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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So embarrassed

180 replies

Firsttimemum777 · 02/01/2018 09:30

Was at the in laws family do. About 8 people there and grandad was taking a picture of our 8 month old. I accidentally let out a big fart. My OH looked at me in shock then looked at the dog to try and put the blame on him. As did I. I think everyone in the room was pretty sure it was me though.

I’m mortified. We had to leave early to get DS to bed. Now I’m worried they were all laughing about me when we left.

OP posts:
Littlewoo · 03/01/2018 18:28

I remember when was 12 traveling up from London to Scotland with my friend and her family. I fell asleep, was woken with a start when my friend and her brother cheered crossing the border. Unfortunately due to waking with a fright, I woke with a loud snoring snort and an enormous fart shot out. I was so embarrassed I pretended to still be asleep whilst they roared and laughed with their mum telling them to be quiet.

MumsTheWordYouKnow · 03/01/2018 18:28

Ah yes the office fart the assembly fart. We’ve all been there.

spangles1963 · 03/01/2018 18:28

Why do people get SO embarrassed about farting? Everyone does it,even the queen!

Feilin · 03/01/2018 18:36

Honestly after giving birth id no control. Farted in front of a young lad at work (im 37 hes 23) panicked but just said excuse me and carried on. Other colleague whos female can produce utter thunderclappers and is completely nonapologectic

jellycat1 · 03/01/2018 18:36

Oh my God melon I haven't laughed liked that in forever...!!! Thank you! OP thank you for this thread. For some reason my 42 yr old self finds fart stories as hysterically funny as my 8 year old self did Grin

froginapond · 03/01/2018 18:37

Lay off the sprouts OP.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 03/01/2018 18:50

This is still making me laugh.. I'm so childish. BlushGrin

MyGirlDaisy · 03/01/2018 18:57

I live in a house with three men and a dog - they all fart but the dogs smell the worst, if you had farted in front of me I wouldn’t have batted an eyelid I am so used to it. Besides my boss told me once that he had heard that if you never farted you would eventually explode! I walked in to give him his morning cuppa once and he had definitely farted in his office, he looked a bit sheepish but I pretended not to notice!

neveradullmoment99 · 03/01/2018 18:58

Sorry OP they will never forget about it. I was in a staff meeting and the boss let out a huge fart. It will be something I will never forget!

SchadenfreudePersonified · 03/01/2018 18:58

I did it in a very quiet office when I coughed and let out a huge fart at the same time.

I did this Twitter - except I didn't even cough - I just stood up and it was like deafening blubbery farty foghorn! Worse - I was the only woman in an office with 14 men.

It was a long time before I was allowed to forget that - and I was accused of "blame an innocent child" when I said "But the baby kicked me!"

You'll get over it - I was there for another three years after that (I still expect it to be mentioned in my obituary, mind you Grin )

Katie0705 · 03/01/2018 18:58

Thank you everyone for the wonderful stories, and particularly to Melon for making me laugh so much that my bladder couldn't cope with the challenge.
OP I really feel for you but please don't worry. Hopefully the hilarious tales on here have made you laugh.

I just love the farting threads, so therapeutic!

SchadenfreudePersonified · 03/01/2018 19:03

Not that I ever fart.

Me neither Fekk. But strangely, I am often sitting next to a dog that does. What a coincidence! Wink

HeyhoIndigo · 03/01/2018 19:03

I did this in front of my DD and her very good-looking boyfriend when they hadn't been going out very long. We have no dog to blame. I owned the moment, just said Oops and laughed. DD laughed then said Mum with a mortified expression on her face. She was more embarrassed than I was. Boyfriend did not react; he has excellent manners and has been well dragged-up.

Better out than in, OP

Fekko · 03/01/2018 19:07

When I was about ten we had a very holy willie teacher, who would joyously tell us about how we were going to die someday and go to heaven (if good).

Being a somewhat delicate child, the hell and brimstone played havoc with my sphincter. I still remember farting loud and long onto my plastic chair and the reverberations caused by the loose seat (imagine twanging a plastic ruler hanging off the edge of your desk and you get the idea).

On the upside, I was a legend until playtime as the boys decided that I had done it on purpose. I don't actually remember the teachers reaction though. I really can't fart at will (my sister can). I can burp though.

Cantuccit · 03/01/2018 19:11

I think the response to my post are far nastier than me telling the OP she was being a bit pathetic to be so mortified over a normal bodily function 🙄

Trashbag you can dish out but can't take it, eh?

OP may have farted, but you're the one blowing it out of your arse.

RaeCJ82 · 03/01/2018 19:11

You're either a farter or a liar! Yes, that's very embarrassing OP, and if someone had done that in my presence I would have had a little giggle about it afterwards, but I'd forget about it pretty quickly. Don't worry!

Caenea · 03/01/2018 19:13

Own it, OP.

My grandmother, on her first meeting with my partner, got up from the dinner table, let out an astoundingly excellent knee-trembler that lasted at least ten seconds, looked around proudly and said "What do you think of that then?!" to my partner before proceeding to her rocking chair. It was a truly brilliant moment.

spangles1963 · 03/01/2018 19:14

Fekko What's a 'willie teacher'? Grin

Fekko · 03/01/2018 19:15

'Holy willie' (dour, humourless, religious type) but 'willie teacher' is more amusing!

gluteustothemaximus · 03/01/2018 19:16

One time DH and I were in Tesco, looking at the DVD’s.

I saw him do his, look-around-to-see-if-anyone’s-there look, and then he let out this enormous fart, which stank.

A couple came round the corner immediately, into the smell, and DH say ‘gluteus, that’s disgusting!’

I was mortified. And then denied it profusely, to which DH Said, ‘don’t worry, everybody farts’. Git.

Also, DH does the farting on every step thing.

I blame my trumps on the toddler. He can’t speak properly yet, and therefore cannot deny Grin

spangles1963 · 03/01/2018 19:17

Anyone know a man who thinks that women just don't fart? I've known of a couple.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 03/01/2018 19:21

My friend's husband thought that women didn't fart. Until he married her.

ASqueakingInTheShrubbery · 03/01/2018 19:31

I once sat next to my very proper, very elegant boss at a conference, farting silently and uncontrollably throughout. I was pregnant, and as I don't usually fart like a stinking animal very often, I blame that, but it was very early on and I hadn't told anyone. She was far too gracious to comment, but can't have failed to notice.

Fekko · 03/01/2018 19:36

When DS was about 2 we were in a lift in m&s and an awfully posh elderly lady got in with us. As soon as the doors closed she let out the largest fart.

DSs face was a picture - surprise, shock then a sly smirk that spread into a huge grin (he was also furiously pointing at her back). He was just developing a sense of humour (the day he connected the words 'pea' and 'pee' sticks in my mind - a day of hysterical laughter). I was desperately trying to distract him before he said anything and we got out at the best floor before he could say anything.

StrangeLookingParasite · 03/01/2018 19:54

"Better an empty house than an unwelcome tenant".