to ask you to PLEASE teach your children about autism

[CrochetBelle]

Apparently 'autistic' is now being used as an insult by teenagers - who really should know better.

Do your children know what autism is? Autism is not 'sitting in a corner rocking'. Autism is not 'Sheldon Cooper'. Autism is a whole spectrum and affects people to varying degrees. It does affect people though. There is no such thing as mild autism.

Schools are continuously waving the 'autism accredited' flag these days, with mandatory training on ASD. Don't get me wrong, that's great progress, but when you ask them what they are teaching the children? Nothing.

There is a whole host of accurate, reliable information out there about autism, and what it means. Please make sure your children are aware. Ignorance is no excuse.

Thanks Notreally his experience of mainstream was woeful all round including teachers sadly. I'm about to start the gruelling process of applying for a specialist school that has recently opened nearby but if that doesn't happen I'm stuck. He's high school age in less than 2 yesrs and not a chance am I subjecting him to that! Hope things go well for your DD.

I think though part of the problem starts in places like here. If someone describes a situation, then it's frequently a comment "oh they might have autism" and also people do bandy about "I think I (they) might be autistic"... often as a flip comment-a bit like the "oh I've cleaned my kitchen again, I'm a bit OCD about it".
That is the children's equivalent to it.

If we want children to learn that it isn't to be used in that way then as adults we should be leading with being thoughtful about how we use it.

But I do also agree about educating them in all disabled language. It isn't limited to just people with autism.
Dd2 is disabled and we've had issues with a particular child in the year using it against her. Her parents responded with "but it's true (it wasn't) and now everyone's saying she's been nasty and it's not fair on her". The words "hoist on own petard may have sprung to mind, but that is often the attitude.. "it's factual, so we can't do anything."

I think the reason autism is more in the mainstream now is that diagnostics and support is significantly improved from 30 years ago.

Yes I agree, but we're still in a position where most adults need to catch up with it as a disability, rather than autism being an unecessary label, or children just being naughty etc, so disablism wrt autism is still acceptable to too many people.

@stitchglitched I hope the new School has a place for your son, and that things get easier for you both! Thank you, it’s not until August she goes so I’m hoping that with dance classes (I hate it but she loves it) and kids clubs in our new (we just moved) area she’ll make friends.

@CloudPerson I completely agree.

It's not that people don't understand, they just don't care

Then make them care. Instead of allowing them to make other people’s lives difficult, make theirs difficult until they stop being arseholes.

Yeah hit them where it hurts. They might not care about using disablist insults but I bet they care about their social media, their social life, allowance. I would rather other kids weren't unkind to mine because they were decent human beings but I'd take them not doing it because they'd been grounded or had their phone removed if it meant they left him the hell alone.

@stitchglitched aye me too.

It's not that people don't understand, they just don't care. I didn't as a teenager. No many teenager will.

Surely that tells you they need to educated younger then. So that by the time they're teenagers, it's well ingrained that this language is unacceptable.

stitch me too.

Can I ask do programmes like ‘big bang’ hinder understanding?

stitch it must be incredibly hard for your family

I haven’t seen Big Bang but I think stereotypes of any kind definitely hinder understanding.

Hats sometimes. Some people think if they see one portrayal of someone with autism that EVERYONE with autism must be that way. I am incredibly tired of Rainman comments directed towards my ds.

Crochet...what an awful thing to say and such a massive misinterpretation of what I've been saying. Where on earth have I said that I believe teaching my children to not be disablist is not as important as getting their GCSE's?! Show me where?! You can't, because I clear haven't said that. At all. I would love them to do both. Have simply said if their school time keeps getting chipped away at, it will effect their GCSE's and the other academic stuff they need to learn. Education is continuous and they can learn a lot outside of school too. Of course I realise I can teach my child stuff at home. And I have done. But I can't teach chemistry or physics or maths, and that's why I need highly qualified and educated teachers to do that at school!!!! Please don't say now what's your excuse?! I'm continually teaching my children right from wrong. How dare you say otherwise.

People think they understand ASD because of programs like that, when they don't.
But IMO it's the same as people reading one article on ASD and basing their expertise on that.
In reality it's different for everyone, and plenty of parents of autistic children will pipe up that something's "not autism" because their child doesn't present like that, so there needs to be more understanding all round.

Yes can see that Ginger like the ‘what’s he good at’

And yes stereotypes are unhelpful can see that too.

Have simply said if their school time keeps getting chipped away at, it will effect their GCSE's and the other academic stuff they need to learn.

Because a 30 minute discussion over the course of an entire school year will utterly derail their GCSEs.

Are you aware that the effects of this behaviour towards children with disabilities can chip away a lot more time throughout the year as they struggle to cope and then cannot access the curriculum at all??

