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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU - heating for guests

388 replies

ifonly4 · 27/12/2017 19:15

Went to BIL's for Boxing Day and the house was freezing. They asked if we were warm enough, DH said he was a bit cold so they said they'd put the heating on low. We had our lunch in conservatory and in afternoon we noticed that we could see everyone's breath in the lounge. I then spotted a temperature gauge, 14c. AIBU, but this was far too cold for guests? Have to admit we tend to have temperature around 19c when we have guests.

I don't think it's got anything to do with money. We invited them here but BIL's wife loves entertaining and insisted we go to them. Food was lovely two choices, veggies, salad, bread and two pudds to choose from (better than what I'd have offered in all fairness), so it's not as if they'd invited us under pressure.

OP posts:
FuzzyCustard · 27/12/2017 20:36

IHave I really hope things look up for you soon. And education budgets allow for many weeks of supply teaching! We tend to go for Eat not Heat...but yes it is difficult.

Smarshian · 27/12/2017 20:37

Had they been away? We came home after a few days away today and house was 12 degrees. Put heating on to 21 degrees which is our standard and it has only just reached that temperature despite us putting heating on at 11.30. It took an hour or so to get to 14 degrees.

greendale17 · 27/12/2017 20:37

14 degrees is grim and really bloody rude. Don't invite people over if you're too tight to put the heating on. It's one day!

^This. Mine is 20 degrees minimum

StrawBasket · 27/12/2017 20:38

peachgreen How on earth do you 23 degree-lovers cope when there's a baby in the house? My understanding is that they shouldn't be warmer than 16-20 degrees, preferably the lower end, as being too warm increases the risk of SIDS.

Babies do not regulate their temperature, true, but you know people have babies in Australia, Africa and hot countries. Humans do adapt, they don't have to freeze.

mimibunz · 27/12/2017 20:38

I don’t wear jumpers inside my house and never have! I would be miserable in a cold house, say below 19.

Bloopbleep · 27/12/2017 20:40

I feel the cold really badly and hate being in a cold house. That said I spent Christmas with my elderly grandfather who refused to turn his heating down from permanently on 30. We were as stripped down as was decent in company and still we were dripping in sweat yet my grandfather
was still feeling cold.

In a cold house I’d have no problem sitting in my jacket hat and gloves but I’m not sure I’d get away with sitting in my undies in a hot house

missperegrinespeculiar · 27/12/2017 20:41

22 degrees here, slightly too hot for me, heating has gone automatically off just now

we once had tenants from Florida who instead they should be able to wear t-shirts and shorts in the house all year round and seemed to think it was our fault they simply could not get the (rather big) house they rented from us to that level!

StrawBasket · 27/12/2017 20:41

Most people I know leaving in very cold houses tend to put the heating on higher when they have guests, but it can still feel cold if you are used to live in a modern over-heated box. If you are invited for diner, bring lots of layers, not everybody has the same preferences, you can't guess how cold or hot the house will be.

Some people would feel quite ill in a stuffy house, there's no rule on the acceptable room temperature.

What is rude is expecting your guests to take their shoes off. My feet are always cold, it's horrible to end up nearly bare feet in the winter.

TuftedLadyGrotto · 27/12/2017 20:44

I do take layers off to cool down. But I can only take so many off and be decent at work. I need to dress so that I can go out in my lunch break/too and from work. 18 is not cold with a card or jumper. 23 is unbearable. And not great for the environment either.

ForalltheSaints · 27/12/2017 20:47

If you find it too cold then maybe you should decline an invite next year and offer to host.

Assuming you were wearing clothes suitable for a winter's day and not trousers three inches too short because you are a fashion idiot/victim.

peachgreen · 27/12/2017 20:49

@StrawBasket Sure, and it's often hotter than that in the summer here - but surely you'd still want to keep your house at the recommended temperature when it's possible instead of artificially heating it to above that?

