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to ask you to PLEASE teach your children about autism

408 replies

CrochetBelle · 02/01/2018 10:34

Apparently 'autistic' is now being used as an insult by teenagers - who really should know better.

Do your children know what autism is? Autism is not 'sitting in a corner rocking'. Autism is not 'Sheldon Cooper'. Autism is a whole spectrum and affects people to varying degrees. It does affect people though. There is no such thing as mild autism.

Schools are continuously waving the 'autism accredited' flag these days, with mandatory training on ASD. Don't get me wrong, that's great progress, but when you ask them what they are teaching the children? Nothing.

There is a whole host of accurate, reliable information out there about autism, and what it means. Please make sure your children are aware. Ignorance is no excuse.

OP posts:
TheDailyMailIsADisgustingRag · 02/01/2018 11:05

I remember people calling each other gay and retards when I was at university.

Fucking disgraceful tbh. I always trot this out on here, but I knew a student who used to clutch her pearls at swearing, especially the word cunt, but always, ALWAYS called people regards and giggled when I pulled her up on it. I felt like smacking her tbh.

Aaaaaanyway, yanbu about the disablist language. It’s vile.

GingerIvy · 02/01/2018 11:05

CrochetBelle Exactly. Poof! Like it never happened, right?

zzzzz · 02/01/2018 11:05

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TabbyMumz · 02/01/2018 11:06

Ginger.....I wish it would stop (name calling)...but no matter how much time you are going to take out of the school day and take time from kids doing their GCSE's etc...realistically I don't think it's going to stop. That was my point. No it isn't right. It isn't right at all, but there are other ways to try and put a dent in it. Overall awareness of all disabilities perhaps....on the TV, or social media. Don't take away from their school time to teach them about one particular condition, when they probably have a lot of experience from sitting next to a child with autism for the last four years or so anyway. You are unfortunately never going to stop name-calling. It's there, it's always going to be there. That doesn't mean it's ok to continue, it's making an observation and being realistic.

Eltonjohnssyrup · 02/01/2018 11:07

Just to echo zzzzz, you clearly haven't been on 4Chan. If niggers and whores is the worst insults you can think of them five minutes on 4Chan would give you apoplexy.

In fact, when they get wind of this thread they will be rubbing their hands in glee. It's upsetting exactly the sort of people it was intended to.

And I can 100% guarantee you not one of them would care what their mothers had to say about it.

EleanorXx · 02/01/2018 11:09

GingerIvy I have asd, I know how fustrating it is. I’m not saying it’s ok, but it happens. When I was a child we had talks about how homophobic we were being using the term gay as an insult, yet we didn’t stop using it. I look back and cringe at how stupid and insulting we were being, but couldn’t see that in the moment. It’s wrong and hurtful but very hard to stop.

grannytomine · 02/01/2018 11:11

Not being disablist is good but maybe teaching them to be generally tolerant would be better. I got it for being ginger, not a disability but you get lots of stick about it even into my 40s and 50s, my DD got it for being a "swot" or "goody goody" and my son for his horrendous acne and I regret that I worried for so long about roaccutane. I always referred to Bambi (the film, think it was thumper who said it) with my kids, "If you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all."

EleanorXx · 02/01/2018 11:12

zzzzz I mean people 4chan are the scum of the earth, and won’t stop because there parents told them too.

zzzzz · 02/01/2018 11:13

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Eltonjohnssyrup · 02/01/2018 11:16

No zzzzzz, you're completely misunderstanding because you don't know what 4Chan is.

4Chan is basically a no holds barred website where most of the posters are as deliberately offensive as possible and get off on offending people. They create and spread offensive memes and sayings deliberately to cause offence and it spreads amongst the sort of young people who would enjoy thinking they were doing something so offensive and edgy it upset Mumsnet.

The type of hissy fit you're having on this thread is basically their wet dream of a response and exactly the sort of thing they like to create. You're falling into their trap basically.

It is offensive. But I'm not under any illusions that a thread on Mumsnet being upset about it is going to do anything other than give them and the sort of people who use that language peak satisfaction and make it all the more attractive to them.

