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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - heating for guests

388 replies

ifonly4 · 27/12/2017 19:15

Went to BIL's for Boxing Day and the house was freezing. They asked if we were warm enough, DH said he was a bit cold so they said they'd put the heating on low. We had our lunch in conservatory and in afternoon we noticed that we could see everyone's breath in the lounge. I then spotted a temperature gauge, 14c. AIBU, but this was far too cold for guests? Have to admit we tend to have temperature around 19c when we have guests.

I don't think it's got anything to do with money. We invited them here but BIL's wife loves entertaining and insisted we go to them. Food was lovely two choices, veggies, salad, bread and two pudds to choose from (better than what I'd have offered in all fairness), so it's not as if they'd invited us under pressure.

OP posts:
BootsAndCatsAndBootsAndCats · 27/12/2017 20:19

I find this competitive chilliness odd. Fair enough if you can't afford heating, but otherwise it is inhospitable. Our house is at 21 degrees at the moment, but we do turn the heating off in the late afternoon and light the fire in the sitting room so that the bedrooms aren't too warm, but the sitting room is lovely and warm for watching telly or reading a book in.

LazyDailyMailJournos · 27/12/2017 20:19

Piggy my living room has dropped as low as 9 before - and I'm in a flat which is only 12 years old. It's perfectly possible if you've had no heating on and been out all day.

I'm intrigued to know how much you all pay for your heating bills - it must cost a fortune!

Piggywaspushed · 27/12/2017 20:20

peach this is impossible in the summer in the UK, though. My new build upstairs is often between 27 and 30. It is unbearable. We have resorted to a couple of portable air con units . Expensive and very very loud.

FuzzyCustard · 27/12/2017 20:20

ouch we can't afford it...see post above. DH is ill and I was made redundant.

Greenshoots1 · 27/12/2017 20:20

17 degrees here, I'm in a tee shirt with bare legs and feet and quite warm

Westiegirl3 · 27/12/2017 20:21

If I visited family and felt as cold as you did I could honestly say I wouldn't be going back until the summer. My thermostat is set to 24 during the winter months and is set to come on so it's at this temp for when I get in from work, I despise being cold

CorbynsBumFlannel · 27/12/2017 20:22

Of course you can cool down at least as easily as you can warm up. If you can put an extra layer on if you're cold you can take one off of you're too warm. Or crack a window.
I find it much easier to cool down if I'm too warm I will open the back door and a few minutes later I'll be cool. When I get really cold I can put layers on and the fire etc and it takes literally hours for me to warm up.
I like my place warm. Warmer than at night time because I don't spend my days in fleecy pyjamas under a duvet!

lurkingnotlurking · 27/12/2017 20:22

We lent our house to friends of friends two winters ago. I distinctly told them to set the thermostat at whatever they wanted, having turned it down as there would be a short gap before they arrived. Came home to find it still set at a ridiculously low temp... I wonder if that's why they had no interest in popping back for their child's forgotten toy and having to make small talk maybe over a cup of tea.

Piggywaspushed · 27/12/2017 20:23

lazy I am not a heat lover and grew up in a house in Scotland with no heating and single glazing - so we had electric blankets, hot water bottles and electric fires (health and safety alert!). We never have heating on at night or during the day when we are out and the house might get as low as 17 or 16 in very cold weather.

Some of this depends on age of house, size of rooms and area of country but thermostats aren't accurate. We have one at work that is stuck on 12 when it is about 35- which causes a lot of interesting thermostat wars!

ShoesHaveSouls · 27/12/2017 20:23

14 degrees is sodding freezing.

SciFiFan2015 · 27/12/2017 20:23

I hate being too hot. Air drys out and dust rises. I get very sneezy. I like being around 16-18°. Had the in laws here for a few days and temp had been up at 23/24° I like being chilly and then wrapping up warm with hotties and blankets. So warm but cool air - better for my breathing IYSWIM.

diddl · 27/12/2017 20:25

If I had heating on high enough to not need a jumper, I'd have a headache & really sore throat.

Piggywaspushed · 27/12/2017 20:27

fuzzy I might be being naïve but are you not eligible for any sort of help towards cold weather fuel? You bloody well should be if you aren't .

