to ask you to PLEASE teach your children about autism

[CrochetBelle]

Apparently 'autistic' is now being used as an insult by teenagers - who really should know better.

Do your children know what autism is? Autism is not 'sitting in a corner rocking'. Autism is not 'Sheldon Cooper'. Autism is a whole spectrum and affects people to varying degrees. It does affect people though. There is no such thing as mild autism.

Schools are continuously waving the 'autism accredited' flag these days, with mandatory training on ASD. Don't get me wrong, that's great progress, but when you ask them what they are teaching the children? Nothing.

There is a whole host of accurate, reliable information out there about autism, and what it means. Please make sure your children are aware. Ignorance is no excuse.

Racist and homophobic slurs were still used as insults when I was at school in 2011

I left sixth-form in 2012 so will be one of the youngest MN users on this thread. I'm an ethnic minority, gender & sexual minority, and I'm disabled - I have Asperger's Syndrome and a significant anxiety disorder that I've pretty much had ever since I realised I was 'different' to my NT peers in primary school, and previously have had chronic depression which ranged from mild to severe.

In 2012 when I was still at school, it was very, very rare to hear a racist or homophobic slur in my school or amongst my friends/peers in other nearby schools, and when they were heard we all came down on them like a ton of bricks, including school staff if it was during school (or sometimes outside of it, notably on the internet). I think this stuff depends a lot on the culture of the school you go to and even the place where you live - I come from a large, diverse city with a proud history of large pride parades and anti-racism. I'm not saying it never happens here but certaintly by the time I was in sixth-form it was not regarded as acceptable by any significant amount of my peers and we were good at clamping it out, and staff supported us in doing that. It's now 2018 so I would be dismayed to hear that other schools were still regularly having racist/homophobic slurs slung around and not being addressed correctly.

I was bullied as a teenager between the ages of about 12 and 15 ostensibly because I was not heterosexual but this was coloured by a lot of ableist bullying too, despite the fact that at the time I had no ASD diagnosis yet. I was not diagnosed until I was in university. Sometimes I do use the word mild to describe myself in certain contexts when I think about people with classical autism and also even certain people I know who have Asperger's / HFA who appear to function less well than me - I mean, I'm married, have pets, work a full-time job, graduated with a first-class honours degree, I left home at 18 and lived semi-independently for a year before then living with DH ever since, I'm pregnant etc. I have a close friend with Asperger's who also describes herself as 'mild' sometimes in relation to other of her siblings who again appear to function less well (again she works FT, has a degree, is happily married, owns her own home etc). So there are definitely people on the spectrum who describe themselves sometimes as having 'mild' autism. If you think about it 'High Functioning Autism' is a common diagnostic label and I think that's basically a posher way of saying 'Mild Autism' anyway. But clearly aside from ourselves as autistic people describing our own experiences or aside from medical experts involved in our care, it would not be appropriate for anyone else to use those terms to describe other people in a minimising sort of way.

www.achievingwithautism.co.uk/

I honestly don't think attempting to educate people will help. Some people simply don't care. You can talk about something until you're blue in the face but if it doesn't affect someone directly they often just don't care. Children/teenagers in particular!

God forbid we expect parents to pass on decent values to their children.

Op, maybe the thread title should be about teaching ADULTS about disabilities, its them that need the education, then they can each their children.

adults are worse than the kids.

Hats Yes, exactly. And people start up these discussions in front of my children - with no thought to the fact that they are right there listening. When my ds was in a wheelchair (thankfully, we've progressed out of it now,with careful management), we used to have people stand right there in front of him and ask me "Why is he in a wheelchair? What's WRONG with him?" These are adults, mind you. Not children. We have had people question why they are sitting in the disabled seats on the bus (they both have physical disabilities as well that makes it difficult for them to stand on the bus and tube). We have had people shout at them for making noise out in public, when the shouter actually made more noise than my dcs did to begin with.

Perhaps if these people had been educated as children (and then passed that education on to their children), things would improve.

Notreallyarsed... Just seen your other comments..don't need to tell you how I educate my kids right from wrong. It's a given. Had lots of conversations with my kids about disablist thanks very much and talked to them often about why it's wrong etc...don't need to so much anymore as it's a given. They know it. Do yours?

@TabbyMumz you actually believe all that don’t you? Calling me a bully because you don’t like what I’m saying is utterly ridiculous. You haven’t once said you want it to change except in that post. You’ve repeatedly said you don’t want your children affected by it in school, and also said that it’s just what teenagers do.

However you are perfectly entitled to your opinion. You’re just wrong.

Wow TabbyMumz it takes real skill to completely disregard the experiences of children with autism and their parents on this thread, including being bullied, ostracised and unable to access school at all, and turn yourself into the victimised. Well done.

