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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's incredibly unfair my Trust have stopped doing female s terilisations?

171 replies

Thurlow · 02/01/2018 08:42

I was doing some reading before a doctor's appointment later today and it seems my Trust have made the lovely decision to stop offering female sterilisations and only offer vasectomies instead.

Only DP doesn't want to be sterilized as he's younger than me (I'm fine with this), and I've now tried the combined pill, single pill and implant all with side effects I'm not willing to spend my life coping with. If they don't suit me I doubt the Mirena will either, nor the coil because it causes heavier periods. I'm 38, I have two kids, I'm done. What does that leave, the diaphragm with its relatively high failure rate?

AIBU to think this is really unfair?

OP posts:
Original poster
Thurlow · 02/01/2018 12:02

I'm sure it is but somehow it's not in my mind. I'll need to talk about this more with my GP I think, who fortunately is very lovely.

After this chat I think I'm going to ask for the implant out and the diaphragm and see how that goes for a while.

OP posts:
Original poster
Thurlow · 02/01/2018 12:02

Yes Street!

OP posts:
Mabelface · 02/01/2018 12:03

I never got in with the pill, was refused the depo due to family history and I'm now on my 3rd mirena coil. I've not had a period for 13 years and the only side effect I've ever had from it is sore boobs, but I can live with that, and it's only now and again. They won't sedate you for it, but mine are done under a general anaesthetic as I have a tendency to go into shock. This is the only contraceptive I'll ever use now for reliability and ease. It can also reduce menopause symptoms when the time comes.

Jigglyguff · 02/01/2018 12:18

My trust won't even do male sterilisation. Actually, they have cut a lot of services. It's just the way the NHS is going under this government.

Youcanstayundermyumbrella · 02/01/2018 12:50

I agree wholeheartedly with the right for women to choose whether or not to be sterilised, or to use a particular type of contraception.

Having said that, and things being what they are, I would recommend the copper coil, OP. I don't react well to hormonal contraception and have had no side effects at all from the coil, not even heavier periods. Insertion for me was very quick with perhaps 30 seconds of cramps (I took paracetamol beforehand) and no pain afterwards. I know you've had C-sections but it's my understanding that the cervix is different as much from pregnancy as giving birth. I would also think that your cervix will have dilated with a termination.

MyDcAreMarvel · 02/01/2018 13:42

Today 10:57 Iprefercoffeetotea

I think it's the right decision female sterilisation costs the NHS much more money and carries more risks

Unwanted children cost the country a lot more.

Yes, however male sterilisation is available cheaply. The op can't get accidentally pregnant on her own.

MyDcAreMarvel · 02/01/2018 13:44

Today 10:27 JacquesHammer

"Well that doesn't really help those of us who want sterilisation for other reasons"

No , it doesn't but in the op's case there is no reason for her to be sterilised rather than her dp.

Ieatcake · 02/01/2018 13:44

Yabu. It's not a simple op and the NHS can't fund everything.

Dermymc · 02/01/2018 14:05

The copper coil is really not bad.

You should definitely try a coil before considering surgery.

Tbh I'd make people pay for non essential operations where other options are available.

squiddled · 02/01/2018 14:11

whats the problem with a condom?

Youcanstayundermyumbrella · 02/01/2018 14:12

Tbh I'd make people pay for non essential operations where other options are available.

Where does that stop? Why should the NHS pay for a coil insertion when the OP could use condoms? Or just abstain from sex? Who will judge what is clinically appropriate under your scheme? I don't think the NHS right now is funding much unnecessary treatment; it's not funding lots that could be considered necessary as the cataract example up thread alone proves.

JacquesHammer · 02/01/2018 14:12

No , it doesn't but in the op's case there is no reason for her to be sterilised rather than her dp

The OP is a person in her own right

IrkThePurist · 02/01/2018 14:14

The majority of voters decided they dont want the NHS, and this is the result. Many operations are no longer available.

squiddled
whats the problem with a condom?

condoms have such a high failure rate they are not suitable for women who have been told not to get pregnant.
So they are not suitable for women who do not want to get pregnant.

JacquesHammer · 02/01/2018 14:15

Tbh I'd make people pay for non essential operations where other options are available

Who decides what is non essential?

HelenaDove · 02/01/2018 14:20

A health professional wrote on a thread on here a while ago that breast reconstruction after cancer is also being rationed.

