AIBU to want my kids back??

[RoseNarene]

Just before Christmas my ex and I agreed at court to a child arrangement order whereby the kids (5 and 1) live with me roughly 65% of the time. The court order also stipulated Christmas arrangements as being shared 50/50, and were more specific for this Christmas - he was to have them from 9am Boxing Day and then I pick them up at 6pm on the 2nd January.

He has taken them to a holiday home in Wales and is demanding that I make the 5 hour journey to collect them on the 2nd. If I can't then he will bring them back on the 4th.

It may only seem like a couple of days but they have already been away from me for 7 days and my baby is only 1. This is all about control for him. He isn't technically breaking the court order because it says I have to collect them but it doesn't state a location, but we live 10 minutes from each other so the assumption would naturally be that I collect from his house.

What do I do?

oh Fuck. Call the police right now.
He is in breach of the court order

Oh, Rose. I'm sorry that he's being such a twat. Do you have anyone with you?

Take photos of the house in darkness and the empty driveway. Your phone will automatically timestamp them. Then send him a screenshot of the message in which you told him that you would collect from his house and tell him to get your children to you asap and that you are seeking further legal advice tomorrow.

This is shit right now, but it will help you in the long term when you go back to court.
Do not go to his parents house without speaking to, and hopefully accompanied by the police. He will try and do something to provoke you and he is using your daughter against you. (knob.)

And yes, police.

You are not in breach of the court order.

Send him a screenshot of it if you have one and point out that it specifically states his home. Not any old house he may be staying at.

Tell him he needs to leave his parents to facilitate drop off immediately. Once you have your girls back, let him know you will be taking this matter back to court. Do not delete any messages he sends you or vice versa.

I think that’s a really bloody harsh order given how young your children are, even if he had played ball properly. I feel for you op.

I'd phone 101 and get some advice.

Phone the Police .. he's with-holding the Children

Bloody good for you OP. You’re doing all the right things.

Bloody bastard.

Sorry OP, I am so angry on you behalf.
But he is trying to get a reaction out of you. You will get the children very soon. You may have to speak to a police station near his parents house. But call them now, and say your children have not been returned to you at the court agreed address

Call the police now.

Ild have to go get them if it was me.

Can you stop all contact due to this until it can go back to court?

Since when has their house been the collection point?! He is in breach.

You're doing everything right and he is shooting himself in the foot.

Rose you are not in breach. He is. He is playing games and this will cost him in the end. Deep breaths. I hope he is on his way home now and not expecting you to go to his parents home. I wonder what they think. Can you speak to you daughter on the phone to reassure both of you?

When this happened to a friend of mine she phoned the police. He had them on the doorstep where they encouraged him to swiftly return them to her.
Give them a ring.

What a manipulative arse.
The fact he changed it from the location to his parents shows he does not want to keep them but is playing games.

The fact he using his Mummy and Daddy to back up his case is pathetic.

I’d tell him he’s playing a dangerous game and Scotland’s looking enticing for Christmas next year - two can play the same game

what an absolute bastard, ring the police, log it then drive to his parents, you need everything logged then go back and get the contact order tightened up, i cant believe he has kept this up and is trying to use emotional blackmail to upset you and the kids, petty twat.

Just stay calm, get the kids then do everything through the book so he cant do this again, i think the judge/barrister will take a very dim view of what he has done and it will ultimately back fire

Hope your ok

I would ask the police to find out where they are before you drive anywhere. You've no evidence they are where he says they are.

Oh lovely, he really is a twat.

No more playing nice.

Contact the police, he is in breach of the order.

Tomorrow, contact the court and file for an amended order, he can't be trusted so make sure it is tightened.

Also, speak to the police about coercive control, they are interested so persue it. Don't let him get away with this. He needs to know you won't take his shit

i think golds right, you could drive there then he says well you told me to bring them back to my house so i have, dont muck about just ring the police and say he has broken the order and take if from there, see what they say

Agree with everyone else. Call the police and take pics of the house x

Agree with the others - take photos / video of empty house as phone will time stamp them & contact the police. I wouldn't go to his parents as you've no idea that they're actually there.

for you as he's being a controlling fucker.

Sympathies to you: hope you have spoken to the police and had some help from them. What a wretched shitbag of a man and how right you were to leave him.

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