To not like a teacher at DS's school?

[mumpoints]

Do you all like the teachers at your children's schools? There is this one women (not DS's teacher but involved with his class occasionally) whom I really dislike. She's harsh with the children, has completely different views to myself re speaking to little ones (Year 2 and under) and asks personal questions as if she has a right to know (she asked my age once!)

If it wasn't for the fact she is leaving (hurrah!) I would be very worried as DS would have been going up to her class this year.

Does this happen a lot or is this unusual? I normally get on with most people. I wonder whether I'm being a little overprotective because young children, especially DS, are involved.

I don't like any of the teachers at my sons school. It's a failing academy (WCAT) and I think they found the teachers at the bottom of a bargain basement basket. Unfortunately, all the other schools are full.

There will always be people who you don't like, I don't like some parents 😁

If you think she’s being unprofessional, then raise your concerns through official channels...the school will have a complaints policy that sets out the sequence. We all have likes and dislikes, I have met several parents over the years that I thought of as nasty bullies and disliked as a consequence.

Thank you all, it makes me feel better. NovemberW, I don't know if her behaviour actually constitutes being unprofessional, although her asking questions about my age was rude!

It's just a nasty manner she has. I'm now wondering if her leaving is because she is being pushed but I've never spoken to any other parent about it because we are relatively new and I didn't want to put my foot in it!

Don’t think it’s unusual or unreasonable.

Probably teachers dislike some parents!

I’m so lucky that there’s only been one teacher I haven’t quite taken to with my 2 oldest boys - not dislike as such, but I just adored all the others.
It’s one of my things that I panic about with 3 DS’s who have been in nursery - school from young babies and having loved all of their teachers - youngest is due to nursery soon and ours is closing and I’m devastated at having to form new relationships because everyone at the current one are absolute angels.

Teachers are human beings. Quite often, having 5 children, I meet annoying ones. But they're still good teachers, so I let it go.

I cannot stand the deputy head.

She has been there since the school opened and needs to retire.

She is the reception teacher also, and has made many a child cry - including a 4yo who's work she ripped up in front of the class as it was too scruffy (this happened recently)

She is overly harsh on the poor kids imho and just annoys me with her passive aggressive, squeaky voice.

Luckily dd is in yr 4 now, but this teacher is involved with a lot of the extra curricular activities 🙄

Pengggwn, that was my first thought, that I was being defensive.

Apart from in a group, DS has had little interaction with this woman. He mostly saw her because of rehearsals for the nativity show that was absolutely suberb... but she spoiled it by getting up on stage afterwards and saying it was "awkward in parts". :(

Trashboats, sounds like the same woman!

We all have people we like/dislike/click/don't click with people.

I find I get on with most colleagues. Some irritate the hell out of me and a couple don't bother to do their job well

Equally, i like most parents. They are brilliant and supportive. Some however are the unsupportive, argumentative PITAs who love to tell us how to teach, how to do our job, think that their personal preference on any given issue is worth complaining about.

However, I don't sit in the staff room bitching about students and parents or rating them or speculating about their capacity to parent. I don't expect parents to be forming little bitching clubs about me.

Equally, I think to be speculating about why a teacher is leaving is also quite unkind.
I've seen staff, good staff at that, hounded out because of groups of bitchy parents deciding the rules applied to all pupils except theirs. They complained, speculated about her competency and were generally vile in their conduct. She chose to leave because she had enough fighting and the class had an unqualified non specialist for the rest of the year.

People should spend a bit of time thinking before speculating in my opinion.

So I guess you think I am being unreasonable then MaisyPops!

I didn't like the teacher who told me DD1 had shown no signs of hearing loss, when I had taken her out of class for a hearing test, which she had done badly in, reported back to the teacher, not two weeks before she was saying DD did not understand what she was saying to her.

That was more because of her refusal to accept DD needed help and to be put at the front of the class. DD liked her though, and that mattered more than what I thought!

I don't like all the teachers as my dc has told me things about some of them talking to the children like dirt. Think things like calling the lower ability children stupid and idiots for taking too long with their work (7 yr olds). I complained as my dc was upset to hear it even though it wasn't directed at him and it was admitted that those words were used and it wasn't appropriate.
There are lots of teachers who are lovely too but people need to earn respect not just expect it due to their profession.

Of course you can dislike her, but it isn't really relevant whether or not you like her, as she's there in a professional capacity to teach, not to be your pal. As with work, you need to separate whether she does her job well enough from whether you personally feel fond of her. The latter is just something you may notice, but doesn't need to be acted on.

I came across a few teachers who I was unsure of because they didn't seem to like children all that much. One was quite hurtful to DS, he's 18 now and still remembers Year 4 vividly for all the wrong reasons.

But after that my experience of both DS's teachers has been positive on the whole.

You can't always agree with teachers, you have to let the small stuff go or you would be emailing a fair bit.

Someone asking my age wouldn't bother me though.

Yes. I do think YABU.
She hasn't taught your child and yet you've decided not to like her based on limited interaction and hearsay.

I've seen too many people be hounded, targeted and bullied out of their jobs because parents have spent a little too much time gossiping/speculating rather than stepping back and thinking do i have a professional issue to raise? Yes so I'll speak to miss/sir. Am i just being a gossipy bitch? Maybe i should back off and try being a bit kinder
On around half a dozen occasions I have had my timetable changed so I've picked up some of these groups mid year or have had that group given to me in the next academic year (the logic being the group has a tricky history with parents so give them to staff who are good at dealing with it) and every time those groups have taken longer to settle because the first half term is a chunk of the class/parents trying the same old shit. Usually I get requests from the same parents to have their child at GCSE because i'm firm and fair, but it's so sad to think of the disruption to the pupils' education because of too much speculation/gossip.

Why would a teacher need to ask a parent their age though?

That's just life, isn't it? You won't like everyone you meet. There's plenty of parents I dislike (and plenty disliked as a whole by the staff!).

Sparklingbrook
Why did some parents ask my age when i qualified?
Why do some parents think that repeating 'as a 50 year old MAN' to challenge my assessment of their child's work?
Why do some parents insist on asking teachers if they are parents? (Same for asking midwives if they've had kids)

I have no idea why it was asked.

What i am saying is if there are professional concerns then there are ways to raise it.
If it's just 'they asked my age' with some hearsay then that's not enough of a reason to dislike someone and to be honest disliking someone has nothing to do with their professional ability and should be left out of it.

I have absolutely no clue either MaisyPops. But I think it was the teacher asking the parent their age in the OP.

Sparklingbrook, and it was in front of other parents too!

It came up because another parent is pregnant and we were discussing who was thinking of having another baby etc. I remarked that I couldn't even if I wanted to and she asked how old I was!

I was rather taken aback and actually told her!

But Maisypops presumably the op has heard the hearsay about the teacher being harsh and not speaking to the children nicely from her own dc. Kids can misinterpret things make stuff up but they aren't automatically to be disbelieved. If I hadn't believed my son then there would still be children with sn being called stupid and idiots at his school. Generally if a teacher is making your child unhappy you aren't going to like them.