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Original poster

You should not invite a vegetarian for Christmas if you have no intention of catering for them?

586 replies

Trueheart1 · 29/12/2017 11:24

You should not invite a vegetarian for Christmas dinner if you have no intention of catering for them?

I am a vegetarian. I went to my MIL's for Christmas dinner and all I could eat was Brussels sprouts, peas, carrots and potatoes. Without gravy!

The stuffing, gravy etc.. all had animal products.

There were 14 of us in total and 3 of us were very disappointed vegetarians.

I usually host and make sure everyone is catered for. I felt quite irritated, as I had offered to bring any part of the meal and if she had told me she was not catering for the vegetarians, I would have done it.

My MIL is very traditional and supports fox hunting. I suspect that she does not agree with being vegetarian and this was her passive aggressive way of showing that.

In every other way she is lovely and a great MIL. She wants us to come again next year. How do I politely make sure this does not happen again?

OP posts:
MikeUniformMike · 29/12/2017 19:03

Because people are saying a plate of boiled veg is plenty to serve people who you have invited to your house for Christmas Dinner, and that you should be grateful, even though they had offered to bring something.

It's bad hosting and it looks like it was deliberate.

zzzzz · 29/12/2017 19:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tippz · 29/12/2017 19:09
Confused
greenlynx · 29/12/2017 19:16

The answer to your question OP -- YES, you shouldn't invite vegetarians ( or people with other dietary requiments) for Christmas ( or other events) if you have not intention to cater for them therefore to treat them with respect.
I'm not sure that your MIL is nice, she looks nice when it suits her. She knew about you being vegetarian, she was aware that gravy's not suitable!, but she decided not to bother about you and other vegetarians. It will be a red flag for me.
What to do depends on family situation and what's you want to achieve. MIL is new as I understood so any word about cooking or whatever could be seen as you are against FIL's new wife. I'm not surprised none of you said anything. Of course, your husband could mention this to FIL, but again it depends how close they are and how good their relationship. You could make a point and not to go next time but it will damage your husband's relationship with his father. You can take something with you. At the moment you don't know will you be invited next year / will you be able to go/ etc. It's just you should be more aware about MIL's attitude in the future.
I'm very surprised by all nasty comments. Why invite people if you don't want them to have nice time? Why all this hate and exclusion for vegetarians? Why we so resent people whose life choices differ from ours? It's 2018 coming, not Stone Age. Shops are full of different stuff.
I'm not vegetarian by the way.

Mumof56 · 29/12/2017 19:20

You got a plate of vegetables. A plate of vegetables is suitable for vegetarians. Confused

Rainbowmother · 29/12/2017 19:20

As pointed out it's so damn easy to cater for a vegetarian if you want to.

She's making a point and I don't think you can politely decline. Think she's banking on you all being too nice to complain

Tippz · 29/12/2017 19:20

Well said @greenlynx. ^

Tippz · 29/12/2017 19:21

And well said @rainbowmother

Tippz · 29/12/2017 19:22

@mumof56

You got a plate of vegetables. A plate of vegetables is suitable for vegetarians

I hope the next time you go to someone's house for dinner, they give you a plate of minced beef and fuck-all else.

Hallamoo · 29/12/2017 19:30

veggan ahhhhhhhhhh! THERES NO SUCH FUCKING THING AS A VEGGAN! He's just a twat that is a vegetarian, but wants to feel special. I swear the first time some wanker tells me they're a fucking VEGGAN I'll lose it!

I'm a vegetarian with a dairy intolerance, I don't eat meat, fish or dairy products, but I do eat free range eggs. If I said that every time I went to a restaurant or to someone's house for dinner, I would sound much more like a twat than if I said I was a veggan.

I don't want to feel special, I just want to eat things that I like and won't make me ill, is that too much to ask?

I'd never heard the term veggan until now, I usually say I'm vegan, but then people seem to be confused when I ask for mayonnaise, so I was delighted to hear a term that applied to be - but I don't want people to think that I'm a twat.....oh hang on, I don't care if bigots think I'm a twat, they can have that because I think they're bigots.

MikeUniformMike · 29/12/2017 19:36

A plate of boiled veg is suitable for vegetarians is suitable for a vegetarian but it isn't really a meal. It certainly isn't Christmas Dinner.

