to ask you to PLEASE teach your children about autism

[CrochetBelle]

Apparently 'autistic' is now being used as an insult by teenagers - who really should know better.

Do your children know what autism is? Autism is not 'sitting in a corner rocking'. Autism is not 'Sheldon Cooper'. Autism is a whole spectrum and affects people to varying degrees. It does affect people though. There is no such thing as mild autism.

Schools are continuously waving the 'autism accredited' flag these days, with mandatory training on ASD. Don't get me wrong, that's great progress, but when you ask them what they are teaching the children? Nothing.

There is a whole host of accurate, reliable information out there about autism, and what it means. Please make sure your children are aware. Ignorance is no excuse.

It’s incredibly easy parenting most kids from 4 to 13. They are generally wanting to please adults and have less peer pressure.

Unfortunately from 13 to 16 ish most teenagers will use terms that their maters do afraid I have heard Mong, spaz, retard, etc from my own 5 snd all their various friends at this age.

Strangely enough and thankfully to each other and not to the kids attending the large special needs unit attatched to the School.

I unfailingly pointed this out and their reply was it’s just banter.

Now all adults they wouldn’t dream of using this language.

Teens are a different breed and use terms that adults don’t.,

To say it’s not true is just ignoring the obvious. You just have to keep disapproving and keep modelling good behaviour.

Op it’s defiantly a problem.

@TabbyMumz

“orkandles.....point is not irrelevant at all. Children get bullied for all those conditions. A child I know with diabetes gets treated terribly at school. My point was, is it ok to take time out of a school curriculum to teach children about just one condition?! And not the others?!”

Yes. Of course it is. Are you really that much of a t**t that you think another RE lesson or PE lesson or the 40th fucking chemistry lesson about the periodic table is going to be more useful than learning about a disability that’s likely to affect a loved one someday?!

FYI everyone can see that you’re ‘being realistic’ is code for this doesn’t affect me so I don’t give a shit & I don’t think I should be told to give a shit.

FYI everyone can see that you’re ‘being realistic’ is code for this doesn’t affect me so I don’t give a shit & I don’t think I should be told to give a shit

Well bloody said!

Teenagers are not children , well you may be able to tell a child to stop using that language and they will, a teenager most likely will not. Are you saying you never used insulting language as a teen not knowing the consequences? I did and I’m not proud of it but we thought we were rebelling, not being twats

Precisely why you educate them about right and wrong when they're young. I never had someone say to me "don't say this,it's mean" and then used it to be "rebellious."

My dd was raised to be kind and not call names - I can't think of any time that we had an issue with it. In fact, she was usually the first one to stand up against someone name-calling others,both as a child and as a teenager. My other dcs are being raised the same way.

The problem with describing it as mild, even if a person feels they are mildly affected at any one time, is that there are then expectations attached to that person, which may then come back to bite them if they go through a more difficult time.

As an example (and it's a specific one, not generalising or talking for anyone else here) I have a friend who has a severely autistic son. He's non verbal, cannot go to mainstream school, he is recognisably disabled. My two boys (and me I suppose) would be considered mildly autistic, yet my friend has had a wonderful Christmas, they've approached it in a way that their son can cope with, and it's been relaxed and easy for them. My mildly affected boys haven't coped at all, even with an autistic approach, it's all been too much and the whole family is frazzled and Christmas has been dreadful, apart from a few isolated pockets of niceness.
Yet mine are the mildly autistic children?
People seem to want functioning labels, even though in real terms they don't really mean anything and often make supporting autistic people more confusing. High functioning/appearing to be normal = must try harder, needs a firmer hand, is their own worst enemy. Low functioning = will never do anything, low expectations etc.
Some people need less support, but that doesn't mean that they won't need it at some point, or that their lives are going to be easy because they are able to be more independent than other autistic people.

I AM NOT SAYING ITS OK I am saying it happens. And as I said earlier I have asd so it does effect me. I’m saying teenagers want to rebel and using this language is one way they do it. I’m saying that educating teenagers about autism will not mean that people will stop using it. It’s wrong but many of you seem to have forgotten what teenagers are like

Thankfully we haven't come across this.
My daughter aged 14 has never experienced it.
If she did she would be heartbroken as her elder brother is right at the severe end having never spoken a word in his life, and her little brother has Down's Syndrome.
Maybe I'm just immune and don't notice it.

FWIW I would educate my kids if they parroted an offensive term they’d heard elsewhere too, just because they’re autistic doesn’t mean I’d let it slide. DS1 has asked what some mean names mean so I’ve explained and also explained how damaging they are. He heard someone use the N word to describe one of my friends and he was devastated. He was also outraged, as he should have been.

The lack of outrage towards disablism is an enormous problem. Just think, if the suffragettes hadn’t got outraged, would we be able to vote? If civil rights leaders in the US hadn’t spoken out would segregation still be happening? If Pride marches hadn’t begun would gay people be allowed to marry? If everybody sat on their arses and said “it’s not my problem”, life would be very different.

but many of you seem to have forgotten what teenagers are like
No, none of the teens/young adults in my house would dream of using such language. I've taught them not to.

