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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to want my kids back??

379 replies

RoseNarene · 01/01/2018 16:44

Just before Christmas my ex and I agreed at court to a child arrangement order whereby the kids (5 and 1) live with me roughly 65% of the time. The court order also stipulated Christmas arrangements as being shared 50/50, and were more specific for this Christmas - he was to have them from 9am Boxing Day and then I pick them up at 6pm on the 2nd January.

He has taken them to a holiday home in Wales and is demanding that I make the 5 hour journey to collect them on the 2nd. If I can't then he will bring them back on the 4th.

It may only seem like a couple of days but they have already been away from me for 7 days and my baby is only 1. This is all about control for him. He isn't technically breaking the court order because it says I have to collect them but it doesn't state a location, but we live 10 minutes from each other so the assumption would naturally be that I collect from his house.

What do I do?

OP posts:
ProjectGainsborough · 02/01/2018 19:03

What a manipulative dick. However, he has breached the court order, which is in some ways, good news.

You can report this tomorrow and get legal advice. For now, stay calm, get your kids and put this into a box until you can deal with it.

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 02/01/2018 19:05

It sounds like your ex is my friends ex!

I honestly don’t know what the answer is but I hope you have them back soon!
Some people are selfish dicks and would rather get one over on an ex than to do what’s right by the kids.

It’s a long way off but he will show the kids at some point what an idiot he is and they will distance themselves from him. Just make sure you keep records of correspondence with your solicitor so when the time comes and the girls have questions you have all the proof that you tried to do what was best for them instead of point scoring

Naillig222 · 02/01/2018 19:06

You definitely haven’t breached the order. Sure if that was the case he could travel to Australia and you’d have to go there to collect them.
What an absolute asshole for doing this

BewareOfDragons · 02/01/2018 19:07

IF you haven't called the police yet, CALL THEM!

He is in violation of the court order.

You have not agreed to collect them anywhere else.

He is in violation of it, not you.

Call them!

StinkyVonWinky · 02/01/2018 19:07

Stay strong OP, I have just read the whole thread and am horrified at what's happening. Well done for getting your barrister and police involved, that was a smart move. If MN had a superwoman emoji that's what I'd be posting right now! You are awesome.

FrivolouslyFancifulFannie · 02/01/2018 19:09

and its him who willing to take it this far and put your kids in distress just to get one up on you.

You have done NOTHING wrong

Gazelda · 02/01/2018 19:09

Your priority right now is obviously to get the girls back, and to make sure they know you went to the appropriate place to get them but there must have been a misunderstanding with Daddy.

But I must admit that I'm a bit pleased that he's played so spectacularly into your hands in the Medium-longer term!

wibblywobblywoo · 02/01/2018 19:13

Well firstly Flowers for you OP for all this crap he's putting you through but as pp's have said he is playing right into your hands - honestly he's not only a twat he's a monumentally stupid twat as well!

He's in breach of the court order - which is such unbelievably daft behaviour but there you go, twats generally do think they are above the law/decent behaviour/common sense etc etc and he is the one who's going to pay the price for that idiocy.

Stay strong, you are completely in the right, keep doing everything by the book, document and record everything, stay as calm as you can.

And go you OP! I bet his flabber was well and truly gasted when you called his bluff on his twattyness.

youarenotkiddingme · 02/01/2018 19:15

What a complete cuntweazel.

Trying to blame you as well Shock

I'd text - I was at the specified pick up point as per the court order. As you are not there I am reporting the children missing.

NSEA · 02/01/2018 19:15

I feel awful for you OP. Stay strong and ensure he comes to his house for you to collect. Then get police and courts involved b

GardenGeek · 02/01/2018 19:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mummyoflittledragon · 02/01/2018 19:16

What a manipulative, horrid man. Your children aren’t pawns. Angry

Tistheseason17 · 02/01/2018 19:16

There are simply no words. Sorry he has done this Flowers

BewareOfDragons · 02/01/2018 19:18

They're well over an hour late. I sincerely hope OP is currently liaising with the police over her missing child. I hope he arrests the cunt in front of his parents after removing the child to safety.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 02/01/2018 19:20

This is what arseholes do. Hope you get them back v soon.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 02/01/2018 19:23

Good advice from donquixotedelamancha
I agree,do not deviate from the condition of the court order. The pick up point is his home address
Do not go to Wales, go to his address be there prompt at 6pm. If he isn’t there inform police and your solicitor & barrister

It is really important you adhere to the conditions of the order

Maelstrop · 02/01/2018 19:25

Can you attach a condition of arrest in England if he breaches the court order? I know a friend of mine did this when her ex was an equal twat.

skippykips · 02/01/2018 19:25

Op, when you finally get your kids back please please do not give him any ammunition. Take the children. Do not say a word to him about him being a dick! Whatever you say, he will twist. I know you are fuming. Definitely go back to court to sort this! Contact whoever you need to. But, do not speak to him or tell him he was out of order. Keep all communication over text/email. You then have w everything as evidence, and you can prove you have not done anything wrong!

I hope you get your babies back v v soon. Give them a huge kiss and cuddle! I imagine you have deeply missed them and this has just added to it alm!

DarkPeakScouter · 02/01/2018 19:26

Call the police!

RhinoGirl · 02/01/2018 19:27

Are they home yet OP?

CoraPirbright · 02/01/2018 19:27

From youarenotkiddingme:
I'd text - I was at the specified pick up point as per the court order. As you are not there I am reporting the children missing.

I would def do this - you have spoken to the police and your barrister which is brilliant and means that you have started the ball rolling. He is an utter bell-end. Hope your kids are back with you soon. Xx

lollipop7 · 02/01/2018 19:29

His text message is actually all the evidence you need to show breach of the contact order, in rea don conjunction with the Court Order

I agree with @Alisvolatpropiis that considering one of your children is a baby of one year old. I couldn’t physically stand being away from me baby at that age for seven days. It would literally break me.

Inform the police. Take it from there, and tomorrow file to vary the order ASAP and to cut him off at the pass as. I hope as possible as he is using the children to try to week your head, not the point of contact

I’m so sorry you’re being put through this, i fear this will be me in months to come and it is the worst feeling ever

💐💐💐

lollipop7 · 02/01/2018 19:30

My not me baby 🙈

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 02/01/2018 19:30

Op doesn’t need to call police!based on what she said it’s not emergency
Op has already sought police and legal advice

SparklyUnicornTractors · 02/01/2018 19:33

The bastard. Flowers Poor you and your poor little girls whom he's happy to upset and make anxious in order to play his games.

You're doing all the right things OP.

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