So embarrassed

[Firsttimemum777]

Was at the in laws family do. About 8 people there and grandad was taking a picture of our 8 month old. I accidentally let out a big fart. My OH looked at me in shock then looked at the dog to try and put the blame on him. As did I. I think everyone in the room was pretty sure it was me though.

I’m mortified. We had to leave early to get DS to bed. Now I’m worried they were all laughing about me when we left.

OP - this is one of the funniest articles I've read about farting. Enjoy!

hahasforhoohas.com/the-fart-that-almost-altered-my-destiny

'Like everything in life, farts have a time and place. However, I never realized that in the wrong time and place, flatulence had enough power to alter my course in history. Well, it can if it’s the third date with the man of your dreams. And, if it makes his eyes burn. If God destined us to be together, I was one SBD away from foiling His plans (that’s “Silent But Deadly” for you prudes).'

I feel for you, I would be embarrassed too! But I don't even like farting in front of DH - been together 9 bloody years!!

I like to think in that situation, DH would say it was him haha!

OP you poor darling.

Here's my take on the flatus situation. Everyone farts and everyone farts even more at Christmas. My house is positively toxic at the moment.

The other day I demanded to know who the owner of the latest assault on the air was and EVERY. SINGLE. MAN in the house claimed it proudly.

Last night I crop dusted the whole of Wembley Ikea and I am pretty sure that numerous fellow customers knew it was me. (Those damn meatballs and lingonberry jam)...

Did they laugh after you left? No doubt about it. I would have.

You have two options, worry.. or own it. We've all been there I promise. Anyone who claims they have never farted or never accidentally farted in public is a flipping liar.

Much love from a fellow farter.... x

Melon, that is hilarious!

girlwithadragontattoo, poor you. It's happened to most of us, I think.

Ah @Goldenbug! One of the funniest one-liners from one of the funniest series' ever on British telly! 'Any sexual problems?!

I was on a train that couldn't get out of the station due to ice and the guard came to ferry us into another carriage so with expert timing I let off a big smelly one just as we exited the carriage. To my horror that carriage wasn't going anywhere either so we had to go back to the original carriage that was now humming with my fart!
There was a man sitting in the carriage already and my (now DH) started rolling his eyes at him and saying shall we move carriage? I couldn't do anything but giggle, the man eventually moved carriage. My moral is always blame the man!

This thing about blaming it on the dog......

That's fine if you didn't have a dog like mine. He would fart and then give me a death stare.

I must have had the only dog who blamed his farts on his owner.

My dh and I hadn't been together long when we first went on holiday together. With my ILs. I decided it would be safest at that stage in our relationship to go into the balcony to let rip one of the longest, loudest most satisfying farts of my life - the kind you get a few of at the beginning of a new relationship due to holding in I find. How his parents managed to keep straight faces as I turned and realised they were enjoying the evening sun on the neighbouring balcony I'll never know.

I would be embarrassed too op. And even though it's natural I would feel disgusted. Funny when you're 5 maybe but a grown woman? Anyway it's done now. Not much you can do.

Melon that is really really funny!!!

Sympathies OP. Does it help to hear all of our own embarrassing farting stories?? Here's mine. Client lunch, posh restaurant, in my early twenties, all men - massive fart from me. Won't ever forget it as I was mortified

Gosh, why are people being so mean about farts?

Granted, I have a relative who brazenly farts in company and doesn't give a shit. Sometimes he lifts a leg as well - that's disgusting. But referring to the OP getting caught out by a sneaky fart as disgusting is just mean.

But sometimes people just do fart. It happens. I saw on another thread recently someone declared that children should be trained not to fart in front of people! WTAF?

Farts happen. Sometimes you feel one brewing and you can hold it until you reach safety, and sometimes you are the beast that let an SBD go in the car on a long journey when its raining.

There is no training farts, sometimes you have a moments grace, and sometimes they are just going to trumpet uncontrollably... Much like pooping, they are great levellers of people - we all do them.

People with IBD actually celebrate farts - a genuine airy fart is something to be proud of in some circles.

People need to stop being so mean and prissy.

To quote PG Wodehouse: 'A sound digestion and a clear conscience'

LOL melon that reminded me off the time I got up early one Sunday morning for a glass of water and farted whilst walking down every single step. I walked past the lounge to find one of teenage DS friends sitting on the sofa with this look on his face

I was once walking through a shop listening to my ipod, I knew there was a little one brewing, but it only seemed like a little one (one of the ones you just know is going to be silent) so as I was walking, listening to my music & just generally getting down with my bad self, I let it just slip out.
When I then turned to look at something on a shelf beside me, I realised, people were looking at me & it then dawned on me, just because I couldn't hear it, didn't mean others couldn't!

Turned out it was a rather loud botty cough & people knew it was me! I giggled, waved at the people looking & left the shop! 😂

I farted in the lift at work once when I was leaving for the day. It had been brewing all afternoon and was particularly virulent. That was fine as I was on my own but hadn't thought about people getting into the lift as I exited.

The Queen must have great self-control!

I love these, I've been laughing loudly at the last few posts, so funny.

I remember a thread a while back, I wish I'd copied it, it was hilarious. Anyway, there was a poster there who described her mum in M&S who happened to fart loudly standing next to gentleman. Apparently, according to this poster, it sounded like a gun and he jumped, startled, gave the OP's mum a filthy look and stomped off.

I don't have a talent for regaling tales but if that OP happens on this thread she can tell you properly. It was extremely funny.

I feel for you .
I think we should all relax about farts . I’ve never heard my husband I think - in 25 years of marriage . My children where always terribly embarrassed when they farted . You know I’m changing that , I fart more at home it’s silly to be so embarrassed about it . Yes , do try to go to the toilet but if it happens ... no big deal .
I farted by accident at my dad’s deathbed when I was 12 ... for years I’ve felt horrible about it !

It's nice to see lots of fellow farters have appeared on this thread

See OP you're not alone

I have been known to fart sometimes.

I'm Farticus.

teenybean haha i have a habit of going to sleep with my ipod. I cant count the number of times ive let one rip in bed and had a little giggle to myself, only to remember the teens sleeping over in the next room. I mean if i can hear it over my music at full volume god knows what theyre hearing

I used to work in a school for the deaf.

Some deaf children remain completely unaware, or forget, that farts can be noisy. You can be having a perfectly nice conversation when one of the little buggers lets rip, full throttle. It's not always easy keeping a straight face.

They know it smells though, but that's another story...

I once farted when I sneezed on my first date. We have been married 25 years now:)

@TheHandMaidsTail 😂😂😂. nothing this exciting ever happens at my family parties. i would love this (obviously not for me to do it). huge hugs for you

@GreatDuckCookery, @teenybean, literally sat crying laughing at your stories