to ask you to PLEASE teach your children about autism

[CrochetBelle]

Apparently 'autistic' is now being used as an insult by teenagers - who really should know better.

Do your children know what autism is? Autism is not 'sitting in a corner rocking'. Autism is not 'Sheldon Cooper'. Autism is a whole spectrum and affects people to varying degrees. It does affect people though. There is no such thing as mild autism.

Schools are continuously waving the 'autism accredited' flag these days, with mandatory training on ASD. Don't get me wrong, that's great progress, but when you ask them what they are teaching the children? Nothing.

There is a whole host of accurate, reliable information out there about autism, and what it means. Please make sure your children are aware. Ignorance is no excuse.

"You are unfortunately never going to stop name-calling"
"But when I was a teenager, gay/spaz/retard/mongo were all used as insults based on the characteristics that those words suggested."

Likewise, Racist name calling (including my Mother who I was told was a N*** shagger, because her first DH was from the Caribbean).

The will was there to stamp out racism. It beggers the question why it isn't there for disability insults and why, as this thread demonstrates, there are Adults claiming it can't be changed when many changers have been implemented.

A lot has changed since my childhood in the 70's, which shows that zero tolerance does work.

What gets on my nerves is when the people who do the FB posts of the memes saying that children with SN aren't wierd/strange etc, but then a few days later describe as Adult as a freak because they were on the bus making noises etc.

I think it is important to remind everyone that those children with SN grow into Adults with SN and don't always behave or communicate as expected or according to social conventions.

Even the people who hold doors open and are sarcastic when they don't get a thank you. My 20 year old DD would struggle to communicate in that scenario and doesn't need the continual judgement that going outside brings.

Just stop and think and consider if you need to be judging and reacting, or would applying a little kindness kill you.

I don't think anyone's saying it's unimportant, or that parents of children shouldn't teach them this.

Of course they are. Read.

I have simply been realistic. If you think you can change the world, go for it, but people will still be name-calling in 20 30 years time, the words will just be different.

I have suggested it might be better doing it on TV, or social media, rather than take time out of a school day.

You are unfortunately never going to stop name-calling

I think making a big song and dance about finding things offensive isn't always constructive in the age of Trump and Brexit.

The trendy new insult for teens,when I was growing up it was gay, but that seems to have died off now. Unfortunately I don’t think educating will work. But autistic probably won’t be used as an insult in a few years time.

I think more people should be 'noisily offended' if I'm honest.

People make enough noise (and rightly so) when others are seen to make racist comments, or come across as culturally insensitive.

I don't think we would have got to that point if everyone was just 'quietly offended' by nasty/ignorant comments in the past.

That should have said that racist name calling, was prevalent and everywhere.

I'm not sure about there being no such thing as mild autism? Surely, depending on how badly your symptoms impact your daily functioning, it could be considered as mild or severe? Similarly to high-functioning/low-functioning personality disorders or depression etc. As you say, it's a spectrum and nobody with autism is the same.

Totally agree about using it as an insult though. The main one I hear is "flid" (thalidomide), used to describe someone clumsy/slow/stupid.

But saying don’t use autistic as an insult it’s mean will just make it seem rebellious and more attractive. As I said before, when I was a younger and we used gay as an insult all the talks about how wrong it was made it much worse as we thought we were being rebellious and edgy, not cruel.

This wasn't really so much about using 'autistic'as an insult, but more about the fact that, when challenged, these kids have no idea what autism is, what autism means.

Do your children believe everyone in a wheelchair is paraplegic? Do your children believe everyone with short hair is a boy? That everyone who walks a dog is blind? No, I bet they don't - because they have been taught otherwise.

So why do people not teach their children that people with autism are different too? That it's not a case of autism = x. Most offence that is caused by disabilism isn't intentional, it's done from a lack of understanding, through misconceptions about that disability and what it means.

Why would you want you and your children to be part of the problem, rather than the solution?

DS primary school had a massive problem with this. In a bid to fix it they got an Autism specialist in to talk to the children. They told the children they all had quirks, every single child without exception, that could be attributed to autism and despite a huge uproar from several parents it actually stopped the name calling and teasing in school.

Its funny how showing all children they are similar to each other can stop poor behaviour towards others.

I agree that we can try to stop it, but I believe it will always be a here unfortunately. Much like rape and racism. We can lessen the problem, but it will never disappear completely. Racist and homophobic slurs were still used as insults when I was at school in 2011.

The word “spaz” may have been used 20 or 30 years ago but I would go batshit if mine used it, or “retard” or similar. For the same reason I wouldn’t tolerate them using “chinky” , “paki” or “poof” either even though those were also common in my youth. Because times change and we now know that certain words and phrases or making fun of people due to their race/sexual orientation/disability status etc is not acceptable

Skades, re. mild autism

And take a moment to remember that these are PEOPLE you are talking about.

