Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's incredibly unfair my Trust have stopped doing female s terilisations?

171 replies

Thurlow · 02/01/2018 08:42

I was doing some reading before a doctor's appointment later today and it seems my Trust have made the lovely decision to stop offering female sterilisations and only offer vasectomies instead.

Only DP doesn't want to be sterilized as he's younger than me (I'm fine with this), and I've now tried the combined pill, single pill and implant all with side effects I'm not willing to spend my life coping with. If they don't suit me I doubt the Mirena will either, nor the coil because it causes heavier periods. I'm 38, I have two kids, I'm done. What does that leave, the diaphragm with its relatively high failure rate?

AIBU to think this is really unfair?

OP posts:
Headofthehive55 · 02/01/2018 09:35

The pill (either sort) didn't suit me but merina did.

You may be going peri menopausal, hence the low mood etc.

thelastredwinegum · 02/01/2018 09:36

I have the Mirena. I haven't had children, having it put in wasn't the most comfortable but once it was in that pain went. I did have period like pain for a day or 2. One period after then some spotting but that's been it for 4 years.
It's affected me a lot less than microgynon did.

When I was researching it I found that there were a lot less positive reviews of it but i did find them and thought it was worth a try.

missyB1 · 02/01/2018 09:41

Hormonal contraceptives never suited me either so DH and I have always used condoms, would you consider that OP?

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 02/01/2018 09:43

I’ve had a really good experience with the mirena too, for 8 years now- I’m on my 2nd one. It might be worth giving it a try before ruling it out as it really suits some people and you don’t know until you try it. I had bad cramping and occasional fainting before this during menstruation. It took 9 months for the first one to settle down for me, but no periods at all now, it’s brilliant and has changed my life. I plan to continue on through the menopause until I don’t need any more as it should prevent the menstrual issues around that too.

demirose87 · 02/01/2018 09:50

It isn't major surgery and you're unlikely to die having it done. It's day surgery. Obviously it has it's risks as any surgery does but it isn't major surgery.
I've had it done myself. I had it done during my c section as I have had four sections and I don't want anymore children. It took an extra ten minutes to tie my tubes and I was awake the whole time, them talking me through the process.
But usually it's just keyhole surgery and you're able to return home the same day. I haven't had any side effects from the operation and none were explained to me prior, other than there's a 1 in 100 chance of becoming pregnant.

MsJolly · 02/01/2018 09:51

You could do some research and find another local trust that does them and ask to be referred there-you do have a legal right to choose your hospital and surgeon (to a certain extent depending on waiting lists etc)

Original poster
Thurlow · 02/01/2018 09:53

We do have the option to use a mix of condoms, diaphragm and natural planning methods and I will use those if we have to. I have fallen pregnant several times using different methods of contraception, both hormonal and not, and have terminated so I do prefer the idea of just never having to worry about it again.

Going back to a PP, despite having two children and examinations and all that malarkey I am for some reason pretty terrified of having the coil or Mirena fitted. Sedation is DEFINITELY preferable in my book, as illogical as that will sound to some people. Will the NHS support that though?

I don't think I'm premenopausal as these moods and loss of libido coincide exactly with taking or not taking hormonal contraceptive

OP posts:
Seasonseatings · 02/01/2018 09:56

I had the standard copper coil and had no issues with periods, maybe worth a try before discounting?

I took some Ibuprofen before appointment for both insertion and removal and it wasn't painful.

I only know one person who has had the op done and she was in pain for a long time after and gained a load of weight.

Gizzymum · 02/01/2018 10:01

If they will still do the sterilisation in "exceptional circumstances" I think you'd have to try all other options first unfortunately. Even if you try to have the coil etc fitted but are unable to withstand the procedure, you would have tried it and therefore have ruled it out as an option. Perhaps speak to a GP at your practice who has a special interest in women's health to discuss your options.

differentnameforthis · 02/01/2018 10:06

The point here isn't the fact that it is a "major" op, or the cost, the point is that once again, choice has been removed from women.

I have had tubal ligation, wanted it done after I had my dd2. I KNEW I did not want anymore children. My dr refused to refer me TWICE on the basis that I was "reacting to a traumatic birth" (I wasn't, it was an elective section).

In the meantime I fell pregnant, which ended in a termination. He refereed me then!!

