To ask how you manage your mental load?

[swimmingdory]

Work, the things you need to do, want to do, that the kids have on at school, the shopping lists, your diary dates, etc etc.

How do you manage it all? It’s one of the biggest things that exhaust me. Thinking all the time. I need to find a way to get it out of my head so I can focus more / sleep better.

So how do you manage it? A paper system? Combination of apps?

PS I’m enjoying seeing what everyone else has written. I feel like juggling this stuff is always a work-in-progress and it’s good to adapt ideas!

• Alexa
• Bullet Journal
• Google drive for synchronised lists
• Headspace app - great way to spend some time just on me
• 'Swapping hats', five minutes between tasks to debrief from my last thing and prepare for the next. Usually I do this on really busy days, between work and university or between two different meetings. It may seem like a waste of time to some, but it allows me to get my thoughts in order and change my focus. I go from 'Work Woolfrai' to 'University Woolfrai'.

Really love the sound of some of the above apps.

I'm exhausted just reading this thread.

I can't help feeling that some people are over complicating their lives.

I mean scheduling house cleaning?? I buy food and it gets eaten. Bills get paid when they come in.

I run my own business from home, care for kids and an elderly and my life is no where are complicated as some.
I remember most stuff in my head, sometimes a couple of post it notes, but not something I get stressed about.

If I did have a list it would look like this,

1. Get to the gym 3 times a week.
2. Be nice to myself.

Everything else follows easily after that,

OP said
need to find a way to get it out of my head

So this reply is really helpful

I remember most stuff in my head, sometimes a couple of post it notes, but not something I get stressed about

A bit like going onto weight loss and saying you stay thin by eating well and moving about, no problem.

I use ToDoIst which is useful for the things that aren't in the calendar (like errands that need to be done on / by a certain date). You can then look at all tasks that need doing in the next 7 days in priority order so it removes any need to carry things around in my head. As soon as I think of something it goes on the list. You can categorise take by project and share projects with other people and assign tasks to them. I literally have everything in there, from booking holidays to my house refurb plans. Any long term non urgent things can be left without a date but I prefer to schedule as much as possible as I find it makes me very efficient. A big project broken into small steps then also becomes easy.

Also small things like pay the Cleaner, pick up dry cleaning etc. And you can set recurring tasks like "take vitamins" etc

Payfrozen you miss my point.

All of us have lots of stuff buzzing around in our heads as we lead busy lives.
Using planners etc may be merely a distraction.

If we caretake of ourselves more then this mental buzz is much easier to deal with- even enjoyable.

I don't find it a distraction, it means I don't have to stress about all the things I need to do, because they are all written down and scheduled so I know I won't miss or forget things. It allows me to be more relaxed.

Well done speakout. I’m a National authority on my particular subject, can recall obscure facts from millennia ago, but I can’t remember my PIN number or find my keys.

Loving that " National Authority" thing.....

Wunderlist is my preferred app for this.

Allows multiple lists for different categories of stuff, reminders or not, sync between app / desktop / multiple devices. Believe it also has sharing functionality for family things if required.

I take care of myself fine thanks, Speakout. I don't see why that would mean that keeping a journal and making lists wouldn't be helpful to me. I don't over-complicate my life. I just keep track of things on paper, which I find helpful, de-stressing and enjoyable. In what way do you think it would be a distraction?

Get a present box. Stock up on suitable presents for whoever your kids are friends with, stick in box with suitable pre-bought birthday cards, wrapping paper and sellotape.

If you can afford it, get a cleaner! One less thing to worry about.

I’m finding that since DS started school, my mental workload has doubled. Nursery years were easy peasy in comparison.
I put notes in my calendar on my phone (family stuff is shared with OH), shopping lists are just in notes on my phone. I set reminders for when things are due to happen but also for when I’m supposed to prepare for them, for example: a reminder was set for DS nativity for the particular date but also for the Saturday 2 weeks in advance to get his costume.
I take pics of all the paperwork that needs to be dealt with and can’t be dealt with immediately because papers always go missing in our house.
Bills etc take care of themselves through direct debits, I can’t be arsed dealing with it any other way.
Weekly shopping done and THERE IS NO FLEXIBILITY IN THE PLANNED MENU.
I don’t really use paper diaries because I can’t really carry them with me so kind of defeat the purpose. I deal with some of the stuff during my lengthy commute so need it all with me.
If I randomly remember something, I email myself, I do love a little surprise email from me...

