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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not like a teacher at DS's school?

161 replies

mumpoints · 01/01/2018 20:50

Do you all like the teachers at your children's schools? There is this one women (not DS's teacher but involved with his class occasionally) whom I really dislike. She's harsh with the children, has completely different views to myself re speaking to little ones (Year 2 and under) and asks personal questions as if she has a right to know (she asked my age once!)

If it wasn't for the fact she is leaving (hurrah!) I would be very worried as DS would have been going up to her class this year.

Does this happen a lot or is this unusual? I normally get on with most people. I wonder whether I'm being a little overprotective because young children, especially DS, are involved.

OP posts:
Reallytired17 · 02/01/2018 09:22

Here are some things teachers have said to me:

“I have a death stare. You know X, that really I had him sobbing last year! And all the other kids were like ... ‘Miss, how did you do that?’ And I said ‘I make at least one child cry a week.”

“Well, I’m sorry, but the real world isn’t going to make any allowances for (his) autism.”

Refusing to allow children to wear anything but a proper, shop bought Christmas jumper. Ordinary jumper draped in tinsel wasn’t good enough.

Telling a child in front of the class they had bad breath.

Standing right in front of a well behaved twelve year old and screaming in her face, close enough to spit all over her, until the girl was shaking and sobbing. (She’d interuppted.)

I am a teacher, by the way. Many are fantastic. Some aren’t.

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 02/01/2018 09:31

I'd be willing to bet that teachers will become more and more short tempered in relation to the amount of pointless, stressful admin they have to do, the permanent anxiety of Ofrubbish and observations and castigation. Nothing to do with the teaching. That's generally what teachers like.

MaisyPops · 02/01/2018 09:37

reallytired
I agree entirely.

That's why I've had an issue with this post. It's not about the OP saying 'I have this situation at school and would like advice on how to sort it'. It's 'I don't like this person so let's start a post where I can use everyone else's understandable reasons for having an issue with a teacher to justify my own bitchyness towards someone else'

There are some crap situations in schools. They need dealing with.

Deciding you don't like someone, speculate about them being about to be pushed from their job and then starting an internet thread to bitch about them is just nasty. Teacher or no teacher.

Original poster
mumpoints · 02/01/2018 09:41

LOL@this thread!

Thanks for all the advice Grin

OP posts:
MaisyPops · 02/01/2018 09:44

I'm not lolling at all.
Some of the situstions people have shared are genuinely an issue and not funny at all. Unless of course, you were just trying to be a GF.

Still, you're clearly entertained (which only reinforces my view that you were after validation of your own silly bitchyness).

Original poster
mumpoints · 02/01/2018 09:47

Gosh! Happy New Year MaisyPops!

That's me out, I don't argue with strangers on the internet. :)

OP posts:
MaisyPops · 02/01/2018 09:50

I'm not arguing.
I'm just pointing out that starting a thread speculating about some poor person who you've disliked and don't like a teacher (despite them not teaching your children), coming up with theories that they've left before being pushed etc is quite honestly unkind.

To come back to a thread people have replied to and be all 'hahaha isn't this totes hilarious' seems a bit off to me.

Reallytired17 · 02/01/2018 09:51

Tbf mum in that case aibu probably ain’t the place for you.

But given no one was named or identified I don’t share maisys view.

Too often on here the ‘teachers are Gods and if they are not it is the government overworking them’ views prevail.

MaisyPops · 02/01/2018 09:56

To me it doesn't matter nobody was named really.
It's a mentality thing to me.

If someone had an issue with school and obviously didn't name someone then people give a range of advice and opinions.

A thread purely to be 'I don't like someone based on hearsay and a question. And they were probably about to be pushed from their job' is simply a sign of quite a lot of spiteful nastiness.

I don't think teachers are gods (which is the default assertoin anytime someone suggests taking a step back on education threads). I just think there are crappy situations in schools, if there are concerns they should be raised appropriately and addressed.
If there are no professionals concerns then bitching and speculating about someone's job is quite pointless and unkind (and probably reflects on the poster - I've seen too many good teachers be bullied and hounded by parents with the OP's attitude).

MaisyPops · 02/01/2018 10:11

I probably should have made my view a bit clearer.