Don't you think 30 minutes is worth it if it means that it benefits all the children in the school? Think of the friendships, the shared experiences, the maturity and compassion gained alone that will benefit them all for the rest of their lives.....

But hey, yeah... what about GCSEs....

It's pretty depressing that this thread is so long... Surely the only correct response is "Yes, we should teach our children about autism." And then perhaps asking for ways to do so. Not all this bickering about whether we should. Why on earth wouldn't you teach your children about a disability that affects people around them?

There’s a saying, once you’ve met one autistic person you’ve met one autistic person. I’m autistic, all 3 of my kids are and my dad. It doesn’t mean I know everything about autism, it means I know about how it presents and affects my family.

I’m all for more understanding, of each other in general as well as specifically, it would just make the world a nicer place to be.

@TabbyMumz you’ve repeatedly said you don’t want your children’s education to be taken up with teaching about autism in schools, and in many, many comments haven’t once said you would do it at home. You’ve said that it’s what happens and you’re being realistic. Not once anywhere have you said you’d challenge it, educate or come down hard on disablism.

Skadespelerskorna

Sorry, I'm not intending to be offensive, I just genuinely didn't understand

Not all disabilities impact people emotionally/mentally/socially/physically the same way... so I'm not sure why you keep repeating to me that it's a disability as if I'm unaware

You're not being offensive, but my understanding of your posts is that you do post as though you believe autism can be so mild in some individuals that it never impacts their life in the slightest and they are to all intents and purposes NT and think and behave like NTs. i.e. you appear to be saying some people can have autism but it doesn't affect them at all.

That's why I'm banging on about it being a disability. It seriously impacts peoples' lives. Every autistic person I'm in contact with, and some work full time in highly paid jobs, would never describe their autism as mild.

No many teenager will.
Wrong. Many teenagers do. At least, the ones who have been raised correctly do. I meet a whole lot of teenagers who. And despite hearing here that a whole bunch of offensive language was common amongst teenagers in the 80s, it definitely wasn’t common amongst my friends and it wasn’t something I heard often either. So to say it’s inevitable and teenagers don’t care is just not true.

Notreallyarsed....that's your opinion, you can't change mine. Oh and what you are doing here....on this thread...it's called bullying....not allowing people to have an opinion, making stuff up, trying to turn people on other people. That's all the stuff I teach my kids not to do...outside of school....oh and that's what I've been saying about being realistic. You cannot change. Please don't twist my words anymore. You need to read a full thread and think about what people are saying overall, not trying to pick out bits you don't like and make out it means something else. My bottom line is, yes it's terrible, yes, I'd like it to change, please don't take any more time out of my kids school day.

But why the disablist language now amongst teens?

It's not just disablist, it's sexist & racist language too in the places it originates from. It's a subculture reaction which is pretty damn unsurprising.

We live in a culture where language is hyper policed for offence. Every day you have some idiot who's been sounding off about the latest triviality they've decided to be offended about. Like describing bras as being for girls or saying men can't get pregnant or worrying whether Sleeping Beauty should be banned as it promotes rape culture, or somebody going into paroxysms of abuse because someone ponders if they might not vote for Jeremy Corbyn or if they think Brexit/Remain etc, etc is a good idea.

For every action there is a reaction. And a sizeable minority of young people seem to be reacting to this hyper vigilance of their language by using the most offensive terms possible and making it very clear they don't care if anyone finds it offensive.

It's an interesting paradox that to me suggests the importance of keeping your powder dry. Some things really are extremely hurtful and nasty and shouldn't be done. Like mocking people for a disability.

But I think when you live in a world where every utterance is policed for potential offence, a lot of people really can lose sight of where that line is. If young people are constantly being told that the most mudane or normal things are offensive (bras are made for women) then when we're telling them that some things like mocking disability really are fucking offensive, that message has lost most of its power.

My sons primary held this workshop in year 5 which I think was helpful. Luckily my DS has never had his autism diagnosis used as an insult against him (he has had trouble socially but after year 3 his classmates got used to his ways and he has friends now). Secondary school terrifies me tbh. My DD is in year 8 and the things she tells me about how the kids treat each other and those who she think have SN in particular make even her worry about when he starts next Sept. Unfortunately he can't get an EHCP as he doesn't really struggle so he has to go mainstream and this is the only school that had a decent SEND dept nearby. I just pray the kids aren't horrible to him or I'll be homeschooling which we can't really afford. It's shit that our families have to be put in this situation. I've somehow managed to bring my kids up to not be nasty to others and I'm far from the perfect parent. Not sure why others can't do the same. Often they pick up the language from their families in the first place though. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.