Have simply said if their school time keeps getting chipped away at

This keeps coming up. As if they need to set aside half an hour a week to discuss how to be human.

In the Scottish curriculum there is an element called “responsible citizen” it goes through everything they do in schools. They don’t have classes in it but it forms part of class discussions and what they learn in other subjects. It really isn’t difficult for schools to include this kind of thing without taking time away from core subjects.

@TabbyMumz you have the cheek to tell me to read the thread and then ask if my children know what disablism is? Fuck me, have you read anything I’ve written? Yes they know, because mothers and fathers of children don’t take any fucking responsibility for their actions and the impact happens to my children. So yes, they know.

notsohippychick but then people tend to think they can't interact socially with people or have screaming fits in railway stations (thanks so much Rainman ).

And also Tabby if you are already teaching your children not to be disablist then this thread doesn't really apply to you anyway, so what is your issue? Because even if your children are taught this stuff there are others who won't be which is why the suggestion of educating in schools comes in.

that's your opinion, you can't change mine

And there it is.

I don't think autism-related language is going to change tbh. My DS is autistic, and I think he identifies with some of the 4chan-type stuff ('autism intensifies' when doing stereotypically ultra-analytical things)

And I seriously doubt that anybody showing such contempt for the needs of others has actually taught their children anything about it.

Notreallyarsed...you clearly haven't read all my posts. Have said right from the beginning that we can do lots outside of school that can be more effective. Did you not see them?! Shame on you.

Stitch. No-one has disregarded the experiences of children with autism. Especially not me. That's exactly what I mean by people twisting things. Not true. At all. Disengenuous of you to say so.

Notreallyarsed... You accused me first?!

Stitch...I haven't shown contempt for the needs of others. Anywhere!!

@TabbyMumz good grief, I’m done. As you said, I can’t change your opinion. I’m also not prepared to engage with someone making very little sense and playing the victim.

Yes you have. You have been told by more than one poster that bullying is directly impacting on their child's ability to either access school or the curriculum and that addressing these issues within the school setting could help. Your only concern is that the academic timetable not be disrupted. If that isn't disregarding then what is?

pisacake, that's really interesting. Because much of the 4Channy stuff is in a way rather like the way black people have reclaimed the 'n' word. Because it does tend to have a lot of people with autism on there doesn't it? With the whole hacking aspect. I know in several cases where people with autism/aspergers have been accused of computer related crimes links to 4Chan have been in the background.

Stitch...this thread applies to everyone. Can't we teach this out of school?! Do you really think we can't?! There are lots of possibilities of how it can be done. I just don't think it's best use of our kids time in school.

I haven't read all posts yet but...
My DB was diagnosed with Aspergers (as it was then) when he was an early teen. My DN is currently on the waiting list with the mental health team for an assessment, luckily now at 13 she has an OT but that took years and years (all through primary school) of my DS asking for help, reports and referrals and literally nothing happening until she hit secondary last year and a different teacher highlighting issues that primary wouldn't take seriously (leaving primary still working at year 2 level - teacher saying she will 'just catch up' when she got there)).
I have in the past month been on three ASC training days through work. One general ASC one and the other for forensic risk in ASC and early childhood experiences. All extremely interesting but none of it was really enough and I feel I have just skimmed the surface.
There are many publications, The Reason I Jump being one of the most popular. I am going to watch 'Temple Granding - My Life in Pictures' which has been highly recommended.

There are so many elements to autism. So many things people can do. Talk direct, straightforward language. Say what you mean. Limit distractions. Write instruction down. Do what you say you will do. Don't interrupt routine unnecessarily. Many, many things that help EVERYONE, not just people with autism.

Obscured

Oh no, I'm so sorry, that wasn't what I was trying to say at all. I absolutely don't think that way. When I said 'mild' I meant that it still affects them, just that the individual experiencing it may feel it's not impacting their life horrendously, not that they were for all intents and purposes NT. I also said I don't think it's fair for people to label other people autism in this way, I just felt there may be some people with autism who would feel this way.

I guess I'm looking at this through a certain context. As said, I'm seeing various health professionals for something else, but through talking about my life/past/mysterious mind() etc, autism has been mentioned to me. However, I disagree with the possibility, as I feel although I may have some traits commonly associated with ASD, that I'm not autistic. This was only two weeks ago and I haven't been back as I feel they have misunderstood me. But, then again as I was reading this thread I started to think what if they were right? I'm not NT regardless, but I don't think any traits I have that could be linked to autism have impacted me in a huge way, so I guess I was wondering if I I did have autism would I be someone who felt the way I have described?

That was a bit rambly I think but I hope that puts my questions into perspective. I'm sorry.

Well Tabby luckily people can read your posts so denying stuff that you have physically typed is a bit pointless really.