Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why this was deleted?

112 replies

SpiritedAweigh · 30/12/2017 12:11

Have about 5 stone to lose and am very self concious.
My sister did a pole fitness class and loved it last year and I really wanted to do it myself as a way to gain confidence and get fit.

A pole company posted on FB in our local page about pole fitness classes. I looked on their FB page and as expected everyone with their 1 month beginner course certificates were very toned and fit.

I am worried I wouldn't even be able to lift myself Grin and am self conscious about shorts.
So I replied to the advert "Hello, this looks fun, do you do any plus size classes please?

The owner 'liked' the reply and said "we don't care about your size! You don't have to be great to start but you have to start to be Great! We welcome all sizes!"

Which is nice but I replied

"Thankyou, but I know that I myself and other larger ladies would feel more comfortable in a class with people of a similar body shape for confidence reasons. Maybe you could look into this?

My comment was deleted. Then the whole post was deleted Hmm

I messaged the man who posted it who said it wasn't him that deleted it and it must have been his admin (it was his personal fb page) and before I could reply he BLOCKED me :/

Aibu to think it was weird to delete it and block me over asking a question??

OP posts:
TenancyTroublesAgain · 30/12/2017 12:18

That is really weird. Wtf?

Confusedbeetle · 30/12/2017 12:23

It might be, but you might have made him feel uncomfortable in some way. Practically its a non starter. You can't tell people they can only come to the class it they are fat. works both ways. He may also have felt you were taking the P and wasting his time. Something triggered this response. you may never know what

k2p2k2tog · 30/12/2017 12:26

They are saying - "99% of the people who attend our classes are skinny Minnies and that''s the way we like it. Feel free to attend but don't expect us to put on a class for fatties".

I think you'd be better off looking elsewhere to be honest. I'm far from skinny and have been made to feel very welcome at a local yoga/pilates/tai chi type class where the age range is 20 to 70 and the dress size 8 to 28.

Pengggwn · 30/12/2017 12:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BumWad · 30/12/2017 12:29

Weird to delete it but you can’t expect them to hold a separate class for larger ladies surely? Confused

DoculamentDoculament · 30/12/2017 12:34

Can you imagine what would happen if they advertised a class for plus size people? How would you word it without people taking offence or talk about 'body-shaming' and segregation of non-thin people? Or thin people complaining that you wouldn't be able to put on a class for 'size 12 and under' or whatever?

It'd be a minefield!

scrabbler3 · 30/12/2017 12:36

Round here, I've heard of "women only", "postnatal" and "over 60s" classes, but never "overweight" classes. For whatever reason, the concept won't work, otherwise places would be doing it I guess. Perhaps the admin didn't want to enter into a public debate and risk a viral "club discriminates against bigger people" thing.

ScreamingValenta · 30/12/2017 12:36

Could he have been worried that your question might put other plus-sized customers off? He'd replied in a welcoming way which he probably thought would dispel the worries of larger people from taking part; but then you replied again raising the issues of lack of confidence and feeling uncomfortable - he might have thought this would plant ideas in other people's minds, or that they'd take it you'd been to a class already and had a bad experience.

Note - I'm not saying I think your question was unreasonable; just trying to imagine what the owner might have been thinking.

PurpleDaisies · 30/12/2017 12:37

I agree, a plus size class is a non-starter. What would happen if they advertised a class for people size 10 or under? My gym classes are full of people of all shapes and sizes. Just bite the bullet and go.

Snowman41 · 30/12/2017 12:37

First off if you have 5 stone to lose pole dancing is unlikely to be of any benefit whatsoever. It's diet mainly followed by initial cardio like walking.

I think you were a CF to challenge him after he answered your question. You seem to be coming at it from a discriminatory POV but it is t that at all. I run my own business and I would also delete any CF comments suggesting I need to change the way I do things. It was really rude of you to do that.

PurpleDaisies · 30/12/2017 12:38

And also, if you lost weight so you weren’t plus size any more, you’d have to give up your class.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 30/12/2017 12:39

What k2p said. You've made him uncomfortable somehow so he's just headed it off at the pass.

Great idea though. I think 'silks' would be a great class for every figure type.

Monoblock67 · 30/12/2017 12:39

I think he was nice and helpful and supportive of you in his comments. If you’re the one who has the problem with ‘other peoples bodies’ then why should they construct a whole class just for you and similar sized folk? He tried to make you feel welcome.

kaytee87 · 30/12/2017 12:40

I don't know anywhere that does fitness classes for 'plus size ladies'. What would the cut off be? Bmi 25/30 size 14/18? Who decides what is plus size?

Original poster
SpiritedAweigh · 30/12/2017 12:42

Ok. Fair enough.

OP posts:
kaytee87 · 30/12/2017 12:44

There's some great weight loss support threads on mn op. I'll be going back to that section once I've recovered from my broken ankle/leg Smile

dinosaursandtea · 30/12/2017 12:51

Are you kidding me, pps? I know classes that run specifically for plus size women! The thing is, they’re usually run by women who actually understand. The key word seems to be ‘body positive’ if that helps!

MammaTJ · 30/12/2017 12:51

I think your best bet would be to contact a dance studio that does classes for all ages. I know one local to me that has a few more cuddlesome members who happen to be fabulous dancers!

kaytee87 · 30/12/2017 12:52

@dinosaursandtea I've honestly never seen one. What is their cut off for plus size? It would be a tricky thing to manage.

Namechangetempissue · 30/12/2017 12:52

I think he probably thinks you are going to troll him with comments about how they don't offer classes for everyone and put off his customers by making out he only caters for smaller sized people -which I'm sure you are not! I think he answered your initial question well and you were welcome to join. My gym has people in every shape and size, and honestly nobody bats an eyelid at anyone else. That is the absolute truth. We are all far too consumed in our own workouts and body hangups!

thatcatpidgeon · 30/12/2017 12:55

I think what you were suggesting was a terrible idea and totally understand his motivation. He was inclusive and welcoming and you got pushy.

Fitness classes are for all shapes and sizes - plus presuming you reached your goal (which would take more than just those classes) then would you have to leave? What constitutes larger and how should they choose to discriminate on that basis, weigh ins on the way in?

I have an understanding of both your position and his (a background in fitness and personal experience of weight issues), if you have other friends with similar issues and goals perhaps team up with them and get a personal trainer who is happy to train a small group - then you have a focused and inclusive group but are also not creating a minefield for some poor guy who is trying to make a living.

DoculamentDoculament · 30/12/2017 12:56

How would you judge who was suitable for a 'body positive' class? A certain size or a certain weight? I honestly don't know how you'd go about it.

And would they have to leave if they got down to a certain size/weight?

Viviennemary · 30/12/2017 12:57

The owner had a good attitude not caring about sizes. it would be worse to keep going on about size. Lose a bit of weight first if you'd feel better before you join. But why not go along and give it a chance.

CurryWorst · 30/12/2017 12:58

of course it was deleted. He was welcoming and nice and you told him how to run his business and suggested an impractical and useless way to do it!
If you want a class for larger women, start your own.

roomsonfire · 30/12/2017 12:59

Its weird to delete the comments but he could've said 'X class would be perfect for you! why dont you come try it?'

instructors usually know the make up of their classes and some classes on specific days tend to attract the larger ladies whereas others more skinny ladies or older ladies etc

He wouldn't have to specifically advertise these classes but would know personally if there was a class with more variation in body type.

Swipe left for the next trending thread