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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not like a teacher at DS's school?

161 replies

mumpoints · 01/01/2018 20:50

Do you all like the teachers at your children's schools? There is this one women (not DS's teacher but involved with his class occasionally) whom I really dislike. She's harsh with the children, has completely different views to myself re speaking to little ones (Year 2 and under) and asks personal questions as if she has a right to know (she asked my age once!)

If it wasn't for the fact she is leaving (hurrah!) I would be very worried as DS would have been going up to her class this year.

Does this happen a lot or is this unusual? I normally get on with most people. I wonder whether I'm being a little overprotective because young children, especially DS, are involved.

OP posts:

Sparklingbrook · 01/01/2018 22:11

Oh no mumpoints. The reason you couldn't even if you wanted to could have been to do with anything.

Original poster

mumpoints · 01/01/2018 22:12

To clarify, my not being able to have another child is medical, nothing to do with my age. I am in my 30s!

OP posts:

Sparklingbrook · 01/01/2018 22:12

X post mumpoints, that's a bit of a sensitive one.

Branleuse · 01/01/2018 22:14

Hard to say, but its worth remembering, that just because you dont like someone, doesnt mean youre right about them. Doesnt make them a bad person and doesnt mean they arent good at their job. It might, but often our hasty judgements of people are just feelings and could be influenced by really minor things.

I think people have a tendency to be VERY judgemental about teachers.

LynetteScavo · 01/01/2018 22:20

There have been a few teachers I didn't like...only one of them also wasn't a good teacher, and my child no progress that year. I'm still really angry about it.

There have also been lovely, yet crap teachers, but that doesn't bother me nearly so much.

MsAwesomeDragon · 01/01/2018 22:21

I didn't particularly like the teacher dd2 had in year 1. She seemed like a nice enough woman generally, but she didn't know how to deal with shy little girls which is what dd2 was/is. Dd didn't speak to that teacher till Christmas, not a single word, she would communicate via her friends or the TA.

Come to think of it, I didn't like dd1's year 1 teacher either, for different reasons. That one didn't have very good behaviour management, and didn't deal with the children who nipped and punched dd in any line they ever needed to be in. Dd and her friends stopped even telling her about it because they were more likely to be told of for telling tales than the boys were for the nipping and punching. We left that school, thank goodness.

LynetteScavo · 01/01/2018 22:23

Actually make that 2 crap horrid teachers, but there have been many brilliant, lovely ones

brizzledrizzle · 01/01/2018 22:24

It's impossible to like all of the teachers that your children have, what matters is how you deal with it in front of your children.

Original poster

mumpoints · 01/01/2018 22:24

Sparklingbrook I know. But I did go home and have a long look in the mirror... I think it's time I started a regular moisturising routine!

I do think that some people, in whichever job, run the risk of letting down everyone they represent if they are on the front line. You could have heard a pin drop (after the raucous applause and cheering) when she made the "awkward" remark. It was such a shame.

OP posts:

Sparklingbrook · 01/01/2018 22:25

That was a bit like our experience MsAwesome the teacher preferred the confident outgoing types and would often say about shy DS 'I don't know what to do with him' or 'it was a good day today we actually had no tears'. This was a child in Year 4 who had been happily going to school since YR with no problem.

He was very scared of approaching her or talking to her.

storynanny · 01/01/2018 22:31

I’ve been an infant teacher since 1978, there have been quite a few teachers I haven’t liked! Quite normal.

SheKnows · 01/01/2018 22:33

It came up because another parent is pregnant and we were discussing who was thinking of having another baby etc. I remarked that I couldn't even if I wanted to and she asked how old I was!

Tbf, that's quite a person conversation to be having with your child's teacher. I think the whole conversation probably crossed a few boundaries on both sides.

If you're going to offer something like "I couldn't have any more children even if I wanted to" it is generally going to elicit some kind of response. The teacher is a human, not a robot and sometimes people don't respond in the most ideal of ways when they hear something that could be sensitive but feel like they need to say something.

If you don't want to have boundary crossing conversations with your children's teachers, then don't have boundary crossing conversations with your children's teachers.

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 01/01/2018 22:33

Well, if you're not directly involved by having your child in her class and not likely to because she's leaving, I'd just be glad you won't have to deal with her at close quarters.

She has very different views to you, so it's unlikely you'd get on with her, but since she only has minimal contact with your child, I'd just accept that you're too different to get on with one another.

brizzledrizzle · 01/01/2018 22:34

A teacher said to one of mine that 'you don't know how to smile' - I was furious when I spoke to the school. Of course they could smile but they were scared of that teacher. For ages at home they would look miserable and say they couldn't smile.

SheKnows · 01/01/2018 22:34

And if you don't like her why exactly were you involved in the conversation in the first place?

rightknockered · 01/01/2018 22:49

Actually I don't like one of dc's current teachers. He speaks over my voice and doesn't allow me to as questions, forcing me to repeat louder. I hate men with that attitude towards women. But, my ds likes him, so I even have to let that go. Plus he had a habit of calling me 'mum' so I called him 'son', much to the amusement of other parents

rightknockered · 01/01/2018 22:51

Most teachers work long long hours, under a lot of pressure, with dwindling resources. I hate bashing teachers

AppleTrayBake · 01/01/2018 22:52

I always wonder with these threads how people know so much about their children's teachers?

How do people know they don't share the same views/ they have poor behaviour management/ crap at teaching?

In the past I've had parents say "I'm so glad they're with you now, they made no progress with Ms X"

Just because a child doesn't make lots of process one year, doesn't mean the last teacher was shit. Children progress at different rates.

We had a TA leave once. There was an outcry from parents that we were losing such a great member of staff...she was lazy and incompetent!

My DC is in Reception, I know nothing about her teachers!

Original poster

mumpoints · 01/01/2018 22:53

SheKnows it was a conversation between parents and I was quite prepared to say "...even if I wanted to because of medical stuff" but she interrupted! Another mum had already said she had had a hysterectomy, another that she was in perimenopause, it was just one of those conversations between mums and she happened to be there (gate duty). I'm blowed if I'm not going to join in a conversation because she is stood there and might say something rude!

OP posts:

Sparklingbrook · 01/01/2018 22:56

It's not 'bashing teachers' to say what happened in your experience. Some people aren't suited to their jobs in all sorts of professions.

My experiences of teachers with my DC started in 2003 and is still ongoing but they have also had/have some amazing ones.

Sparklingbrook · 01/01/2018 22:58

In Reception we were invited into school a lot. Reading morning on a Friday every single week and numerous little assemblies, to look at their artwork etc. Have things changed?

brizzledrizzle · 01/01/2018 22:59

Just because a child doesn't make lots of process one year, doesn't mean the last teacher was shit. Children progress at different rates.

Somebody should tell the government that!

Original poster

mumpoints · 01/01/2018 23:00

Ooh I wish we could go once a week. We only had one "open morning" last term.

OP posts:

FlakeBook · 01/01/2018 23:02

Of course YANBU. Teachers are people. You will like some more than others. As it's not impacting your dc, there's no problem.

rightknockered · 01/01/2018 23:03

Being a teacher these days is not an easy choice, or one taken lightly. Experienced teachers are a valuable resource. I'm not saying that they are perfect, or don't make errors in the way they deal with parents, but none of these things make someone a bad teacher.
It must be difficult to be on top form socially when you've been working since 7.30am, after finishing the night before at 7.30pm. And dealing with nit picking parents.
(I am not a teacher by the way, but know some very hard working ones)

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