Page 2 | Has your DP ever called you fat?

iloveMiWadi · 2018-01-02T01:28:20+00:00

In a heated arguement today DP called me a fat ugly cow.. I am fat(size 16) and he knows this would hurt my feelings. He apologised a lot afterwards and said it was because I hurt his feelings. I didn't mention appearance though he's never called me fat before and it feels horrible to have him say that.

Crispbutty · 02/01/2018 01:52

My ex quite often.

My dp has never insulted my appearance in an argument. My intelligence at times (justifiable as well I have to admit but never a cruel personal insult and I’ve nevef done it to him. So no you’re not being unreasonable at all. I would be very hurt and unlikely to want to stay with someone who spoke to me like that - hence the ex part of my first sentence.

CranjisMcBasketball · 02/01/2018 01:52

He is telling you who is really is. Listen.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 02/01/2018 02:13

You’ve only been together 2 years, he’s your first ‘love’ but already you wish you were brave enough to leave him. Now he’s called you a fat, ugly, cow...and thinks your family shouldn’t be charging him rent?,

Pull on your Big Girl Pants and do what YOU know is right, send him on his way. You’ll meet someone far nicer. Truly.

AnUtterIdiot · 02/01/2018 05:18

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chocolatestrawberries · 02/01/2018 05:18

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BattleCuntGalactica · 02/01/2018 05:39

He belongs in the fucking bin, preferably one with a compacter facility in it that spits out rubbish in little puck sized lumps which are easily composted or something, i.e DUMP HIM.

maras2 · 02/01/2018 05:45

I've always been, what my granny would have said, 'the full width of my knickers'. But, in nearly 50 years together my DH has never once called me fat, ugly or any other name used to cause pain and hurt.
I've never name called anyone and neither has he.
Your partner is very rude and well out of order.
Dump him and have lots of from me.

MsHopey · 02/01/2018 05:47

I am fat. I hate it, I keep trying to do something about it, but it seems I don't have much willpower. Me and my DH have been together 8 years, in that time I have went from a size 12 to a 22. It kills me thinking about it and he knows how insecure it makes me.
In arguments we shout, swear, and in the really rough ones, walk out so neither of us say or do something we would regret.
But he has never and would never use my deepest insecurities in a fight, especially a fight which really has nothing to do with the fact I'm fat.
He does worry about my health, and how sad and shit I feel about myself, and does say things like "when does our diet start again" and he genuinely eats healthy with me. Using it in a fight is so wrong.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 02/01/2018 05:47

Fuck no! Like it was said earlier, personal insults do not happen in rows.
Reading between the lines though, there's more to it than that though?

Doobigetta · 02/01/2018 05:50

No, never. He wouldn't dream of it. My ex used to on a fairly regular basis, both in private and in front of other people. It was one of the main reasons I eventually dumped him. It doesn't make any difference, but I've never been bigger than a size 12.

Snowysky2000 · 02/01/2018 06:22

I've put on 3 1/2 st in the last year due to medication and am slowly losing it. My ex commented the other day that I was losing weight, and I said yes I was getting fat, and he said well yes you did put on some weight. It even he as an ex didn't say yes you were fat.
That's a really low blow. Sorry lovely but he's not a keeper. If he starts like this early on in the relationship where do the insults then stop?

Margaritaanyone89 · 02/01/2018 06:26

My partner likes slender women, I knew this before we got into a relationship. I was a size 6 when I met him, and unfortunately I've gone up to a size 10. My partner doesn't call me 'fat' but he'll make remarks like, "you're heavier then before" if he picks me up, nicknames me buffalo and calls me a pig if we argue. If I ever talk about being slimmer, he says "it was so sexy".

Granted he shouldn't make remarks and in an ideal world we would find our partner irresistibly attractive whatever they looked like. But this isn't an ideal world. My partner puts great effort into his appearance, so I try hard to make sure I don't go too big. I'm making my way down to an 8 and sticking with that!

Shoxfordian · 02/01/2018 06:50

Margarita he calls you a pig at size 10? Wtf.

I'm a size 22; my boyfriend never calls me anything other than beautiful, everyday.

Please don't put up with this shit; and please know there's a really fast way to lose 12 or 13 useless stone.

BigGreenOlives · 02/01/2018 07:06

Ask him to leave, sounds as if he is unhappy with a few things and the best way to solve the problem is to move on. You don’t need to give him the opportunity to change, he has gone too far over the line.