It’s wrong but many of you seem to have forgotten what teenagers are like

Hmm.... was a teenager, raised one through teenage years, have another two approaching teenage years (one just bordering now)...

Nope. Can't say I've forgotten.

We brought up all our children to be kind too. Of course we taught them right from wrong from a young age.

They are all kind adults. They wouldn’t have dreamed of shouting such names at the kids attending the special needs unit, intact most of the teenagers treated those attending with kindness and tolerance but they used such terms among their own peer groups.

It’s problem.

Notreallyarsed

I'd disagree with that poster. Saying you're being realistic is not the same as saying you don't give a shit because it doesn't affect you. I've been on the receiving end of homophobic remarks and sexual harassment - I still don't think we will ever live in an ideal world where these things are stamped out. Certainly not saying what PP implied.

Hatsoff, when they reply it's just banter that's the point where you can continue and point out that it's not ok, punish them in the same way as you would if they were being racist.

And this Strangely enough and thankfully to each other and not to the kids attending the large special needs unit attatched to the School. doesn't make it ok.

I was a horrid teenager, a right wee bitch to my parents and a nightmare to live with. I never once used racist, homophobic, disablist or bigoted language. Because it’s disgusting.

The lack of outrage towards disablism is an enormous problem. Just think, if the suffragettes hadn’t got outraged, would we be able to vote? If civil rights leaders in the US hadn’t spoken out would segregation still be happening? If Pride marches hadn’t begun would gay people be allowed to marry? If everybody sat on their arses and said “it’s not my problem”, life would be very different.

This.Absolutely.

@Skadespelerskorna I’d respectfully agree to disagree because the poster who it referred to has made it quite clear they don’t give a shit about the impact of disablist language, wouldn’t be bothered to clamp down if it was their own children using such language and thinks it’s a waste of time to educate children not to use it.

Ginger then you were a nicer teen than me and others in my school. I was raised to be polite, but I used the language in casual conversation as did everyone else. I didn’t think about what I was doing. Being told not to just ‘ruined our fun’ I look back and crying as I now realise how cruel we were, but it does happen and educating didn’t stop us doing it.

With the greatest respect they may well not use such language in your hearing.

Within the peer group it’s very different. I was a TA in a secondary school and such terms are absolutkry common use among teenagers and their friends. Even the children whose parents who would be the most shocked. Even from teenagers who had siblings with special needs.

Skadespelerskorna
But surely autistic people exist who themselves feel that their symptoms mildly affect them?

I'm the NT parent of a diagnosed autistic adult so maybe not best placed to answer your question. I'm in online contact with several diagnosed autistic adults who are also parents.

None of the autistic adults who I'm in contact with would describe their autism as affecting them mildly.

Autism is a disability.

Many people have 'traits' which do not impact on their daily life. IMO, they are not autistic because those traits do not impair their daily living to a large degree. See the Rebecca Burgess cartoon I linked to in my previous post and see the diagnostic criteria posted upthread by the OP.
Once again, Autism is a disability.

I'm still not sure I get it. Surely it is down to the individual who is experiencing the autism to describe it and how they feel it affects them? Some may feel it affects them only minimally, others may feel it affects them severely. Is personal experience not important here?

I think only people who have autism could answer that. Do remember that each individual with autism is an individual with autism.

And words like spaz or gay being used as insults didn’t just go out of fashion. They fell out of use because people spoke up about it being unacceptable to use it.

Strangely enough and thankfully to each other and not to the kids attending the large special needs unit attatched to the School.

You think that makes it okay? My dcs would have some serious consequences, no matter when/where/what situation the offensive words were used.

CloudPerson

I think the issue I have is that I feel the individual should have the choice of how they describe their own experience with it. I do understand the problems it may cause to use 'mild/severe' in relation to other people, and don't believe that's right, but on a personal level I feel using mild/severe is subjective and personal to their feelings.

So, while I may never say: "That girl has severe depression and this boy only has mild depression because xyx" (because you can't speak for what goes on in other people's minds, what you see on the outside doesn't always reflect what is happening inside), I may feel "I only have mild depression" and I think those feelings are valid, as only the individual really knows what's happening in their own heads.

If that makes any sense...

Tabby - why are you so focused on the fact that you don't believe teaching your child(ren) to not be disabilist is as important as their GCSEs?
You do realise that you can teach your own child stuff, at home?

In fact, I'm pretty sure the thread is perfectly obviously about parents teaching children.

So, now what is your excuse?

cloud

I didn’t say it was ok! Of course you dissaprovre and model good behaviour but it’s absoluteiy endemic in teenage speak. As is ‘gay’ as a banter insult.

I am simply reporting facts that I know as having had 5 teenagers, met hundreds of other teenagers and work in a school.