Remember stuff in my head.
The top would blow off if I had to remember it all.
This way I store it outside of my brain.
I had one of those wall planners upthread. It was great, but too small. Now I have a whiteboard.

I'm interested in the headspace app. I downloaded it a few days ago but haven't got round to looking at it.

Do those of you who use a bullet journal find it therapeutic? I work on the basis if I've planned in advance I don't have to think about the week each night. The umpteen school emails go into the Google calendar each day, and then I dismiss them from my brain until needed.

Might have to have a look at one.

Don't have time to RTWT but will come back later. I need a bullet journal!

I'm really badd in term.time. All I think about is work, so I have to set myself memos, like: "dc people kit", " sign consent slip", " sort out childcare for Feb half term cos it's different to mine." I keep forgetting the last one, then get to.g chills when I realise it's not sorted (cm doesn't do holidays).

I've tried all sorts of systems and the one that works for me is decidedly analogue.

I use a QuoVadis Septanote planner/diary. It's a page to view a week and there's plenty of space to write down to do lists etc. As soon as it's written down I forget about it.

I don't ever take it out of the house though. I use the notes app on my phone or better still I have a small notebook (Moleskin soft backed squared pages elastic closure) I keep in my handbag. I like good paper though.

The bullet journal looks like homework! I can believe if I started using it I would become a fan, but it sounds like one more thing to do.

I agree with the poster earlier who commented that the husband doesn't do this stuff. Maybe I'll buy DH a bullet journal for his birthday.

I use notes and reminder functions on phone but have just invested in a BLOX diary (proper paper). It has been a godsend- so much space and can customise - www.bloxstationery.com

I live and die by my iPhone.

Every birthday has a reminder set for the week before to buy a card and present (if needed)

My phone has all my commitments in and locations so it tells me when I need to leave.

Everything else, I use Siri to set up as a reminder. I just speak into my phone and it's done in 10 secs. The trick is to put in reminders for the day / week before, so you know it is coming!

Everything else I have an app - Christmas present app, shopping list app...

My other saviour is my fridge!
My DC each has a peg on the fridge. All paperwork belonging to each child gets stuck onto their peg - their older, so their responsibility not mine, but when they were younger, I did it. Means I can always find their school letters / party invites / info about hobbies etc etc

Also have a laminated list of what needs doing each day / packed lunches / after school snacks / who is dropping or collecting from school and what kit needs to be taken on what days. Easy checklist for DH and the DC to see what they need so it's not all down to me.

Calendar for each month with just the key events on.

And a mini whiteboard to write down the items that need buying.

Finally, as back up I do have a diary. Mostly for work, but I back up my key events in there. I colour code everything with highlighters - red that day, orange for things that need to be done that week and green for things that I need a bit more time on.

But really, the key to our organisation is our weekly diary meetings. Once a week, I go through the calendar app on my phone, the lists on my fridge and make sure I have got everything in my diary. This is my Sunday night job. DH, the DC and I have a family diary meeting on a Sunday, where we discuss what commitments we have got on, who is doing pick up and drop off, the girls write into their diaries what they need to take to school that week, they hand over slips for signing etc etc... all gets done in 20 mins each week.

Whiteboard on the kitchen wall for me

This is a fab thread for me, I've been really struggling with getting organised since the addition of two DC - I've now ordered a life book and some fridge clips for DC paperwork. I'll add in a weekly diary check and daily headspace and hopefully will feel less like my head is about to explode.

Do the task list /bullet journal to put your jobs down on paper

But the biggest advice to help with the mental load is to be aware of your thoughts.

When something pops in your head....ask yourself....does this thought serve /benefit me...if it doesn't, acknowledge it and send it on its way. The thoughts that benefit you, focus on them.

Our brains are like computers, they're always processing.