To not like a teacher at DS's school?

[mumpoints]

Do you all like the teachers at your children's schools? There is this one women (not DS's teacher but involved with his class occasionally) whom I really dislike. She's harsh with the children, has completely different views to myself re speaking to little ones (Year 2 and under) and asks personal questions as if she has a right to know (she asked my age once!)

If it wasn't for the fact she is leaving (hurrah!) I would be very worried as DS would have been going up to her class this year.

Does this happen a lot or is this unusual? I normally get on with most people. I wonder whether I'm being a little overprotective because young children, especially DS, are involved.

OP, you have me wondering now if we are on about the teacher as this one is basically the 'director' of the christmas play also, which she takes very seriously. So seriously in fact, that she has the kids learning their scripts in the summer school holidays!

Teachers are human so there will always be ones you don't like, but that's ok, whether you like them or not doesn't really matter, as long as they are good at their job.

Please don't tell your DC you don't like the woman though, I once had a child burst into tears because he didn't want to work with me because his mum said I was horrible. I'd never spoken to the child before and am generally quite nice.

When my eldest ds was at primary school everyone of the staff were really very likeable. I never had any cause to dislike 1 and I dont ever recall him coming home upset over a teachers manner with him. He was very sensitive so would have easily been upset.

Roll on to my youngest 2 dc, 15 years later and all of the current staff are prickly and short tempered. I rarely speak with them because theyre very quick to be defensive even when its clear I'm only asking for advice with absolutely no hint of blame towards anyone from me. They're not approachable in the slightest and theres frequently parents in loud discussions with them at the school gates and in the reception area. I can't say I actually like any of them.

The current high school my dc attend used to have a good handful of great staff. They really worked their magic with both students and parents and I really liked them. A new head was appointed and they all left were managed out of their roles and their replacements are unapproachable with little time for parents or students outside of class. Most had no idea who my dd was at parents evening in December and asked her what her name and class was so they could read out the exact same school report I received 2 weeks prior.

I find the high school staff unfriendly and unapproachable. They never show a shred of interest in any students but are happy to bitch down the pub on a weekend about nightmare students.

Apple I knew the teacher I disliked had poor behaviour management because my child came home with bruises and was told off for "telling tales" whenever she told the teacher. This was reported by multiple children and their parents over a number of years. She may have had many good qualities, but it is definitely poor behaviour management to allow children to injure each other within a classroom and tell of the victim rather than the aggressor.

I'm not bashing teachers in general though. I am one! Pretty much all my friends are teachers. I have only disliked these 2 specific teachers amongst the hundreds that I have worked with and the many who have taught my dds.

When you say she's harsh do you mean she instills discipline and doesn't pussy foot around. I'm sorry but discipline and being strict and firm does them no harm.

I dislike one teacher in dc's school. It's quite a big school with lots of different teachers as you'd expect so a variety of styles. This one teacher is just horrible and I cannot understand how she stays in teaching. Belittling dc and humiliating them in front of the class is her method of discipline. She seems to create some kind of fictional issue for dc in the class so she can "fix" them. I'm dreading my younger dc ending up with her but I guess my eldest learned resilience.

CorbynsBumFlannel
She may have heard it from a number of places. I must stress I am not saying children must automatically be disbelieved.

I am saying that if someone has something they wish to discuss then it would be more than reasonable to call and discuss it. However, having a dislike of someone who hasn't even taught your child on the basis of hear say and one question is a bit silly - especially when the dislike has got to the point of speculating that the teacher is leaving before she is pushed.
That's just unkind and the sort of approach that I've seen push people to leave schools.

Put it this way, I hear all sorts about "naughty" students but I don't spend my time thinking 'ugh i'm so worried abour having that student next year. So and so says they ruin every lesson. Another teacher said... oh and I had ti remove them from Mr Brown's lesson and they were rude. maybe they'll be excluded by next year so I don't have to teach them' because that's just mean and until I've met the child properly and actually taught them speculating about them is unkind and unreasonable.

Pengggwn
That's my thought.

Some on this thread have said they aren't too keen on a particular teacher their DCs have had because x y z (all reasons occurring when the teacher was teaching DC). I get that. People can't click with everyone. Not every teacher will click with each child. A child won't love every teacher. Where there are concerns people can, and should, raise them appropriately.

But those understandable examples are nothing like the OP who has a dislike of a teacher who has never even taught their DC and the dislike is so strong she is saying she's happy the teacher is leaving so she doesn't have to worry about her DC getting them and speculating that the teacher is going before being pushed.

That's just bizarre and unkind.

miaow
Both of those are understandable.
Teacher 1 you say is a bit abrput but you are reasonable and don't go around having a bitch-fest.
TA, well that is awful. I hope she was given appropriate training and reminded on the basics as that is not on.