FuzzyCustard · 27/12/2017 20:49

Assuming you were wearing clothes suitable for a winter's day and not trousers three inches too short because you are a fashion idiot/victim.
Ha ha...this made me laugh! Grin

brizzledrizzle · 27/12/2017 20:51

We have lovely blankets and throws in really bright colours and soft fabrics to snuggle under as none of us like wearing heaps of clothes. It's 18 in here now because I've had the heating on all day as I'm ill but that's unheard of.

codswallopandbalderdash · 27/12/2017 20:52

Bloody hell. Some people like it hot in their houses. So be it. We usually have our heating around 18. I hate the stuffiness otherwise.

StrawBasket · 27/12/2017 20:53

@Peachgreen I tend to increase the heating in my house with winter babies (not that I had that many Grin ) and keep it constant. I wouldn't personally recommend 30 degrees indoor in the winter, but i am sure a baby will be fine at 22-23!

If your baby starts the night at 18 in his room, then ends up in your bed a couple of hours later, there's too much difference!

Natsku · 27/12/2017 20:53

Do the posters who have their heating at 23 live in draught proofed houses?

Yup. My house was built in the 40s but well insulated with sawdust and wool and triple glazing - haven't noticed any draughts.

So, she says, even in the summer, you have to have the heating on to have hot water

Had that issue this summer, first summer in the house and couldn't figure out how to separate the heating from the hot water but instead of keeping the heating on we just went without hot water (put it on for twenty minutes before a shower and then off again a couple times a week) until OH finally figured out how to separate the systems (I had already suggested how it was done but he didn't believe me Hmm ) still seemed silly to fire up the oil boiler in the summer just for hot water so went without most of the time especially after we ran out of oil and had to heat it with firewood which was a faff, will probably get a small electric boiler for next summer.

Finderscrispy · 27/12/2017 20:54

Mine is set to 18-20 and never really considered myself madly extravagant with heating before I read this thread.
And my energy supplier seems to think so to - my bills tell me my usage is below average for similar sized properties in my area.
I wouldn’t have thought it’s even worth bothering putting the heating on to get your home to 9 - 14 degrees.

Rossigigi · 27/12/2017 20:54

Mines currently 25Blush and is all throughout the day and heating kicks in at 23 during the night.

Natsku · 27/12/2017 20:56

Hadn't heard that about babies and SIDS risk - everyone keeps their houses above 22ish here and I don't think the SIDS rate is any higher (think it's one of the lowest in the world actually)

codswallopandbalderdash · 27/12/2017 20:56

I am obviously rude too as I ask people to take their shoes off. Why would you expect to keep them on when you have been wearing them outside?? Don't want mud, dog shit, bird poo, chewing gum and goodness knows what else trodden into my carpets!

lurkingnotlurking · 27/12/2017 21:05

I found the recommended temps for avoiding sids maddening. My home was too cold at that temp and I didn't understand it at all.

SinglePringle · 27/12/2017 21:05

I can’t bare overly hot houses. I had the heating on for a few hours earlier but have just turned it off so it can cool down before I go to bed - although the radiator in my room is set to only come on between 6 - 8am.

I’ve been at a relatives over Christmas. They had the thermostat set to 23 plus have an open fire. Thought I was going to expire!

acornsandnuts · 27/12/2017 21:06

I grew up in a really cold house. Often unable to sleep. It still gives me nightmares.

IveGotBillsTheyreMultiplying · 27/12/2017 21:06

I work in a shop and need woolly tights under thick trousers, a vest, long sleeved top and a thick jumper. Even then I do star jumps to keep warm and drink tea. It barely breaks 11 degrees on days when it's 3 or 4 outside as it has large windows and just a wall heater which is like a glorified hairdryer.

I like a cool house though and sleep with the window open and heating off even when it's freezing outside.

SinglePringle · 27/12/2017 21:07

Should add - the thermostat here is set to kick in at 17 degrees but obviously I can override it.