EVERY single op has it's risks.
Can you imagine the uproar if they stop doing vasectomies?

differentnameforthis · 02/01/2018 10:10

I think it’s ridiculous thar you want such a major op just because you don’t want to use contraception. Erm...what other reason (aside from medical issues) is there?? That is exactly why I had mine done. I hate hormonal contraceptives.

Oly5 · 02/01/2018 10:11

You have a legal right (the NHS constitution) to be treated at a trust of your choosing.
Just find a trust that does then and get your GP to refer you to that trust. You might have to be pushy, but it’s your right.
It doesn’t matter whether your GP is a member of the local CCG

Oblomov18 · 02/01/2018 10:12

So many threads on here of women fighting for sterilisation. So glad I got mine done years ago. Best thing I did!!
Are the stats that bad? Really? I find that hard to accept.

Oblomov18 · 02/01/2018 10:14

Dying on the table Roo. ShockOh purlease. It's not as major as a c-section, recovery is quick. It's not as major as you are making it sound.,

MyDcAreMarvel · 02/01/2018 10:17

I think it's the right decision female sterilisation costs the NHS much more money and carries more risks.
You and your dp are a couple, if you have finished having dc then so has he.

Snowdrop18 · 02/01/2018 10:20

I agree with you

also it's that thing that they aren't allowing women to make a choice - what if you did end up with someone else? That's okay for the menz I guess.

I'd be very annoyed about this and be writing to everyone in sight.

NewYearNiki · 02/01/2018 10:22

Why is all this your responsibility?

Your dp wont get sterilized as he is younger than you and presumably means by that in case you break up and he wants more dc with another woman Hmm

Suppose he wont wear condoms either.

Tell him to deal with it but you've had the dc and suffered the side effects of hormonal contraception and it is his turn. He can wear condoms and like it or lump it.

Original poster
Thurlow · 02/01/2018 10:23

This is all very interesting and helpful because it's making me understand that I'm quite scared of a lot of the options Sad

I'm scared of the insertion of the coil or Mirena, and then having to go through it again if it doesn't work. But I'm also scared of falling pregnant again and having to have an abortion. And equally I'm worried about the long term effect of having a compromised sex life either because of a low libido or a fear of getting pregnant because the condom splits or the diaphragm doesn't work

OP posts:
JacquesHammer · 02/01/2018 10:27

You and your dp are a couple, if you have finished having dc then so has he

Well that doesn't really help those of us who want sterilisation for other reasons

NewYearNiki · 02/01/2018 10:27

Yes you have genuine fears and that is why it is your dps turn to wear a condom.

Use a diaphragm too and it is unlikely both a condom and diaphragm will fail.

I'd be more worried about your dp refusing to get a vasectomy in case he wants more kids with another woman. I hope your finances are in order as you're not married.

Capelin · 02/01/2018 10:27

Another one here recommending condoms. No side effects (I hate hormonal contraceptives), and I’ve been using them for 25 years without an unplanned pregnancy.

grannytomine · 02/01/2018 10:27

So much stuff is being rationed on the NHS. I think it is quite scary. I need cataract surgery but I've been told I will only get one eye done, 3 years ago it would have been both. Although I have problems apparently it isn't bad enough for treatment yet. I am my husband's carer so not sure how that is going to work. I am going to put some money aside to get it done privately but that isn't an option for everyone. I wonder how many broken hips they are going to have to treat because of elderly people waiting for treatment having falls..

Original poster
Thurlow · 02/01/2018 10:30

DP is very happy having two kids with me and happy to support me if I chose to get sterilized. But lets to honest, I could get run over by a bus tomorrow. He's still young enough that he might meet someone else and want more kids. And it's absolutely fine for him to make that decision

OP posts:
villamariavintrapp · 02/01/2018 10:30

Female sterilisation just isn't as effective as a contraception. Failure rate is about 1:200, as opposed to 1:2000 for male sterilisation, but it's much higher risk, more complications etc.

NewYearNiki · 02/01/2018 10:33

And it's absolutely fine for him to make that decision

And it is absolutely fine for the nhs to ration non essential treatment. As a previous poster said they are leaving people with cataracts until they are practically blind and then only doing one eye.

You have flatly said no to every alternative offered. Shrugs.