If there are professional concerns or issues (because teachers can, and do, get it wrong sometimes because we are human) then they should be dealt with approrpiately.

If someone dislikes someone, fine. That's life and part of being human.

But don't confuse the 2 and start speculating about their career, starting having a bitch fest etc. That's what I think is unreasonable.

scaryteacher · 02/01/2018 10:24

So what if the teacher has different views to you on how to speak to their pupils OP? Have you ever done her job? When you have, and for a period of time, you might be better qualified to comment. Dealing with upwards of 25 kids at once can be a nightmare, and I did it at secondary.....hats off to those who do it with the littlies.

PerfumeIsAMessage · 02/01/2018 10:33

OP- you don't argue with strangers on the internet, yet start a thread expecting them to validate your somewhat irrelevant (to a teaching situation) anecdote about a conversation more suited to a chat with friends who have known each other personally for years? Okaaay.

If you are, as I.presume, starting your primary journey, you might want to save your wrath for when something that actually matters happens which involves your child and a teacher, rather than silly adult chitchat.

BoneyBackJefferson · 02/01/2018 10:47

Reallytired17
Too often on here the ‘teachers are Gods and if they are not it is the government overworking them’ views prevail.

I MO there are equally or slightly more of the opposite view.

Pengggwn · 02/01/2018 10:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MaisyPops · 02/01/2018 10:58

Same boney and to be honest most of the people who trot out the 'eeh teachers are gods on MN' are often (but not always - e.g. reallytired doesn't do it) people who crop up any time there's a teacher bash opportunity.

The teachers are gods/on MN you can't criticise a teacher/so many people think children should never be believed stock replies normally come out as soon as anyone (often a teacher) says something like 'maybe spend less time getting furious on MN and more time calmly calling the school and discussing it sensibly with the teacher' / 'Your DC may hsve said x y z and if that is the whole story then the teacher is wrong, just go into the conversation being open to the fact that other possibilities include a b c'.

I'll be honest, i get the impression the OP was quite knowingly trying to create some kind of silly slag the teachers off type of thread / bait teachers on here for shits and giggles.

RoseWhiteTips · 02/01/2018 11:09

So much guesswork presented bossily as Factoids. Lol

RoseWhiteTips · 02/01/2018 11:11

“I’ll be honest...”?! Oh jolly good. It’s the very least you can offer.

MaisyPops · 02/01/2018 11:15

So much guesswork presented bossily as Factoids
Or someone stating something they have observed on MN threads and explaining what their impression of a thread is.

If you think some hearsay and single question is a justifyable reason to make comments about anyone's employment, reasons for leaving and set up a thread to bitch is a normal.and reasonable thing to do then fine. I don't. And i feel that way regardless of the person's job. Then again, I don't go around speculating why people I actually work with might leave (i wait until I'm told or i keep my nose out) let alone people i come into contact with

RoseWhiteTips · 02/01/2018 11:19

justifiable

MiaowTheCat · 02/01/2018 11:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Letseatgrandma · 02/01/2018 11:26

You could have heard a pin drop (after the raucous applause and cheering

There was raucous applause and cheering whenyou said your age??

PuffinBadger · 02/01/2018 11:44

I think the cheering was after a play that the teacher said was awkward or something. The age thing was at pick up time

echt · 02/01/2018 11:55

OP, you are that parent.

MrsHathaway · 02/01/2018 12:09

There are people I don't like, but so far I've only had positive interactions with my DCs' teachers. It is a great school, though - I'm not naive enough to believe every teacher in the world is easy to get on with.

I think it can be good when people come to MN for a sanity check along the lines of "is this actually bad or are my emotions clouding my judgement?" whether that's in a school situation or medical or retail or relationships or whatever. Sometimes you just need to get it out of your system.

Clandestino · 02/01/2018 12:16

You see, we live in those very conflicting times. As a result of the PC being driven to extreme we are told we need to like everybody and everything and be totally accepting of everything.
I have a serious problem with that. I keep repeating my DD that it is absolutely OK to not like some children. The most important thing is to remain civil and respectful with them even if she's not their friend and doesn't want to be as that's a basis for a decent society, not some all embracing love like the front page from a Watch Tower or Hare Krishna pamphlet.
It's OK to not like the teacher.