Has your DP ever called you fat?

[iloveMiWadi]

In a heated arguement today DP called me a fat ugly cow.. I am fat(size 16) and he knows this would hurt my feelings. He apologised a lot afterwards and said it was because I hurt his feelings. I didn't mention appearance though he's never called me fat before and it feels horrible to have him say that.

Yes but not in a nasty way and It's true I am under no illusions about my size I am over weight.
However if he said what yours did my feelings would because hurt.

BeverleyGoldberg I agree another poster thought there was a difference between calling someone a cow or saying they were behaving like a cow I didn’t understand the difference. Any name calling is an insult in my mind.

Oh OP what an ugly, hateful thing to have said to you by someone who supposedly loves you. No wonder that hurts. That is not something that someone who loves you says.

I've had similar said to me by an abusive BF. I suppose I was supposed to cry or beg or dress up or starve myself. I said "bye then" and ditched the negging cunt.

You shouldn't hear this from someone who loves you. His behaviour is ugly. You are not.

My DH would never say that and live

DH never , previous significant other would not say fat but would encourage me to lose weight if he thought I was gaining weight, at the time I was actually in proportion , a the lower end of normal usually so even when I put on a few pounds I was still slim. It was only in the last few years that I've understood that this affected me and when he dumped me I put all the blame on food and ate far too much.

Unfortunately comments like this stay tucked away to attack you when you are most vulnerable

Never ever in our decade together. And I am quite a bit overweight (going to change that this year!). In all the arguments we’ve had we’ve never thrown personal insults about appearance or personality or anything.

I would never stay with anyone who called me a ‘fat ugly cow’.

I'm the poster who said there is a difference between calling someone a cow, and saying they are behaving like a cow dh wouldn't dare be so rude as to say either or he would be ripped to shreds It's the same difference between saying to a child that something they did is stupid and actually calling the child stupid. Neither is nice but one is slightly more acceptable than the other.

Thanks for the replies everyone. It's like in my mind I know this relationship has to end but the reality of it upsets me deeply and scares me , I'm in denial about it all..

Much easier to stay comfy and avoid change but I feel like I'm missing out on life..

In jest, yes. And even then I can still be a bit touchy about it!

If he threw an insult like that at me during an argument, he’d be out on his arse.

I can see why you want to avoid change, but it doesn't sound like you're very comfy. I don't think you're missing out on life OP I think you're missing out on a happy life.

Change can be a good thing

Again thanks everyone for replies. This relationship died a long time ago I think. I need the courage to break it off and I'm almost certain it will be very soon this week.

Lots of things building up in my mind as to why I don't want this person in my life anymore, even though it's gonna be horrible thinking of the good times I'll need to realise.. even my work friends tell me to "get rid of him!"

Behind the rare time mean person he was always such a polite lovely guy, with just bad tendencies to be quite childish and hard to argue with as well as thinking he's better than everyone else when he sits around all day... these next few days gonna be tough

Also just found texts on his phone to a girl I knew he'd been snap chatting talkingformally , but I realised it had been more than that, they were both talking briefly about sexual preferences and he said something along the lines of I'm not asking because I'm horny or something.

I cheated on him before but we got over it and decided to move on and forgive. This does not excuse that. Although I don't blame him for sexting elsewhere as I have shown no interest lately. Cause in my mind all this is happening.

TBH it shows I need to end it as I wasn't even upset about him briefly sexing somebody. Almost relieved I have another reason to end it. :(

Before any one mentions the sexting thing that's not what's made me wanna end it. It's him in general lately I think I have grown to hate the man :( really gonna need mumsnet support.

Call him tiny prick. All is fair after he insulted your appearance. Not helpful but I'm a mardy moo.

You deserve so much better than this; be brave and end it today if you haven't already

No, that was cruel. He should be able to have an argument with you without trying to hurt you. Hope you're ok OP xxx

cause I love him so much , or maybe think I do.. or love the routine

Goodness, please consider what you would want to say to a daughter, or close friend who was involved with the sort of man you describe

I cheated on him before ...

For me, this is a sign that you are just not happy with this man. You deserve a much better life, all the best.