Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how you manage your mental load?

114 replies

swimmingdory · 01/01/2018 17:40

Work, the things you need to do, want to do, that the kids have on at school, the shopping lists, your diary dates, etc etc.

How do you manage it all? It’s one of the biggest things that exhaust me. Thinking all the time. I need to find a way to get it out of my head so I can focus more / sleep better.

So how do you manage it? A paper system? Combination of apps?

OP posts:
Oywotchadoin · 01/01/2018 17:43

I am naturally very very disorganised and possibly have ADD too. The only way anything gets done is with my Life Book which lives on the kitchen counter and is accessible to everyone. If it doesn’t go in the book then it doesn’t happen usually. I also take photos of the diary pages. I’m not coordintsd enough to get on with a diary app, it hasn’t been invented one that my brain can follow!

I do todo lists too and set reminders on my phone. I’ve so far managed to avoid arrest and the kids are still ok so I’m calling that a win.

Notevilstepmother · 01/01/2018 17:44

Whiteboard and wall calendar for me. But I am very visual and I like to see it. I also send myself emails at the end of the day for the next day of stuff to remember. I use my phone calendar when I’m out and about.

ZenNudist · 01/01/2018 17:44

I was going to say by turning to drink 😁

TheScottishPlay · 01/01/2018 17:45

Bullet Journal/diary. I enjoy the faffing and colouring and find it relaxing. Also helps me be organised.

Ginfiend · 01/01/2018 17:48

Text/email myself straight away if I think of something. I use he notes app a lot on my phone. You can make to do lists which I find useful.
I use my iPhone calendar for everything. I always forget my paper diary so I stopped using one as couldn’t do both phone and diary.
Sticky notes sometimes too. On kettle etc where I’m going to see them

RemainOptimistic · 01/01/2018 17:49

I cut out vast swathes of mine. Brutally edited down life to the bare minimum. I can recommend it.

There are still crunch points in the year where there's far too much happening all at once though.

Food shopping - as soon as something is running low or about to run it write it on a list on the fridge. Train husband to do the same. Once a week take list to a budget supermarket with limited choice, saves SO much time and effort.

RemainOptimistic · 01/01/2018 17:50

Google calendar on my phone - set reminders and events with alarms in advance. E.g. dog worming tablets are set months in advance.

rothbury · 01/01/2018 17:50

I am super organised Blush

I have LISTS!!!!!

Also agree the family calendar is really useful but you have to write stuff on it as soon as you know about it, don't leave it.

Also, I delegate some of the mental load, so if DS forgets his guitar and has music that day, that's his fuck up and I won't allow it to become anything I have to remember.

I also use the "notes" function on my phone which is great for shopping lists.

I write everything I have to do in a normal paper diary.

pastabest · 01/01/2018 17:50

A wall calendar and a good memory for dates

Shopping is done online once a week.

DomesticAnarchist · 01/01/2018 17:51

Apps:

  • we use Tody (for cleaning tasks), it's on DH's phone too (although he doesn't use it) and I can assign and tick off tasks by various people
  • also Cozi - really good for managing recipes, meal planning as well as a central calendar. Also on DHs phone (he's good at using the synchronised lists).

We've also got a year planner, and a monthly calendar in the kitchen (which I like to keep up to date and synchronise between) and then I bullet journal as well (and I've bought DH an all-singing diary too in the hope that he'll use it too).

I've recently started listing the day's tasks on a whiteboard in the kitchen. They can avoid looking at the apps, but if it's right there in the kitchen it's harder to ignore!

I have a plan to instigate the weekly family meeting this year, where diaries will by synchronised and meals will be planned and shopped for as a team (online shopping, obviously).

It's a scattergun approach, but I like it!

RavenLG · 01/01/2018 17:52

Prozac..
but seriously being organised keeps me going. I’ve just been sat filling in my new diary and I’m itching as we’ve yet to get a wall calendar.

OddBoots · 01/01/2018 17:52

A lot of our stuff goes on a shared family google calendar, I use it for lists as well as events. I also have my own google calendar that only I see that I use to keep track of things I don't want the children and dh to see and for things like tracking my cycle. It means it is right there on my computer and on my phone when I am out.

