AIBU to want my kids back??

[RoseNarene]

Just before Christmas my ex and I agreed at court to a child arrangement order whereby the kids (5 and 1) live with me roughly 65% of the time. The court order also stipulated Christmas arrangements as being shared 50/50, and were more specific for this Christmas - he was to have them from 9am Boxing Day and then I pick them up at 6pm on the 2nd January.

He has taken them to a holiday home in Wales and is demanding that I make the 5 hour journey to collect them on the 2nd. If I can't then he will bring them back on the 4th.

It may only seem like a couple of days but they have already been away from me for 7 days and my baby is only 1. This is all about control for him. He isn't technically breaking the court order because it says I have to collect them but it doesn't state a location, but we live 10 minutes from each other so the assumption would naturally be that I collect from his house.

What do I do?

"Thanks for letting me know. I'll pick them up from the house at 6pm, as per the court agreement."

Good luck rose Another stranger here rooting for you!

Good luck Rose. You've handled this amazing

'Amazingly'

Good luck OP. This all sounds very stressful for you. He sounds like a controlling arse hole. Hope today goes smoothly as it can.

he sounds like a spiteful Dick OP.. well done for seeing this through via proper legal guidance.... let us know what he 'does' to manipulate you into reacting.. because he will try something... to make you aggressive.. please stay calm.. keep your rage for on here.. rant at us Lady

You are doing great.
When you pick up the DC, do not exchange one word with your ex if you can possibly help it. The only way to deal with the controlling personality type is if possible NC, otherwise minimal, factual speech. I guarantee he will try and get a reaction from you when you pick up the children.

I would really recommend you have someone with you, so that there is an adult to take each child; get them strapped in the car and go.

Oh yes; Ex staying in family home whilst you had to move out. Another classic which happened to me.

(Keep fighting him through the courts. it's long, draining, but I promise there is light at the end of the tunnel.)

I hope he plays ball and stops being such a self absorbed prick.

What a thundercunt. Never ceases to amaze me what utter dicks men can become. It’s like you were married to a whole different person.

Hope you get the kids back ok at 6pm.

hes probably not replying as he is shocked you have played him at his own game going through the correct channels instead of driving to wales or leaving them til the 4th

Is there a possibilty he is not in Wales, he just wants to have them a few days extra or maybe just using them to manipulate and control you

Just send a breezy text, 'leaving now will be at your house at 6pm' and please don't go alone, if possible have your phone on record in your hand so if he does kick off you have proof.

good luck hun.you are being totally inspiringly grown up and strong here.
remember any wobbles you may feel to smack away as his thoughts his implantations of doubts to try and cower you and make you be controlled and hurt. thinking like this can really help get over the worries and stumbles.when seeing it as his thoughts or his mind games they are easier to fight back.
keep going.be strong.dont let him see you fumble.emotional distress to a bully is like a feast! YOU CAN DO THIS.smile put your best kick ass acting all assured pants on and keep going.
I no it seems wearing and must be like a constant repeat,fight back repeat.but you will get there.becasue on the other side of every battle is you,your kids and another battle won.
and I tell you one day you will look back and think "wow I did that I fought hard."and how amazing it will feel.

Definitely text saying you will see him at "his house" at 6pm. So he cannot turn around and say you agreed to something else.

Hoping they are there waiting for you OP.x

Please take someone with you OP.

Good luck

Good luck op
Just be glad you are no longer with this horrible man.

Well done for standing firm.

Don’t forget to keep screenshots of his messages.

Hope your girls are back with you in the next few minutes.

If the court order specifically says Boxing Day until 2nd January, then he's breaking the court order saying he's not bringing them home until 4th January

Good luck OP. You have handled this so well x

I personally wouldn't be able to drive for 10 hours in one day by myself and anyone saying she can do it no problem must be some kind of super mum.

Drive up the day before and then drive home. Don't let him be a dick he's trying to make you get angry and then make you out to be the dick.

You are handling this really well. Good luck.

Good luck- well done for tackling it through all the proper channels.

Well done OP. You are doing great.

Hopefully you are enjoying snuggles with your children now.

I still don't have my girls.

I made it very clear that I would be at his house to get them and he wasn't there. He is at his parents over an hour away. He now says I am in breach of the court order for not collecting them and that my little girl is crying because I'm not there.

Can you get advise from police?