Stompythedinosaur · 02/01/2018 07:08

The thing is that "fat" isn't just a descriptor, he said it to hurt you and to control you.

No, my dp has never said something like that, even when we argue (even though I am fat).

You can leave him. There are better people out there than him.

HuskyMcClusky · 02/01/2018 07:09

he'll make remarks like, "you're heavier then before" if he picks me up, nicknames me buffalo and calls me a pig if we argue.

Wtf? You’re okay with this?

Granted he shouldn't make remarks and in an ideal world we would find our partner irresistibly attractive whatever they looked like. But this isn't an ideal world.

He can not find you irresistibly atttactive but still refrain from calling you a buffalo and a pig. This is perfectly possible, and is what kind and decent people do.

God some people on here have low standards.

LazyDailyMailJournos · 02/01/2018 07:16

As ever I find myself baffled by the sheer volume of women who will put up with being called names and having very nasty and personal comments directed at them.

DH and I have had some humongous rows over the years - including a couple where we haven't spoken for the best part of a week. But funnily enough we manage to argue without calling each other names and without making really nasty remarks about each other.

Part of being an adult is being able to argue your point without resorting to name-calling and being personal. I bet these people don't behave the same way at work.

Margarita your partner sounds very rude. I can't imagine anything less sexy than a man referring to me as a 'pig' or constantly harping on about my weight.

You say he puts a great deal of effort into his appearance - but what a shame he doesn't seem to be remotely bothered about investing the same amount of time and energy, into having a healthy and balanced relationship where you treat each other with respect.

swingofthings · 02/01/2018 07:16

You had an argument thst got you both very angry. You said something that hurt his feelings and passed the ball back. How about what you told him? Was it true or not? You can't act like the victim if you've done the same thing just before.

I once told me OH in heated argument that I hated him. I later found out thst it had hurt him deeply because he took it literally. What I meant was thgst at thst time his words were hurting me so much I felt thst I hated him but of course I loved him with every breath which is why I felt so hurt because I was scared it could be our last argument (which wasn't but now married and still very much in love).

Ignore words said in anger but if maybe do discuss your weight at some time when you're both calm if you do think it's an issue.

ShotsFired · 02/01/2018 07:22

My OH uses the word fat when we are discussing things like weight, because I am, quite objectively and obviously, very fat. Just like I have blue eyes or size 5 feet.

I don't like hearing the word that much, but I have a bugbear about people using coy silly terms instead, and would loathe being called "curvaceous", "fuller figure" etc even more.

But not once has he ever used it as an insult or aggressively.

mamasiz · 02/01/2018 07:23

No! Never. I’m 7 months pregnant at the moment and dh is always telling me how great I look. LTB. You deserve more.

Trashboat · 02/01/2018 07:24

My partner likes slender women, I knew this before we got into a relationship. I was a size 6 when I met him, and unfortunately I've gone up to a size 10. My partner doesn't call me 'fat' but he'll make remarks like, "you're heavier then before" if he picks me up, nicknames me buffalo and calls me a pig if we argue. If I ever talk about being slimmer, he says "it was so sexy".

Granted he shouldn't make remarks and in an ideal world we would find our partner irresistibly attractive whatever they looked like. But this isn't an ideal world. My partner puts great effort into his appearance, so I try hard to make sure I don't go too big. I'm making my way down to an 8 and sticking with that!

Fucking hell. What a horrid way to live.

I am sorry your partner is a twat, but you really don't have to put up with this if you don't want to. You neither OP.

Can you really live the rest of your life like this?

Fraggledup · 02/01/2018 08:06

Yes my H has, it hurt more than I can tell you. He has a wicked evil tongue and will use anything to hurt me.

He chose to tell me this on my birthday, it's never been the same since.

Please leave this man, it won't work morning very and you'll end up without confidence or self respect.

I know.

usedtogotomars · 02/01/2018 08:08

That’s horrible.

RaspberryOverload · 02/01/2018 08:13

My ex called me fat in so many ways. I am, but I suffer with stress and comfort eating.

I'm now losing weight and dealing with the comfort eating in a sensible way, without all the name calling that pushed me into eating. And he's an ex.

Flyingflipflop · 02/01/2018 08:22

Hmmm. Calling you fat isn’t the best, however you’ve not really explained what you said to him. He obviously was feeling attacked and retaliated. Were you rubbing his nose in it that you’re 'family' and he’s not? Were you making him feel that the roof over his head isn’t secure? He’s just a lodger? The comment hasn’t just come out of the blue.