To think it's incredibly unfair my Trust have stopped doing female s terilisations?

[Thurlow]

I was doing some reading before a doctor's appointment later today and it seems my Trust have made the lovely decision to stop offering female sterilisations and only offer vasectomies instead.

Only DP doesn't want to be sterilized as he's younger than me (I'm fine with this), and I've now tried the combined pill, single pill and implant all with side effects I'm not willing to spend my life coping with. If they don't suit me I doubt the Mirena will either, nor the coil because it causes heavier periods. I'm 38, I have two kids, I'm done. What does that leave, the diaphragm with its relatively high failure rate?

AIBU to think this is really unfair?

Yeah course it’s an answer.
It’s the only 100% method. There’s plenty of ways to have sexual pleasure with each other that don’t risk pregnancy.

So glad I got mine done 12 years back. They asked me why I wanted it, when it would be easier for dh to have a vasectomy. We were only 30 years old back then. If we split (and we did, actually) he would have loved more kids. I however, had PND twice, SPD to the point of being unable to walk the length of my short street, and a PPH after my youngest. There was no way I wanted another baby. I never really got on with hormonal contraceptive, and tbh, I wanted that final line drawn under my child bearing. I could see me getting broody after a few years and going for another baby and I would not have coped.

This past year I've had issues with fibroids. The mirena was suggested as a miracle cure and despite my misgivings I agreed to it. Well, after months of bleeding, the fucking thing fell out and I was delighted. I wanted an ablation, instead the gynae gave me more hormone treatment. So I've had another three months of night sweats, no libido, spots, weight gain etc. I do think the mirena is pushed far more than it ought to be. It should be an option, not the go-to solution to everything womb related.

But as previous posters say, as is always said, if millions of men were suffering from heavy, painful, sometimes incapacitating, regular bleeding and were told that the only ways to manage it involved having your hormones toyed with until your whole personality was affected, things would be viewed quite differently.

Of course not having sex is the most effective form of contraception. Of course there are many forms of pleasure other than penetrative sex. Is that really a long term solution?

Er ravingroo it's not because we can't be arsed with contraception. I was sterilised because by the age of 41 I hadn't found a single contraceptive method ( including mirena) that didn't turn me into an anxious depressed hysterical hormonal nightmare. I tried them all. I had scares with condoms and found my diaphragm difficult and painful to remove. By the way op, it's worked brilliantly for me. It's been the end of a 25 year ongoing nightmare to find the holy grail. I've had no ill effects at all.

And BTW the bloody mirena was the worst of all my experiences, by far.

It’s just a suggestion- for some people it Works. If hormones aren’t suitable and surgery isn’t available or wanted then avoiding PIV long term is fine if they seriously don’t want an unwanted pregnancy.
You can increase how effective condoms are by also avoiding fertile days and pulling out.

I forgot to mention in my other post but I had my Mirena put in at a sexual health clinic (GP not an option as they didn't do them regularly enough?) they told me at the time if I decided I wanted removed earlier to just give them a call.

Hope you get on okay with it OP and you don't have any issues having it taken out if you do change your mind.

I got pregnant on the pill not once but twice.I was offered a sterilisation as the obstetrician said another pregnancy would kill me. A vasectomy wasn't preferred as there was no guarantee that we would still together during all my child bearing years. I have had no pain but was advised that in some, very rare cases the tubes reconnect and the odd person does get pregnant in their late ,40s.

It's really a cost cutting exercise as vasectomies are cheaper

@itsbetterthanabox

Those of use who need sterilisation for other reasons shouldn't have to fight for it in a way that's related to sex!

Not having PIV sex won't cure my menstrual disorder yet I'm not deemed capable of making the decision to have no more children because I don't have a male partner.

Ironically, given one particularly splendid GP I spoke to said "oh of course you're infertile so you could rely on that" and yet wouldn't refer me for an ablation on the strength of that infertility because it's "never 100%".

This is all quite tragic. I feel empowered by being sterilised. No worries about pregnancy. No decisions to make re termination or emergency contraception. No more pills or coils or caps or condoms ever.