Cantuccit · 29/12/2017 19:36

You got a plate of vegetables. A plate of vegetables is suitable for vegetarians. confused

A plate of veg is not a meal. Where's the protein?

mirialis · 29/12/2017 19:36

I'm a vegetarian with a dairy intolerance, I don't eat meat, fish or dairy products, but I do eat free range eggs. If I said that every time I went to a restaurant or to someone's house for dinner, I would sound much more like a twat than if I said I was a veggan

I work in catering. Honestly, if you said, "due to intolerances I have to follow a largely vegan diet with the exception of eggs" I would completely understand (and be grateful you ate eggs as it makes life much easier, though I do make some amazing vegan food even if I do say so myself). If you said "I'm a veggan" I'd think you were a bit annoying!

Either way, I'd cook you a lovely meal.

Not suggesting you should particularly care about my opinion at all - just thought I'd mention it.

mirialis · 29/12/2017 19:41

In fact I have fairly recently cooked for someone who had all the same choices and intolerances as you AND was gluten intolerant. I was so bloody pleased when he said he could eat eggs!

Hallamoo · 29/12/2017 19:43

Mirialis - thanks I appreciate that.

I don't use the term veggan (never heard it until today), I do usually say as you suggested, or I just say I'm vegan, but I wonder why the term 'veggan' is annoying or twattish, but not the terms; vegan, vegetarian, or pescetarian?

Mumof56 · 29/12/2017 19:47

A plate of veg is not a meal. Where's the protein?

I'm sure you know Wink

Brussels sprouts 100g of sprouts has approx. 3.4g of protein

peas 109g peas has approx. 5g of protein

carrots 100g of carrots has approx. 0.9g of protein

and potatoes I medium potato has approx. 4g of protein

SuburbanRhonda · 29/12/2017 19:54

You got a plate of vegetables. A plate of vegetables is suitable for vegetarians.

It’s actually suitable for everyone. So I’ll ask again - how come everyone didn’t get a plate of vegetables, just the vegetarians?

Hallamoo · 29/12/2017 19:54

Adult women need approx 46g of protein a day. That meal contains less than 10g!

Hallamoo · 29/12/2017 19:55

Sorry, just over 10g! No where near enough.

KERALA1 · 29/12/2017 19:56

Made mushroom and cashew nut stuffing day before ok 15 mins tops and microwaved that for a few minutes on "the day". Not vegetarian just fancied it. Was delicious - that with roast veg and red cabbage and nice veggie gravy would be lovely for a vegetarian and take up no oven space. It's not hard. Yanbu op.

Mumof56 · 29/12/2017 19:58

That meal contains less than 10g

No it doesn't Hmm

It adds up to13.3g (that's if portions were 100g Hmm)

That's 29% of the daily total on dinner.

Breakfast, lunch, tea...

Hallamoo · 29/12/2017 20:02

I did correct myself in my 2nd post and say it was just over 10g. You'd expect to get the majority of your protein in your main meal though, not 29%! I suspect people don't have much protein in their breakfast...

MargaretCavendish · 29/12/2017 20:03

That's 29% of the daily total on dinner.

Breakfast, lunch, tea...

Given that everyone else had had, you know, an actual Christmas dinner I assume they probably didn't have two other larger meals that day.

mirialis · 29/12/2017 20:08

I wonder why the term 'veggan' is annoying or twattish, but not the terms; vegan, vegetarian, or pescetarian?

Because it sounds faddy and being "difficult" without reason. Once "Veggan" catches on, we will all get used to it and it will cease to be annoying!

I always cater to people's requirements but it is a bit bloody annoying when you see people picking at the leftovers of other people's food that clearly contains the stuff they told me they couldn't eat. Intolerances I get. Ethical choices I get. Fads without rationale... yeah, bit annoying. I am ok with fussiness, though, and would much prefer someone said "I really hate mushrooms, please don't include them in any of the dishes".

Mumof56 · 29/12/2017 20:10

I suspect people don't have much protein in their breakfast

An egg has approx. 13g of protein in it. That's another 29%.

In total those 2 meals are 58% of daily total.

100g of peanuts has 26g. Daily total 52.3g

Lunch and tea can be skipped as we've consumed 114% of daily total needed...