to take their guests upstairs that they realised they'd forgotten to include a staircase in their plans. The builders were so used to using the scaffolding, they hadn't noticed.

Perhaps your guest was merely checking for you?

You can be sure the whole village knows by now. Yup

Ninon How many times will you keep missing the point - we all get you like to give tours, give them, enjoy. Try to understand there are people who think that this is odd for themselves and their home who aren't automatically social noobs or privacy obsessed

dexra don't worry, I'm from the south and don't know anyone who wouldn't be happy to take a new friend on a tour of their house or show old friends their new house. It's just friendly. I really can't imagine why anyone would be so 'defensive' about the privacy of their homes after they have chosen to invite people in it to have dinner.
it's saying " we might like you enough to feed you but we don't like enough to show you our house. Stay in the rooms we think you belong in".
I can't be doing with people like that, far too uptight.

It's extremely Hyacinth Bucket actually. Unless the house is of historical or architectural note it's the epitome of Hyacinth Bucket. Whether it's the norm depends on your social circle.

Did you actually bother to read the countless posts from completely normal, non show-offy, non social-climbery, the antithesis of hyacinth types for whom it's the normal state of affairs?!

Where I come from it's completely normal - no 'of historical or architectural note' in my area or amongst my friends & family - just completely non showy & normal houses.

In fact, the phrase 'of historical or architectural note' when referring to houses is a bit Hyacinth tbh. A bit too try hard

I really can't imagine why anyone would be so 'defensive' about the privacy of their homes after they have chosen to invite people in it to have dinner.

Because it's a private sanctuary properlavs

Clearly it is a private sanctuary!! Don't invite people into your private sanctuary and then get pissed off that they are there, just don't invite them in the first place.

I'm starting to get a sense that OP invited the strangers over for NYE in some sort of noblesse oblige / Manor House invites its tenants sort of way

But like others have said, her version of events is the one they'll all hear about in the post office

Hatsoffdear. You are so deliciously aggrieved by all of this. Why let it bother you so much? Maybe you should change your name to Calmdowndear

It's a all a bit know yer place for me - you MAY come into my dining room....but OMG you may NOT see the living room, serfscum!!!

Invite round and show round or don't.

Simple.

Rude not to give a tour?!! How ridiculous. No one expects to have to show strangers round their entire house at a moment's notice! I would have died of embarrassment. What a rude, unpleasant woman.

You need a search warrant to get in my bedroom.

Or hung like a horse and a millionaire to get in mine