Your situation, like others on here, is reasonable - unlike the OP's.

DS’ teacher last year in year one was AWFUL.

We contemplated changing Schools because of her. I have never met a teacher more disingenuous or discriminatory as this
particular teacher and it wasn’t just me- there were ( and still are) lots unhappy parents. I actually confronted her about her discriminate attitude towards DS on the last week of term in July. The reason we never said anything before was because DH s I were extremely concerned that she would made things worse for DS.

Awful, awful teacher.

YANBU op- there are some not so good
Ones out there.

You don't need to like her anymore than she needs to like you.

YANBU op- there are some not so good
Ones out there

So the OP is perfectly reasonable disliking someone who:
Has never taught her children
Because of hearsay
Because of a question
?

This thread is quickly turning into 'share your stories about teachers you dislike'.

Of course there will be understandable examples when humans have had issues with other humans. True of teachera or any other situation.

However, The OP is being unreasonable to take a dislike to someone she doesn't know, doesn't teach her children, based on hearsay and one question she doesn't like. Even more massively unreasonable to turn that dislike into happiness someone is leaving, speculating that someone has left a job before being pushed, oh and starting an internet thread to have a bitch about them.

This isn't 'i have had an issue this year with school how do i sort it' and is completely a 'i don't know someone but it's fun to have a pop so i'll start a nasty thread speculatinf about someone and hope others will tell me i'm justified in my bitching because they had a genuine issue once. That way i can have my bitchyness validated'.

Sounds like she hit a nerve asking about your age, and you’ve decided you dislike her on that basis. I wish asking about age wasn’t so rude. If more people asked me my age upfront I bet I’d have to put up with way less shit!

I should say: wasn’t considered to be so rude.

YANBU to dislike her. I dislike some people who happen to also be teachers. YABU to make such a drama about it.

rebecca
I agree. And to be honest, it's not a quesiton i would ask. But even if it did hit a nerve, it doesn't at all justify the way the OP is carrying on.

It must be awful having the mindset of 'it'll be fun to start a thread purely to justify my bitchy speculation about someone i've had almost nothing to do with'.

I assumed when op wrote "She's harsh with the children, has completely different views to myself re speaking to little ones" she was talking about stuff she'd heard first hand, if she was a volunteer on trips or in the classroom or something. Perhaps op can clarify

Ds's have liked all their primary teachers. There have been 1 or 2 that I myself was less keen. I've never said anything.

Dd13 found her reception teacher too shouty (not at her) but has got on fine with them all since then. Dd10 has got on with all her teachers.

I always think the same as others in life teachers are all different. Some of the teachers were taught and brought up in a different generation, some teachers follow how there teachers were, the list of different reasons are many. I think unless you feel that teacher is being unprofessional or is an actual bad teacher (I.e the children aren't learning anything) then it's just an opinion and that perhaps it's just a grin and bare it like you would with other people in life you had to interact with who you're not keen on.

I've just read the reasoning of asking your age and tbh I don't think she sounds rude at all. To me it sounds like she's not had experience to know that often it's not about age it's about medical reasons and she's asked a question many people would if they were involved in a conversation about pregnancies etc. I'm sorry OP at first I read it as perhaps you were (like me at times) being a defensive parent, then I thought you were seeing something else which you hadn't explained and then as it's gone on you just seem to dislike the poor teacher and YABU tbh it sounds like you're going to be fine anything wrong that she does now because she asked your age and she's a bit more abrupt than other teachers.

Say it is something she has seen first hand (do agree the OP needs to clarify). Seeing part of an interaction at pick up time is totally different to being able to comment on the teacher's approach for general work. The thing is different view to myself isn't grounds for 'I dislike someone so much I'm going to speculate about her leaving before being pushed from her job and I'll start a thread on the internet purely to sit and whip up a bitch fest.

Some of my colleagues (past and present) have had very different ways of interacting with students. I wouldn't suit their style. They wouldn't suit mine. I know one colleague thinks I'm ridiculously strict because I expect my classroom immaculate, students behind their chairs and silent for me to dismiss them. I think one of my colleagues is a bit too matesy with their sixth form class. But as long as we are doing out job well, it really doesn't matter.

Personal preference does not mean professional competence. The OP would do well to remember that before creating mean threads speculating about why someone is leaving a job.

The whole conversation, with women discussing hysterectomies, the menopause and getting pregnant sounds out of place. Would the woman working in the bank have this conversation with her clients? Everyone in the conversation, teacher and parents both, had left the realms of a professional moment behind.

So, no, I wouldn't dislike her for that. I am 52 and have no issue with people asking my age or why I only had one child.

The "awkward" comment doesn't seem remotely offensive either.

But no, I.haven't liked all of my child's teachers. I don't like all my teacher colleagues. Why would I? I'm.not Pollyanna.