LockedOutOfMN · 27/12/2017 20:27

DM and DF's house - where we are now - is always freezing. They think 17° is boiling and leave doors and even windows open even at this time of year. They turn off the heating completely at 5pm so it's not "too hot to sleep". The tiles on the floor of the kitchen are so cold they feel like ice even through thick socks and slippers. We are all used to it and spend most of the day huddled together in one room in multiple layers and with blankets over us. SIL looks like Joey Tribbiani when he wears Chandler's entire wardrobe at once. We also go out for walks so that by coming back in it feels a bit warmer.

SandyDenny · 27/12/2017 20:27

Of course people wear jumpers indoors, what a funny comment.

If I go to someone's house in the winter and they're only wearing a T shirt I think they must have money to burn. Do the posters who have their heating at 23 live in draught proofed houses? Mine is draughty and I can't afford to heat it any higher then 18 so wear layers if it's too cold.

Otterturk · 27/12/2017 20:30

I hate a hot house. I don't feel the cold and find my father's house hotter than the sun.

IHaveACuntingPlan · 27/12/2017 20:30

Thank you Fuzzy. We will be better off in a few months hopefully when I have more work coming my way (supply teacher and it's been a bit hit and miss this term) and dh starts hitting his targets and gets his monthly bonus again but the last 6 months have been incredibly tight - we're more skint now than we've ever been before. It's awful when you're forced to make that choice between heating or eating.

Clayhead · 27/12/2017 20:33

We've had guests so gone up to 20°C, normally 17/18°C. I took trips to the garage to cool off when they were here and kept our bedroom window open!

FuzzyCustard · 27/12/2017 20:33

piggy we are entitled to the cold weather payment, (at least I think we are, we got it last year, you have to reapply each year and they don't actually tell you whether or not you've got it!) but sadly they don't pay it till April, by which time we have had to pay out for several winter bills. And of course, it is very limited...would probably pay for three or four weeks of "normal" heating.
We used to have decent jobs and a normal life...hey ho!

OuchLegoHurts · 27/12/2017 20:33

Sorry Fuzzy I had read that but hadn't clicked that it was you. It's an absolute disgrace that people have to go without heat in 2017 for any reason. I hope you get back on your feet soon, before next winter.

catwithflowers · 27/12/2017 20:33

We live in a big, old house. Our downstairs often drops to 15 through the day in the winter, which is fine when we are at work but not much fun when we are home. The upstairs rooms are warmer but even with layers and a thick sweater I find 15 degrees too cold. Around 18 is comfortable for me and certainly when we have friends and family over, I always make sure I bump the temperature up. Being freezing cold makes me miserable. ❄️😳❄️

HarrysMeghan · 27/12/2017 20:34

Out house is at a constant 23 degrees in the day and at 10pm it's set to drop to 16 degrees through till 5am. I can't bear a cold house, it makes me feel rotten. I rarely visit my parents in the winter as their house is freezing. I hated it growing up. I pay over the direct debit limit advised by the heating company so that the bills are not a huge shock when they come in.
Heating is something I absolutely can't compromise on.

MrsSchadenfreude · 27/12/2017 20:34

Our tenants said they couldn’t afford to put the heating on, or use the tumble drier. Nor did they open any widows, ever. As a result, we’re fighting their mould legacy, resulting from a cold, unventilated house, which had lots of damp washing hanging about in it.

IHaveACuntingPlan · 27/12/2017 20:34

I'm so sorry Fuzzy, I've just read your posts properly. Are there any benefits or allowances that you can claim that you're not doing so at the moment? Even if you're a carer, could you find any part-time work at all? I really hope your situation improves soon and that your dh's health improves.

Piggywaspushed · 27/12/2017 20:35

My MIL's house is boiling. She has just had loads of work done to her house , a lot of it plumbing and electrics, most of it paid for on insurance and STILL says it is impossible to fit a thermostat or separate her heating system from hot water??

So, she says, even in the summer, you have to have the heating on to have hot water...

You'd be too hot naked in her house and she does always wear t shirts all year round.