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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder why this was deleted?

112 replies

SpiritedAweigh · 30/12/2017 12:11

Have about 5 stone to lose and am very self concious.
My sister did a pole fitness class and loved it last year and I really wanted to do it myself as a way to gain confidence and get fit.

A pole company posted on FB in our local page about pole fitness classes. I looked on their FB page and as expected everyone with their 1 month beginner course certificates were very toned and fit.

I am worried I wouldn't even be able to lift myself and am self conscious about shorts.
So I replied to the advert "Hello, this looks fun, do you do any plus size classes please?

The owner 'liked' the reply and said "we don't care about your size! You don't have to be great to start but you have to start to be Great! We welcome all sizes!"

Which is nice but I replied

"Thankyou, but I know that I myself and other larger ladies would feel more comfortable in a class with people of a similar body shape for confidence reasons. Maybe you could look into this?

My comment was deleted. Then the whole post was deleted

I messaged the man who posted it who said it wasn't him that deleted it and it must have been his admin (it was his personal fb page) and before I could reply he BLOCKED me :/

Aibu to think it was weird to delete it and block me over asking a question??

OP posts:

Ollivander84 · 30/12/2017 18:30

Foggie- the one I go to is definitely pole fitness. There's a warm up then you practice different moves and conditioning (fitness stuff), and a warm down. So no "dancing" as such, you might put a few moves together but I am in no way elegant
TBH I'm not bothered about photos, I do plus size modelling and have a thick skin!

RavenWings · 30/12/2017 18:31

I'm a poler, and ime the pole community is one of the more welcoming fitness groups - so I've found. If you want to pole, you need to simply go to a class. It does tend to need very little clothing (but not initially really, skin is just needed to grip as you advance). No crazy upper body or core strength is needed to begin, you can build that up as you go.

You asked, he gave you a very courteous reply. People do not have to do something just because you ask.

Anniethinggose · 30/12/2017 19:00

I can see why he would have several reasons for deleting your comment. It could be detrimental to his business or off putting to the other ladies who already go. He probably works hard building women's confidence of all shapes and abilities and has an inclusive, welcoming ethos which he then perceived you shat all over by projecting your own insecurities and patronising him in one fell swoop.

FoggieFishieCarpeDiem · 30/12/2017 21:48

Ollivander

Yup, I can do elegant as long as I’m allowed to sit or simply walk... anything else? Nope.
Ah, yes, the fitness aspect probably wouldn’t interest me this much? Idk. I mean, I already do sports... but to really challenge myself I should probably dance?

Well, Ollivander. You’re clearly more self-confident than I am. 👍 :)

ScreamingValenta · 30/12/2017 21:49

Amazing photos, Ollivander. It might be just the angle, but it scarcely looks like you're gripping the pole at all - it's as if you're magnetised to it.

RobotGoat · 31/12/2017 00:45

Haven't RTFT so this may already have been suggested, but if it's wearing skimpy clothes that puts you off, I suggest looking for a class where they use silicone poles. You can wear leggings and full tops as you don't need the skin-to-pole grip. We have people of all shapes and sizes at my class, and it's so welcoming. Lovely atmosphere 😊

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 31/12/2017 01:10

Why on earth would they do classes just for overweight people? That’s madness. People would be getting offended left, right and centre if you tried to come up with a criteria for it.

They were very welcoming and had a very friendly response to your ridiculous question; I completely understand why your subsequent comment was deleted.

scottishdiem · 31/12/2017 01:15

You were starting to sound like a Fativisit. So not worth the effort on social media if you are a very small team.

(I am morbidly obese btw so not anti overweight people)

LemonysSnicket · 31/12/2017 01:33

My friend did pole dance for a year! She went from a size 18 to a size 12!

I’d just try another place c

Snowman41 · 31/12/2017 12:15

My friend did pole dance for a year! She went from a size 18 to a size 12!

She didn't do that pole dancing alone!

FoggieFishieCarpeDiem · 31/12/2017 12:39

Snowman

Also depends on how often she poledanced, I guess.
let’s say she took... 3? Classes and maybe went on a walk once a week. That would be about ... 3 to 6 hours of pole dancing (which I imagine to be cardio and strength, but I might be wrong) and an additional one hour of walking...

If she kept everything else the same or even ate slightly healthier / consumed less calories. That would still be a rather huge life style change for someone that did no / very little exercise...

Thehogfather · 31/12/2017 13:03

Actually you could. It's not just the case that she was burning enough extra calories to lose that much. But her eating habits are likely to have changed without her particularly trying. Vigourous exercise isn't comfortable on a full stomach so that will have made a change. If you're at a class you aren't sat snacking. You'd soon realise that a sugary snack followed by an afternoon slump isn't the best way to stay motivated. You'd also learn what actual hunger feels like, rather than 'it's dinner time I must be hungry' 'I'm bored need a snack'. Plus as you got fitter you'd exercise more in general. As you developed more muscle you would burn more calories to maintain it. And so on.

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