Just Identity as male, you can get testosterone prescribed on the NHS (it is your human right, apparently) and then get a hysterectomy, as cross sex hormones increase your cancer risk. No one will question whether you might change your mind later on, even if you are in your early twenties. Sorted.

In all seriousness OP you have a 2 day window every month . Try and avoid those 2 days and all is good . I really don’t think you need to worry too much about contraception at our age . Try a more natural method and ditch the chemicals is my advice

Part of the reason for the reluctance to use female sterilisation is that it has higher risk of failure than hormonal contraception/copper IUD and also a much higher risk of failure than vasectomy- and costs significantly more. So less effective/more likely to fail, higher risk of complications and more expensive.

All in all, I can see why funding may be under "exceptional case" only, where all forms of hormonal contraception and copper IUD have failed or are contra-indicated and vasectomy is not an option.

In an ideal "NHS world" everyone would be able to access any and every treatment available- assuming it is likely to be effective and not harmful (or at least the balance of risk vs benefit suggest the risk is worthwhile). But we are not in an ideal situation financially and tough decisions are having to be made. I'd much rather we weren't in this situation, of course...

By the way I have not used contraceptives for years and use withdrawal /rhythm method . I had 2 kids naturally and an abortion in my early 20s

So I don’t say that flippantly or maliciously but would you consider a fertility app and ditch everything ?

Look the trans debates do my head in but the way they are coming up here are offensive. Nobody would get away with saying,say, on a social housing thread, to 'tell them youre muslim/eastern european/lesbian/disabled or whatever' and you will get a house and jump the queue. That would be racist or disableist or homophobic. So back off with the trans comments.
Stop.
The 2 day window is a myth. Sperm can live 5 days. So 5 days prior to ovulation can be high risk and 2 days after until the egg is wasted. It isnt about not having sex for 2 days a month.

Definitely not - 3 unplanned.pregnancies (2 using contraception), with one mc, one DD and one termination, I'm not relying on any natural methods!

Fair enough ! I don’t think I have enough sex to make this a risk anyway but another abortion

Onwards hey

Ironically i havent had sex once since being sterilised

Condoms?

It’s 6 days I stand corrected

I don’t have enough Sex either

How long Bum 😡?

ITA with OP. I got pregnant first time 10 times, including while using contraception. I lost 8 of the pregnancies. Eventually, I had IVF - and got twins first time. By the time I gave birth to DDs, with only gas and air due to a very quick labour, I had absolutely had enough of (twin) pregnancy and everything that goes with it!

I asked for sterilisation; but recognised that if we ever split up, DH might want more children with 2nd wife, whereas I never wanted any more pregnancies with anybody! I had a tubal ligation, in keyhole surgery as a day case. I have never had any after effects, and given how fertile I was, consider it must have been cheaper than say another miscarriage with emergency admission via A & E and ERPC! It is nonsense IMO to say it is major surgery - a heavy blood loss and ERPC, left me feeling far worse every time!

Unlike vasectomies female sterilization is a major surgery

No it isn't. It's a teeny cut in your belly button and a procedure that takes minutes. I did have a general but a very light one. I was only out for a very short time maybe 20 mins if that. I went home a couple of hours later and didn't take any other painkillers other than whatever topical painkillers they used during the op (if any!). It was uncomfy and felt like a bad period but that was it. I was up and about the next day and whilst I was careful I felt fine. If I had thought about it I would have asked if it was possible to have it done with a local anesthetic rather than a general one.

I love the fact I'm sterilized. It's a fantastic feeling not having to worry about contraception. I also love the fact it works instantly.

I understand there are some issues with some types of female sterilization but I not sure about some of the facts on this thread.

OP, I'd consider paying privately if that is a possibility for you.

^this. Didnt feel major to me either.
Mind you neither did my c section.

Same neverever. The clip method is generally used now as it’s safest, has the least complications and causes the least permanent damage (although it should be TREATED as permanent, the success rate in the private sector for reversal using this method is around 70% in women under 40)

The ESure is another story and I think that’s where many of the horror stories come from. Female sterilisation is day surgery and quick recovery.

Sorry if ive missed the reason but why can’t you use c