And now this.........................of course there is no misogyny involved in these decisions. Move along...........nothing to see here. Hmm

sinceyouask · 02/01/2018 14:23

I was sterilised in November and had the mirena removed at the same time. I feel so much better for it. It was my second mirena and had been in for almost 2 years so I gave it a really good go and despite what people say about the amount of hormones released being tiny and so it can't possibly cause problems, it really did. Since removal I have started losing weight despite no lifestyle changes and the excesses of Christmas, I haven't had spots, the cramping and pelvic pain is gone, the headaches have gone, and I have had a period without experiencing that horrible storm of rage and anxiety and bleak sadness. Oh, and my libido is back to normal.
It's really unfair, op, that this option is not open to you. It damn well should be.

MammaTJ · 02/01/2018 14:24

When I had DD1, 'D'H said he had enough, did not want any more, told me I would have to be sterilised, as he did not 'want his bits messed with'. Fine, I agreed, albeit under duress, and went to hospital for the operation. I was admitted, he left, then 4 people surrounded my bed, demanding I sign consent for open surgery, which would not have suited. I only wanted keyhole surgery, or not at all. So, I called my husband to pick me up to go home.

7 years later, he left me, after having had an affair for quite some time before hand.

I met DP and had DD2 and DS.

When the initial doctor I saw advised me that men leave women all the time and I might want to have a further family with someone else, I scoffed, but it turned out he was right.

Anyway, back to you OP. I found the copper coil suited me well, while the mirena really messed me up!

Youcanstayundermyumbrella · 02/01/2018 14:27

Well, Helena, you could argue that the breast reconstruction is clinically unnecessary, and a non-surgical alternative is just to use padded bras/swimsuits. Dermymc will have to explain who makes decisions in his/her new scheme on matters like this.

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 02/01/2018 14:28

I think it’s outrageous if removal of a coil on demand is being refused. (You shouldn’t have to, but maybe to cut out all the crap the trick would be to say you wanted it removed to try for another pregnancy- and then ‘change your mind’ a while later)

sinceyouask · 02/01/2018 14:28

And why are people describing female sterilisation as not simple and a major operation? It's more often than not day surgery. It usually takes about 20 mins to do the procedure and they send you home as soon as you've done a wee and feel OK. As surgeries go it really isn't a big deal. Even the NHS website says "It can be a fairly minor operation, with many women returning home the same day."

Original poster
Thurlow · 02/01/2018 14:31

I don't ever want to be pregnant again so I am happy to take responsibility for my own ability or non-ability to get pregnant.

I can see the argument that it's no essential when there are many alternatives that suit most women, but I resent the choice to have the option taken away from me.

OP posts:
HelenaDove · 02/01/2018 14:32

Mamma So that doctor thinks that women shouldnt be sterilised on the basis that men can be selfish tossers. Funny how it always comes down to men.

SpottedOnMN · 02/01/2018 14:36

I suspect I'll get the same side effects as I do with other hormonal contraception. These are lowering my mood significantly and also a complete loss of libido.

I had these symptoms with the pill whereas Mirena has been perfect. Giving it fitted or removed is an unpleasant five minutes, but worth it for 5 years of hassle-free contraception and (for me) no periods.

Given the stats on outcomes from female sterilisation I think you may be aiming your fears in the wrong direction.

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 02/01/2018 14:38

Helena I think it’s more about the number of couples the drs see where one partner has been permanently sterilised and want a reversal, which is often not successful. It’s no different for men as well though.

TitsalinaBumSqoosh · 02/01/2018 14:41

I asked to be sterilised, I'm 30, I have 4 children, 1 disabled, 1 autistic out of the 4. I have also fallen pregnant countless times whilst using hormonal contraceptives. I would happily use condoms but my mood swings leave me suicidal and psychotic for 2-3 days a month.
I was denied and told that the implant would sort everything out... it's been 6 months and I'm miserable, I've gained 2 stone and I'm like a slightly irritated zombie all the time, I think it works as a contraceptive because the thought of sex leaves me cold and my skin is sore to the touch so yeah, in that respect it's working at least.
I'm going to ask for it to be removed and just take the risk with the who psychotic suicidal thing and hope DH can keep me safe during those days, he offered to have a vasectomy but that doesn't help the mood issues.