OddBoots · 01/01/2018 17:53

A lot of our stuff goes on a shared family google calendar, I use it for lists as well as events. I also have my own google calendar that only I see that I use to keep track of things I don't want the children and dh to see and for things like tracking my cycle. It means it is right there on my computer and on my phone when I am out.

limon · 01/01/2018 17:53

I have a calendar plus a weekly planner. I work full time and have chronic fatigue so o tend to plan stuff well in advance so that I don't get too overwhelmed. I also avoid alcohol and caffeine and go to bed at 10.oo pm latest. It's the only way I can cope with full time work and a child and a husband who doesn't take enough share on the mental load.

mrsreynolds · 01/01/2018 17:56

I've become quite strict with not planning/booking in too much tbh

Particularly if dh is away with work I try and leave my diary free apart from work

I work very pt but have several volunteer roles

I would say that aside from work I only book 2 things per week - they can be all day or just a couple of hours

Otherwise I get a bit overwhelmed

Eolian · 01/01/2018 17:56

A bullet journal. It's the only thing that has ever worked for me. Calendars, diaries, apps all fell by the wayside and failed to reduce the mental load. My bullet journal genuinely removes all feelings of lack of control and potential disorganisation. I love it!

DomesticAnarchist · 01/01/2018 17:58

I also start the online shopping (and book a slot) a week in advance, and add all the regular stuff, and then add the meal planned bits at the very last minute.

And, yes like Limon I've started enforcing my own bed time and other targets (no work after 9pm). I don't have CF, but found I was going crackers on limited sleep, and feeling like I never had any down time.

The half hour faffing with my bullet journal at the end of the day feels like a hobby, and I've made an effort to note down "gratitudes" (but I can't bring myself to call it anything that twee!)

Original poster
swimmingdory · 01/01/2018 17:59

Thanks for the replies everyone!

I'm relatively well organised, I'll try to explain where I'm struggling....

I currently use the calendar app on my phone, which syncs my personal and kids calendars to DH phone and his to mine. It's a case of if it's not in the diary it's not happening.

I then use the reminders to help with things I need to remember to do within a short timeframe, like if someone has asked me something. And we both use the online shopping app to manage the shopping list.

It's things that aren't necessarily time framed I guess like:...

There's a kids party coming up next week so I need to remember to sort that card / gift.

DTs birthday is coming so I need to start drafting ideas for that.

It's a friends birthday next week so I need to organise a night out.

There's a film coming out soon that I'd like to book tickets for.

I just feel sometimes like my brain never gets a break from thinking. But if I put all this stuff into my calendar I find it's too cluttered and so doesn't work. Same can apply to reminders. Does that make sense?

OP posts:
princesssparkle1 · 01/01/2018 18:01

I use Alarmed - an app which provides a ping reminder system. Bloody useful 😊

Original poster
swimmingdory · 01/01/2018 18:01

I keep looking at the bullet journal but am struggling with the idea of pen / paper?

OP posts:
princesssparkle1 · 01/01/2018 18:01

Everything goes on there - even drink water - otherwise I forget

Original poster
swimmingdory · 01/01/2018 18:03

@princesssparkle1 how do you manage the non timed stuff though? Does it not get really difficult to see it all?

OP posts:
museumum · 01/01/2018 18:04

Future stuff goes in my iPhone or work outlook if it affects work. There’s a family kitchen Callander with weekends away and stuff on it too. Then on a Sunday night I plan the week ahead on paper in detail pulling everything together and dh and I reconfirm school runs etc.

JohnLapsleyParlabane · 01/01/2018 18:06

I use a mixture of Google calendar and Trello app. Joint email and calendar with DH, shared trello boards. Shopping list on the fridge, meal planning and shopping done at regular times.

EggysMom · 01/01/2018 18:07

Family calendar on the wall, which has a notepad on which we can write stuff for shopping lists. I stick a plastic pouch on the back of the calendar into which I put important paperwork for the future - letters about appointments, tickets for events, etc.

I have google Calendar but rarely use it. i have an Outlook Calendar at work, and tend to put personal stuff into that (duly marked private).

Swipe left for the next trending thread