to ask you to PLEASE teach your children about autism

[CrochetBelle]

Apparently 'autistic' is now being used as an insult by teenagers - who really should know better.

Do your children know what autism is? Autism is not 'sitting in a corner rocking'. Autism is not 'Sheldon Cooper'. Autism is a whole spectrum and affects people to varying degrees. It does affect people though. There is no such thing as mild autism.

Schools are continuously waving the 'autism accredited' flag these days, with mandatory training on ASD. Don't get me wrong, that's great progress, but when you ask them what they are teaching the children? Nothing.

There is a whole host of accurate, reliable information out there about autism, and what it means. Please make sure your children are aware. Ignorance is no excuse.

On 'mild' autism...

autnot.wordpress.com/2017/12/28/autscriptic-mild-autism/

In public I present as “mildly” affected, mostly because I’ve spent my entire life learning to mask (according to my CPN autistic females tend to find masking easier apparently), but at home I often melt down if I’ve had a very people-y day which I find enormously overwhelming. I’m like a duck, smooth and serene on the surface but paddling furiously under the water to stay afloat.
DS1 is what they call high functioning but his anxiety is increasing as he gets older and peers become more nasty.

DD is like me, she masks then melts down at home when it all gets too much.

DS2 I’m unsure, he’s only just talking now and I’m fairly sure there’s more than autism at play so we’re awaiting his paediatric appointment.

my dd got removed from lessons and put in isolation not long ago after a lad called her a downie and she said er thats fucking disgusting calling people that. They removed her for kicking off and swearing when they were arguing about it, he got left and nothing said to him. My uncle has down syndrome so she never uses language like that and knows its wrong and why.

@FrivolouslyFancifulFannie good on your DD for telling him his words were vile and shame on her school for punishing her and not him!

Obscured

Someone in my family has autism, I'm aware they are all individuals. Hence why I said surely they all experience their disability differently and may describe the impact it has on them differently...

I am aware autism is a disability... It's something I'm exploring with my own health professionals due to varying symptoms dating back to childhood. Not all disabilities impact people emotionally/mentally/socially/physically the same way... so I'm not sure why you keep repeating to me that it's a disability as if I'm unaware.

Sorry, I'm not intending to be offensive, I just genuinely didn't understand.

Zzzzz. Yes education is more than academics....if you had read all of my posts you will have seen that I am well aware of this.....but if you chip away at their school day, when do they learn the academics?!!!!!! All of this is incredibly important, if course it is, but can be taught by society in a different and more effective way. Recently there has been a couple of programmes on the TV about autistic children. I would say they had much more of an impact on people than educating children in school.

Just to be clear, I think I'm someone who just has traits but isn't autistic at all, it's my health professional who thinks differently.

TabbyMumz it must be lovely not to have to consider this issue any more deeply than not wanting it to impact on your child's school day. In my county many children with SN, including mine, can't access school at all due to bullying and lack of support. Children with autism aren't an add on to society, to be included only if it can be fitted in on the timetable. They are part of society, equally important and equally entitled to an education. If missing a small amount of academic learning to address these issues means that some children will start to feel safe, less marginalised and actually able to access education then that is what should happen, regardless of parents who think that the needs of these children don't matter as much as their own precious child missing half an hour of learning.

If you chip away at a child’s confidence by not clamping down on bullying and disablism at what point do they get an education? If their daily life is firefighting shit like this?

i rung up the next day when i found out but they just kept going on about her bad language

Yes they have, but at the same time I think there's a responsibility to see that an individual's words may have more far reaching consequences.
Someone saying "I'm autistic, but only very mildly, it really doesn't affect me, it's not a disability, it's something I find positive...." feeds into the mindset that autistic people, u less they are clearly disabled, aren't disabled at all, which directly leads to attitudes like we came across in school, when ds's HT said he was fine and just needed to try harder, and what would he do in the real world.
I suppose a similar comparison would be to expect a child who couldn't walk to try harder because they weren't as disabled as Stephen Hawking.
A diagnosed disability is a disability, however you look at it, making comparisons or deciding someone is only mildly autistic (as happens in schools every day) doesn't help anyone.

stitch has put it far more articulately than I managed.

My school has done lots of sessions on bullying over the years. It still happens. Perhaps it's reduced, I don't know. Thats being realistic. Commenting on that does not mean people are brushing it aside, or don't care.

@FrivolouslyFancifulFannie that’s ridiculous! Swearing in that context isn’t even bad imo, especially given that it was in response to far, far more offensive language!

And why should children be trained about one particular condition, what about diabetes, heart conditions, lung cancer, kidney stones, asthma, sleep apnoea.. .the list goes on.

Because people with kidney stones aren't subjected to hate crime

You can say you’re being realistic as many times as you like, it doesn’t mean you’re right or indeed that you do care. Because it’s as plain as day that you don’t.

Teenagers have always had their own language and communication but it’s absolutkry true that a lot of this language is disablist and homophobic.

I find this very interesting as at my kids schools ‘coming out’ as gay was generally accepted and supported. Again kids with additional or special needs are far more integrated!!

When I was at school 70/80s none one would have dared be gay openly and I don’t remember anyone at my school with autism etc.,

So what’s going on?

HardAsSnails

Thanks for the link. The thing is that in that link it is somebody trying to label somebody else as having mild autism, which I believe is absolutely wrong as you cannot know what someone feels subjectively. However, I wouldn't see the problem in an individual self-defining how they experience their own autism as mild or severe, as I feel that's their own right iyswim? Sorry I might not be making sense.

Notreally you are perfectly articulate, just angry as am I. A new term starting and my son once again won't be going to school with his peers. It impacts on every aspect of our life, even financially (as I can't work due to him being home ed full time). But heaven forbid someone else's child might miss half an hour of PE.

I think part of the trouble is that kids see pshe as pointless and preaching. I often pull kids on their use of language (none of thsm ever know why I lose it when they use 'mong', fir instance, until I explain) and it makes them realise that words aren't just 'words'. However, generally by the time they're in.high school, ideas about tolerance etc have been embedded (or not) at home.

Mind you in the 70s racist and homophobia/sexist language was mainstream. Thankfully that’s past.

But why the disablist language now amongst teens?

Thanks Cloud, I think I understand it a bit better.

Very sorry if caused offense to anyone!

@stitchglitched that’s horrendous, just so wrong. DS1 thankfully is in a school where his unit is mostly kept separate from the mainstream (inclusion my arse) but actually it protects him too so I’m torn.
DD is headed for mainstream this year and I feel sick, she’s so innocent and trusting and I’m terrified she’ll get eaten alive. DS2 I think will not manage mainstream unless things change drastically within the next year.

I’m sorry you and your son have been subjected to such awful and damaging bullying.

When I was at school 70/80s none one would have dared be gay openly and I don’t remember anyone at my school with autism etc.

I think that the reason that being gay is accepted now is because people got outraged and challenged the injustice of homophobia.

I think the reason autism is more in the mainstream now is that diagnostics and support is significantly improved from 30 years ago. I was diagnosed as an adult, my dad has never been diagnosed but should have been!

It's not that people don't understand, they just don't care. I didn't as a teenager. No many teenager will.