I asked my guest to leave my home.

[bubblesdrew]

We built a house a couple of fields away from some neighbours.

I met the husband at the local shop a couple of months after we got settled & after some chat asked if him and his wife would like to join us, friends & family for a New Years Eve dinner.

His wife and himself arrived that night and they were initially great. During conversation she asked for a tour of the house and I said no (not in a rude way). 20 minutes later she said again that she would like a tour of the house and again I said no. Then a THIRD time she asked and at that point my husband stepped in and said that there wouldn't be a tour.

She used the bathroom numerous times in the night which is located under the stairs. My niece was in our room at the top of the stairs past the closet which eventually leads into the master bedroom.

This woman had climbed the stairs later in the night when she asked to be excused for the bathroom went through my closet and into the master bedroom. My niece flew down and told my husband who marched upstairs and quietly asked her to leave. She claimed she was lost but, she had used the bottom bathroom all night!!
Should I have given her a tour or was she being completely unreasonable?

you built a house but you didnt want to show it off?
odd

is it crap?

She was rude, but isn't it the done thing when you've built a house / had work done on your house and the neighbours come over? Certainly what happens round here.

Surely you just had to explain that your niece was asleep up there if you really didn't want to show here around?

"For those who say it’s nornal.... it really isn’t"

What a staggeringly small-minded thing to say. Just because something is outside of your own small experience does not make it abnormal. I'm quite prepared to believe that in some circles this isn't the done thing, but equally, it's surely abundantly clear from this thread that a tour is absolutely the Done Thing in all sorts of places!

WTF is wrong with some of you?! The OP was not rude in any way, saying no to a tour.

I grew up in an environment of 'showing guests the house' and as a teenager I felt my space to be so invaded. I hated it.

I never let anyone into my bedroom now unless there's a damn good reason to now.

The only people who'd ever get a tour of any house of ours, would be a) estate agent/viewers of a house we were selling, or b) family/close friends, of a house we'd recently bought.

i am not tidy, and would recoil at the thought of anyone relatively random wanting a good old nose around. I once had a German couple on the doorstep, wanting to look around the house they'd rented many years before. Thank heaven I was actually on my way out at the time, and in a tearing hurry, so no lying excuse needed.

If I'd built a house it would be so I had a nice place to live myself, not so I could become a tour guide and show it off to people.

If it's only a couple of fields from them, the building of your house probably causes them disruption and noise and planning uncertainty. Under hose circumstances I can understand a little why she felt so vested in the outcome and wanted to see what had caused her all the noise and diggers and has quite possibly placed a blot on her landscap view. Is that possible?

I can’t get my head around anyone caring a shiny shite about anyone’s house.

Bedroom, en suite, kitchen blah blah!

Stately home maybe.

Honestly, I blame Grand Designs. Just cause you’ve built it yourself doesn’t mean you want people tramping around the place asking you about reclaimed flagstone and colour palettes.

Interesting to see such polarised opinions on this thread though. Funny what MN throws up sometimes!

(Whatever the reason, strategic error to make gem leave on NYE because even if you weren't talk of he neighbourhood for destroying the landscape with your monstrosity/ having blocked everyone's path with diggers / being blow ins, you will be now for being hostile on NYE - her version of events will get to the school gate / post office / feed merchant before yours)

Who gives a fuck about a random house unless it’s of historic interest.

Me. And presumably loads and loads of other people otherwise shows like Grand Designs wouldn't be so popular?

Tours are normal and expected where I live/in my circles.

I think the guest was reasonable to ask for a tour but unreasonable to ask 3 times and then take herself off for a tour. However, although I dont think you've been unreasonable, I do think you sound too up tight to be a good friend of mine. Which is fine as everyone's different and has to find their own tribe. At least in this case, you've found out earlier rather than later that your neighbour is not one of your tribe.

I can't believe what a hard time the OP is getting on here.

She invited them for drinks, not a tour of the house.

I don't offer tours of my house either as it is my private space. Anyone who hit went off and explored it by themselves would also be asked to leave.

Nor do I expect tours of other people's houses when I visit. Expecting one and asking for one is just bloody rude.

Honestly, I blame Grand Designs

No... tours definitely came first!

A tour of your house???
Do you live in a stately home ?

Mumsnet. Where posters are told constantly that 'no is a complete sentence', until someone uses no as a complete sentence and then they are rude.

THAT.

I love how illogical MN can be. It seems to get worse atm.

And even if it was ‘rude’ to say NO to the request of a house tour, asking TWICE more AND then going for a peek anyway and through my closet and into the master bedroom as per OP is much much ruder!!

Even if it’s the done thing where you live or in your circles (that the Op doesn’t know as she has just moved in btw)

WTF is wrong with some of you?! The OP was not rude in any way, saying no to a tour.

No, it’s the way she said it that was rude.

Given that it's a new house that you built yourselves/had specifically built for you, it's not remotely surprising she wanted a tour and she probably thought you a bit weird for being so adamant you didn't want to show her anything. However, having been told no, she was astonishingly rude to sneak around it herself.

This thread is hilarious. I see lots of people thinking their houses are interesting and worthy of a tour guide while dragging bored guests to see their en suite.

Fuck me a dinner party is about the food, conversation and company not having to admire someone’s random bog however wonderful.

My house is usually pretty clean and tidy and I'd be happy to have visitors wander around at a drop of a hat but I'd want a little bit of warning before taking people around the upstairs especially if I was showing a nosy neighbour a neighbour I didn't know well around.

Do all the tour givers keep their houses tour ready at all times?

Mumsnet.

Where even answering a phone is a dreadful imposition, answering a doorbell is the most horrible intrusion, and if a tradesman needs to use your downstairs loo the only proportionate response is to take off and nuke the neighbourhood from orbit.

Conversely, if you invite somebody for dinner, what you are in fact consenting to is a full-spectrum inspection of every private cranny of your entire house.

song

hilarious thread.

You can easily just decline a request with a simple 'no' and do it politely. The OP said she didn't lie or make an excuse but that doesn't mean she wasn't polite.

'Oh, I'm sorry, I really don't want to do that just now'.

Polite and clear. It's much better than making up fake excuses and lying to people.

I know a couple of people who like a tour of other peoples houses. When asked I have just laughed and said "oooh no, its a tip upstairs!!"