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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Has your DP ever called you fat?

118 replies

iloveMiWadi · 02/01/2018 01:28

In a heated arguement today DP called me a fat ugly cow.. I am fat(size 16) and he knows this would hurt my feelings. He apologised a lot afterwards and said it was because I hurt his feelings. I didn't mention appearance though he's never called me fat before and it feels horrible to have him say that.

OP posts:
LessMoneyMoreProblems · 02/01/2018 01:29

Tell him to get fucked. You don't say that to some one you love.

LineysRumBaba · 02/01/2018 01:30

No. How horrible.

LineysRumBaba · 02/01/2018 01:30

No. How horrible.

TrojansAreSmegheads · 02/01/2018 01:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IntoTheFloodAgain · 02/01/2018 01:32

no never. what did you say to him before that?

Original poster
iloveMiWadi · 02/01/2018 01:33

He can get a bit excited at times and has history of ADHD. He's a great partner in general and we do get on like a house on fire.. but I feel so crap knowing my own boyfriend called me that. We're together nearly 2 years. Sometimes I do wish I could leave him but I think of all the good bits of the relationship

OP posts:
Original poster
iloveMiWadi · 02/01/2018 01:34

Nothing too bad. Just chatting about money it was a mild arguement until all of a sudden he said that cause he was angry I was getting down his throat

OP posts:
Rhynswynd · 02/01/2018 01:35

My dh calls me fat all the time. I am 41 weeks pregnant and it is a thing between us that he can only say it when I am pregnant. He doesn't mean it and would stop the very second I ceased to find him amusing. He finds me deadly attractive at all times in reality.

If my dh ever called me a fat cow he would be out on his arse.

Original poster
iloveMiWadi · 02/01/2018 01:35

We live with a relative of mine and he was angry that I didn't have to pay rent and he did, I said I'm family that's why, and then he called me the names

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Bellamuerte · 02/01/2018 01:36

You know whether you're fat or not so surely DP's opinion is irrelevant? I'm more upset when my DH insists I look ok and I know fine well I'm fat. If you're happy with your size then it shouldn't bother you if someone points out what you already know.

Original poster
iloveMiWadi · 02/01/2018 01:36

He's never said anything like it before and I genuinely think it was just him firing shit at me in an arguement trying to annoy me because I was pretty calm..

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 02/01/2018 01:37

He wants a free ride and calls you fat...

LTB.

HelenaDove · 02/01/2018 01:38

So how do you explain the ugly comment Bella? Bit victim blamey dont you think?

Ahh January on AIBU.

HuskyMcClusky · 02/01/2018 01:38

Err, no. It doesn’t matter whether you actually are fat. Someone who is supposed to love you calling you a ‘fat ugly cow’ is utterly disgusting.

He doesn’t love or respect you, and I’d be done.

mathanxiety · 02/01/2018 01:39

My exH did.

Note 'exH'.

nevereverafter · 02/01/2018 01:39

If he is calling you a fat ugly cow after being in a relationship for two years then I don't hold out much hope he will improve. It's an incredibly nasty thing to say and it sounds like he said it because he knows it would really hurt you.

Have you got kids?

If not then I'd leave him and if you have then I'd still consider it.

My DH and I have been together over 35 years and he has never once said something like that. We've argued and raised our voices but we've never deliberately tried to hurt one another.

HelenaDove · 02/01/2018 01:39

Ive been with my DH for almost 26 years. Ive been a size 28
Am now a 14/16 Not once have i ever had comments like this.

FrivolouslyFancifulFannie · 02/01/2018 01:41

Yes, by the ex, got called a fat ugly bitch, i was 81/2 stone Confused

Original poster
iloveMiWadi · 02/01/2018 01:41

No kids. Live together since year 1 of relationship. My first proper relationship so I feel a lot more attached and as if I 'cant' leave him cause I love him so much , or maybe think I do.. or love the routine

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 02/01/2018 01:42

He's not a keeper. Sorry.

VelvetSpoon · 02/01/2018 01:45

My Ex regularly told me I was fat, ugly, ddisgusting . No one else would want me etc. One of the manyvreadpnx he's my Ex.

My bf hasn't called me fat but has said I have put on weight (true) and should try to loss it as I would look better (also true, so I can't object).

VelvetSpoon · 02/01/2018 01:46

That should say one of the many reasons he's my Ex.

Whinesalot · 02/01/2018 01:47

My dh has referred to my weight in conversations but in all our married life we have never ever hurled a personal insult at each other during an argument. You can row without throwing insults. That could well be a deal breaker for me, especially this early on in your relationship. Such a lack of respect. You argue about the issue at hand and don't resort to personal comments. You need to learn to communicate effectively.

HelenaDove · 02/01/2018 01:47

Spoon he has still said its so you will "look better" in his eyes so thinking of his dick rather than your health.

Whinesalot · 02/01/2018 01:48

Sorry didn't finish - communicate effectively or dump him.

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