When your 6yo is sobbing because a child made fun of him because he's in a wheelchair. Or your 4yo has a meltdown because children are deliberately winding him up because they know he can't cope with it.

Are YOU going to sit there and tell that 6yo or that 4yo that "it's okay, because calling them names will go out of fashion in a few years?" Will you tell them they need to be more "realistic?"

arsed, this sort of 4Chan jiggerypokery normally dies a death when it's challenged by their peers. Because although it's a very powerful influence online, IRL the sort of people involved with it are neither glamourous, successful nor those their peers would wish to emulate.

In the main these people aren't the sort of people who would react to 'consequences' enforced by parents with anything other than absolute glee they'd provoked a reaction. And to describe them as children is stretching the point massively. They're much more likely to be young adults.

If younger children that can be influenced by their parents or have real consequences enforced by all means parents should do that.

But the reality is that in this situation the vast majority of people using and propogating this language are going to be well beyond the point where their parents can have any meaningful impact on the language they use.

Quite frankly if they are using a health condition as an insult there is a whole lot more that is wrong with them than a mere ignorance of autism.

Actually the vast majority of people I've seen use 'autistic' as an insult on Twitter have been grown up adults with jobs.

Skades

The diagnostic criteria for autism means that it isn't mild. It has to affect an individual to such an extent, or it isn't diagnosed.

A. Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across multiple contexts, as manifested by the following, currently or by history (examples are illustrative, not exhaustive, see text):

1. Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity, ranging, for example, from abnormal social approach and failure of normal back-and-forth conversation; to reduced sharing of interests, emotions, or affect; to failure to initiate or respond to social interactions.

1. Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction, ranging, for example, from poorly integrated verbal and nonverbal communication; to abnormalities in eye contact and body language or deficits in understanding and use of gestures; to a total lack of facial expressions and nonverbal communication.

1. Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships, ranging, for example, from difficulties adjusting behavior to suit various social contexts; to difficulties in sharing imaginative play or in making friends; to absence of interest in peers.

B. Restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities, as manifested by at least two of the following, currently or by history (examples are illustrative, not exhaustive; see text):

1. Stereotyped or repetitive motor movements, use of objects, or speech (e.g., simple motor stereotypies, lining up toys or flipping objects, echolalia, idiosyncratic phrases).

1. Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns or verbal nonverbal behavior (e.g., extreme distress at small changes, difficulties with transitions, rigid thinking patterns, greeting rituals, need to take same route or eat food every day).

1. Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus (e.g, strong attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circumscribed or perseverative interest).

1. Hyper- or hyporeactivity to sensory input or unusual interests in sensory aspects of the environment (e.g., apparent indifference to pain/temperature, adverse response to specific sounds or textures, excessive smelling or touching of objects, visual fascination with lights or movement).

C. Symptoms must be present in the early developmental period (but may not become fully manifest until social demands exceed limited capacities, or may be masked by learned strategies in later life).

D. Symptoms cause clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of current functioning.

E. These disturbances are not better explained by intellectual disability (intellectual developmental disorder) or global developmental delay. Intellectual disability and autism spectrum disorder frequently co-occur; to make comorbid diagnoses of autism spectrum disorder and intellectual disability, social communication should be below that expected for general developmental level.

There ought to be zero tolerance in schools. Maybe the parents shrugging shoulders will start to care if their kid gets suspended or kicked off their sports team.

But saying don’t use autistic as an insult it’s mean will just make it seem rebellious and more attractive. As I said before, when I was a younger and we used gay as an insult all the talks about how wrong it was made it much worse as we thought we were being rebellious and edgy, not cruel.

Interesting.When I was a child, if someone said to me "don't call people this, it's mean," then I was reasonably intelligent enough to understand that it was cruel. That says more about your character than anything else, does it not?

Totally agree ginger that's exactly what I thought too.
If knowing you're being cruel made it more attractive to you then you really do have an issue tbh.

It is definitely possible to change the ethos in a school.

I worked in a massive comprehensive where calling anything remotely boring or annoying was “gay” etc. Homophobic language was very common. We did a big project with Stonewall and it stopped within a few weeks and the ethos became far more one of acceptance and tolerance and actually a number of young people coming out as gay who had previously been hiding their sexuality. If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes I wouldn’t have believed it.

"Racist and homophobic slurs were still used as insults when I was at school in 2011."

But now they are taken seriously and acted upon. So in five years there has been a shift in attitude towards racist and homophobic insults.

So we should all be asking why there hasn't towards sexist and disability insults.

Absolutely, and I agree that it should be one of many things that are taught to kids as simply not acceptable to see in that way. Eg I heard my friend's son describe something as "gay" the other day.

He wasn't talking about a person or a rainbow flag. He was talking about a small biscuit