to ask you to PLEASE teach your children about autism

[CrochetBelle]

Apparently 'autistic' is now being used as an insult by teenagers - who really should know better.

Do your children know what autism is? Autism is not 'sitting in a corner rocking'. Autism is not 'Sheldon Cooper'. Autism is a whole spectrum and affects people to varying degrees. It does affect people though. There is no such thing as mild autism.

Schools are continuously waving the 'autism accredited' flag these days, with mandatory training on ASD. Don't get me wrong, that's great progress, but when you ask them what they are teaching the children? Nothing.

There is a whole host of accurate, reliable information out there about autism, and what it means. Please make sure your children are aware. Ignorance is no excuse.

Notreallyarsed, thanks. I think it is brilliant and probably due to the fact she was bullied herself so doesn't stand for it. She did get alot of hassle initially but standing watching bullying is pretty bad in itself.

I completely agree, standing up for people is a fantastic value to instil in children, and a good tool they can use throughout their lives. Inaction is as insidious as bullying imo.

Also, it's not just about teaching children not to name call.

It's teaching everyone awareness. There are simple steps people could take that might just make some else's life easier. Things like it may take someone with autism longer to process what you have said so give them more time.

It's about allowing people to be themselves and feel safe without judgement.

Which is exactly why it does need to be tackled in schools as well as at home, because some parents can’t be arsed, or won’t take responsibility or just don’t give a shit, like the mother of the boy who forced us to sell up and leave the area to keep my son safe.

That is a great system granny. It must help solve some of the issue of the children who quietly watch and then also agree with whatever is the path of least resistance when it comes to giving evidence.

I know ds problems would at least half of this system was in place.

Wow. First can I say thanks for the support shown here by many of you, it's most appreciated.

Secondly (and probably more importantly tbh), I'll apologise to @steppemum for my comment. As suspected by some, it was designed to highlight the double standards as to what is widely acceptable behaviour and speech towards some, but not others. (children in general vs. children with disabilities). It was, however, unnecessary, and unkind, and despite your graciousness, unacceptable of me. (May I point out that I am making this apology and acknowledgement off my own back - at no point has it been requested MNHQ or others).

Based on the 'rather a lot of reports' and the specific comments that MNHQ say have been raised, I think it's likely and obvious that this is a targeted issue against what I am trying to say, rather than what I have specifically said. That makes me feel very sad. I, like others, thought this thread was going really well, that most people were listening and understanding (I certainly keep in mind one post which highlighted something I do out of thoughtlessness that I will be actively trying to change), and would hope that in the long term our message will not be lost. If even one parent reads this thread then later checks what their child knows about autism - and indeed other invisible conditions - then I call that a win. And I will keep chipping away at it. As an autistic parent to two autistic children, I need to. The thought of a world where no-one is willing to stand up and challenge this disablism is one I won't tolerate.

I would love to think that this thread highlights to MNHQ the need to do something, and the fight that we go through constantly, to have our voices heard and to really just exist in a world where people think we don't belong. If MNHQ were willing to get behind us and work with us, we could reach more people, and hopefully make a bigger impact. Please don't let campaigns such as 'This Is My Child' be the end of the line, there is still so much work to do.

Welcome back @CrochetBelle!

I think you’re right, that autism is seen as the easy target for goady or nasty posters, especially on here as it goes largely unchecked by MNHQ. But there is work to do and we’ll keep chipping away until we and our children are heard.

zzzzz and Notreallyarsed, I hope it helps.

@grannytomine your DD sounds ace btw.

Notreallyarsed, thank you, I agree but I know I'm biased.

If she was any of my bairns’ teacher I’d be well chuffed! DS1 has a teacher who is big on responsibility and social justice and she’s ace too (he’s had a couple of shit ones up to now and don’t even start me on the headteacher, every time she says inclusion it makes my teeth clench because she uses it as a buzz word but doesn’t actually do anything!)

I am a huge believer that teachers can change the future, a good, committed, inspirational teacher will mould a child’s outlook and approach to life.

You are right good teachers are priceless, shame there aren't more of them.

I agree! DS1s old headteacher who was pushed out when the School amalgamated with another was absolutely incredible, she changed our lives and made the most enormous difference. I was devastated to see her go, but we’ve kept in touch.

This has turned into a very positive thread, Notreallyarsed I bet she loves hearing from you, I know my DD loves to hear about her old pupils.

It has hasn’t it? And I’m glad. Too often the focus is on negativity but bar a couple of posters the majority seem to be up for change and acceptance which is massive!

We’ve definitely got a strong bond, we spent so long fighting together for what DS1 needed it forged a very strong friendship!

Isn't this more about teaching children to be kind and accepting of all?

welcome back crochet belle!
thank you for your apology, not needed, but much appreciated

This thread ahs been a good learning experience.
I am particularly shocked by the truly dreadful response of some of the schools mentioned, and it makes me really sad.

I am not always a fan of inclusive education (as I think it is often an excuse to under resource special needs education) but the one thing it has should have done is to teach our children that all children are different, and have different needs and are equally valued. In my dcs primary I found it really positive to see genuine working together and friendships of all children regardless of their specific needs. Children are not inherently disablist/racist etc

One pp spoke about the secondary where, as a result of the way the school dealt with issues arising it became not cool for the kids to name call, and it was the peer group pressure NOT to do it which worked.

Which makes it all the worse when you hear of experiences like crochetbelle's and her kids

grannytomine - your dd sounds lovely.

That is a conversation ds and I have had a lot over the years. There is a strong 'Don't snitch' vibe amongst the boys in his school, and I have been unpicking it with him over and over since year 7.

I know ds picked it up from a group of horrible boys back in year 5, and we have been undoing it ever since. As he has got older I think he has understood it better. I still have to challenge him on it occasionally though. It usually comes up in relation to things like so and so are planning a fight after school, or so and so was planning to run away from home, but didn't, rather than in relation to bullying, but it is part of the same continuum.

I don't think inclusive education is the problem / it's that school misinterpret it's meaning and use.

It's not about all children having access to the same opportunities. It's about every child having barriers removed to allow them to access to things they want to be included in.

Gat too often children with sensory difficulties etc are 'forced' to attend difficult environments because "we include everyone".
What should happen is the child should be able to decide if is something they can attempt with reasonable adjustments (ear defenders/ staff member so they can leave if needs be/aisle seat).

I think the problem with inclusive education is that all too often it’s just words. If it were truly inclusive in every way, its a great idea. If it’s a publicity stunt that gets trotted out to make the school look good but isn’t backed up by actions it’s awful.

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can kill me

^^THiS. This is what DC and I get almost daily for being disabled and in DCS case, autistic.

AT breaking point.