TabbyMumz · 02/01/2018 11:16

Forkandles.....point is not irrelevant at all. Children get bullied for all those conditions. A child I know with diabetes gets treated terribly at school. My point was, is it ok to take time out of a school curriculum to teach children about just one condition?! And not the others?!

EleanorXx · 02/01/2018 11:17

zzzzz I’m not saying you shouldn’t be angry, but people on 4chan have posted ‘fun experiments’ designed to kill people. Trust me, they won’t stop.

zzzzz · 02/01/2018 11:17

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lynmilne65 · 02/01/2018 11:18

Was also a home for Educationally Sub Normal when I was training 😮

CloudPerson · 02/01/2018 11:19

When opinions from many adults are that autistic children are naughty, inconvenient, badly parented, taking up valuable resources, leaving them out of class parties instead of trying to accommodate, not autistic because they're not fitting Rain Man stereotypes (trying to think of threads and posts I've seen here in the last couple of months), it's easy to see where the attitudes come from.
If adults (all adults, parents, teachers, anyone who has any contact with people) lead the way instead of subtly encouraging disablist attitudes, perhaps their children, or those in their care, will learn not to be shitty.

crispbuttie · 02/01/2018 11:19

zzzz no-one is being a bigot on this thread, seriously. You're directing your anger at the wrong people.

Flomper · 02/01/2018 11:20

I think my children know a lot about autism. They have a few friends with Aspergers. We have 2 family friends with children with severe autism. I have always told them that people with autisms have brains that work a bit differently than theirs. They have always just accepted that.I havent heard them use it as an insult, or anything awful.like retard, spaz.etx, but the oldest is only 13. TBH they use all.sorts of words and insults that I have never heard before and dont really know what they mean but they seem to be more variations of "you idiot" and dont seem to be anything to do with LD or mental.health.

zzzzz · 02/01/2018 11:21

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TheHolidayArmadillo · 02/01/2018 11:21

Explaining autism to them won't help. I say this as someone who has ASD. The focus needs to be on the impact of disablist language rather than the actual conditions. Otherwise it just makes it edgy/dangerous/rebellious.

Are they using "a bit autistic" in the way that some people say "Oh I'm a bit OCD about how my tins of beans are organised."?

crispbuttie · 02/01/2018 11:21

What happened to the MN this is my child campaign - is it still active? Could this issue be part of that?

HermioneAndMsJones · 02/01/2018 11:21

For parents to be able to educate their teenagers about autism, they need to know what autism is in the first place.
I dint think that most adults do. I certainly didn’t until I stumble onto MN years ago and started to read the SN threads (they were in active convos at the time).

I agree that it’s not educating people about autism that should be done but educating them about disability and differences.
But I still think that the first people that need to change are the adults. And it’s goubg to take a hell of a lot of work for that. (Not that it should stop us starting iyswim)

WorraLiberty · 02/01/2018 11:23

zzzzz has anyone on this thread said their own DC is propagating it?

Samcro · 02/01/2018 11:24

please don't call it "name calling"
its not its disablism.

Eltonjohnssyrup · 02/01/2018 11:24

It always amazes me how people always walk so blindly into these 4Chan traps like the "It's okay to be white" signs. (Which admittedly was much cleverer and revealing about those who took offence).

But sometimes it does take a second to step back and think 'Why are they saying that, am I supposed to take offence? Is my offence going to be constructive? Oris it actually going to make what I'm offended by even more attractive to those who say it'?

In this case in terms of an angry MN thread I think the answers to those questions are Yes, No and Yes.

Notreallyarsed · 02/01/2018 11:25

You are unfortunately never going to stop name-calling

Well no, not if you shrug your shoulders and say “well there’s nothing we can do”, not if you think sitting beside one autistic child will ensure they know it all about autism and certainly not if you think that it’s not important enough to educate at school (isn’t that where our children go to be educated?) how not to be a bully.

You speak with the arrogance of someone who is lucky enough not to have to face this demoralising bullshit on a daily basis. It is the parents of NT children who should bear the responsibility for teaching their children how damaging the insults are, not to brush them off as unimportant.

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