to ask you to PLEASE teach your children about autism

[CrochetBelle]

Apparently 'autistic' is now being used as an insult by teenagers - who really should know better.

Do your children know what autism is? Autism is not 'sitting in a corner rocking'. Autism is not 'Sheldon Cooper'. Autism is a whole spectrum and affects people to varying degrees. It does affect people though. There is no such thing as mild autism.

Schools are continuously waving the 'autism accredited' flag these days, with mandatory training on ASD. Don't get me wrong, that's great progress, but when you ask them what they are teaching the children? Nothing.

There is a whole host of accurate, reliable information out there about autism, and what it means. Please make sure your children are aware. Ignorance is no excuse.

Armadillo, no it's in the same way as teenagers say somethings gay, or that someone,s being a spaz or a retard. It's used as an insult.

A boy at ds's primary gave a presentation about his autism, it was done in a really positive way. Unfortunately it gave more ammunition to two nasty boys who used their slightly increased knowledge of his sensory issues to further bully him. Which was completely denied by the HT, possibly because it was easier to let it go and not deal with it like most bullying

Weird to focus on one particular source of disablist shit but not on your own child propagating it?

Nobody has said they're letting their children do it! My eldest is 5! If he was on 4Chan I'd call social services on myself.

There's also that Elton.

I think making a big song and dance about finding things offensive isn't always constructive in the age of Trump and Brexit. "People" kick back against what they perceive to be liberal elitist whining, even when it's justified.

"All kids do it - just being realistic - it'll go out of fashion - we can't stop them from saying xxxx"

Yep. You just keep telling yourselves that and enabling it to continue.

Sandro...it's still name calling.

But when I was a teenager, gay/spaz/retard/mongo were all used as insults based on the characteristics that those words suggested. This is where my own ASD is probably tripping me up, so gladly listening here.

big song and dance

But calmly and firmly repeating yourself when faced with it isn’t making a big song and dance? My kids (and I) face this crap daily, and I’ll be fecked if they see me allowing them to be demeaned and demoralised by little bastards who haven’t been taught any better.

Notreallyarsed.....none of my posts have brushed it aside. I have simply been realistic. If you think you can change the world, go for it, but people will still be name-calling in 20 30 years time, the words will just be different. it's a bit like the new years day post about judging and things we don't like, it's human nature. I have suggested it might be better doing it on TV, or social media, rather than take time out of a school day.

Exactly Notreally

My children have autism and sometimes hear comments and phrases that are racist, demeaning to women, disablist directed at various people when we're out and about (bus, tube, etc). We always sit down and talk about the word/phrase and talk about what it's supposed to mean or imply and how it's unkind and they should not ever use it.

It's not complicated. You teach your children what's right and what's wrong.

The whole public need educating not just children.
Even the older generation that can still be extremely rude and ignorant about autism.
I’m sick of hearing how my ds will have a special talent, when the truth is I’ll be lucky if he ever talks or learns to use a toilet.
I think children know a lot more about autism than adults as they usually have someone in the school with it.
But children are mean and don’t understand the effect there words have on other people until they are older and more mature. A

I agree with you OP but I think posts like this would be more useful if there was a good list of resources attached. People who aren't affected don't always find time/inclination to look, however much they might need to do so (and I very much include myself in that)! People often say "There are loads of good resources" but specifics in terms of a high level overview that takes in the whole variety of issues are often lacking.

Sorry about the random A

In posted on the other thread. I think it's disgusting that racism is reportable to LA of done in schools but no such policy exists for disablism and other 'isms'.

Why is it when a child says "nigger" or "paki" regardless of where they heard the word or their actual understanding of what they said they are hauled over the coals and reported etc (quite rightly as well imo!).

But when a child calls another "autistic" "spastic" or "retard" it's assumed they don't really understand what they've said or are just describing what the person did was similar to a diagnostic description for autism.

It's totally disgraceful that because someone takes something literally its fair game to say "stop being so autistic".

It DOES show a total lack of ignorance of having having autism is and what it's like. My ds is a highly intelligent 13yo who cannot read nuances in language that affects everything from his self esteem to his ability to communicate effectively.

He's also recently been called a spastic cunt when struggling to climb the stairs.
Yes, ds has spasticity in his muscles. He takes baclofen to reduce this. But the fact he goes about his day managing the fact that moving a certain leg muscle will activate ones in his back and arms and cause clonus - doesn't mean they can use the term as an insult.

I'd seriously really like to find a way to make disablism such a serious crime as racism etc.

Unless it's given the same importance as racism throughout society, it's going to continue.
It's not just teenagers. It's parents on MN spouting shit, it's people commenting on DM articles, it's Katie Hopkins, it's an enormous problem which isn't recognised as a problem by the majority of people.
Disabled people are seen as an inconvenience to society instead of valuable members.
I could give you so many examples I'd be here all day posting!

I find this toaster/hair dryer analogy quite interesting for talking to children

momnos.blogspot.co.uk/2010/03/on-being-hair-dryer-kid-in-toaster.html

Ahh I understand now zzzz

I just thought you were shooting the messanger for want of a better way to put it.

But I do get what you're saying now.

I have simply been realistic. If you think you can change the world, go for it, but people will still be name-calling in 20 30 years time, the words will just be different.

Realistic.The catchword for "this is how it's always been, so why bother?" Or in other words "it doesn't affect me or my children, so who cares?" God forbid we make an effort to make a positive change in the world.

I have suggested it might be better doing it on TV, or social media, rather than take time out of a school day.

Isn't school where children are supposed to learn things that prepare them for life? I'm seriously shocked that you think this is a waste of school time, with all the bullying in schools.

You’ve not been realistic, you’re not bothered about challenging it because it’s not your child who is affected. Clamping down on offensive and disabilist language is sadly absolutely necessary both in school and at home. Throwing your hands up and absolving yourself of any responsibility is just lazy. As for taking time out of a school day, what do you propose then? Because our children have every right to go to school without fear of bullying and mocking, without being targeted for their diagnosis which they never asked for and cannot do anything about, and have as much right to an education as anyone.

People with disabilities are not separate to society, we are all part of the same society and if everyone in society took the “I’m alright Jack” approach to life it would be a pretty shit place to be. Which it is when you’re constantly subjected to prejudice and disablism.

I put my hands and say I don't know enough about autism to educate my DC, although we are all different and I bring my DC up to be kind & respectful with manners to anybody, regardless of any disability

It is the parents of NT children who should bear the responsibility for teaching their children how damaging the insults are, not to brush them off as unimportant.

I don't think anyone's saying it's unimportant, or that parents of children shouldn't teach them this.

I just think people are pointing out that this comes from a subculture where the intent is to offend. So being noisily offended on MN is counterproductive rather than constructive. They just aren't the sort of people who can be stopped from doing it by a quiet word from Mum.

whiskyowl try The National Autistic Society.

@confusedhelpme that sounds good enough to me, the way you’re teaching your children to be kind and accepting of differences is what we should all be doing.

Elton so what should we do? Just allow it to continue? To watch our children withdraw even further and feel worse about themselves because parents just don’t try?

Given some of the fucking awful disablism that comes from parents on MN I sadly doubt they will care enough to teach their children any better. My son has autism and this is one of the reasons I currently home educate.