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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU - heating for guests

388 replies

ifonly4 · 27/12/2017 19:15

Went to BIL's for Boxing Day and the house was freezing. They asked if we were warm enough, DH said he was a bit cold so they said they'd put the heating on low. We had our lunch in conservatory and in afternoon we noticed that we could see everyone's breath in the lounge. I then spotted a temperature gauge, 14c. AIBU, but this was far too cold for guests? Have to admit we tend to have temperature around 19c when we have guests.

I don't think it's got anything to do with money. We invited them here but BIL's wife loves entertaining and insisted we go to them. Food was lovely two choices, veggies, salad, bread and two pudds to choose from (better than what I'd have offered in all fairness), so it's not as if they'd invited us under pressure.

OP posts:

brizzledrizzle · 27/12/2017 19:44

You couldn’t see your breath at 14c

This. It's uncomfortably cold at 14c but it's often that here (old house, prone to drafts) and we've never seen our breath indoors.

Greenshoots1 · 27/12/2017 19:44

minimum in class room is 14, so that should be perfectly adequate on padded furniture in small rooms, possibly with rugs/ carpets/ curtains etc.

waitingforlifetostart · 27/12/2017 19:45

You are exaggerating. 14 degrees is a little chilly but nothing major. You certainly wouldn't see your breath.

Mumsymcmumface · 27/12/2017 19:46

Those of you who have your heating set to over 20, that’s warmer than most houses would be without heating for large chunks of may to September, especially at night.

Do you have your heating on all summer?

OuchLegoHurts · 27/12/2017 19:46

Those of you who live in houses of 9 degrees, do you not feel miserably cold all winter??? Layers or no layers, surely your noses and feet must be icy!

LazyDailyMailJournos · 27/12/2017 19:47

Ours is usually between 17-18. Anything higher than that and it's too warm for me. Heating for the bedroom is no more than 14-15 as I hate sleeping in a hot room.

specialsubject · 27/12/2017 19:47

Seeing breath would be a really cold house. I like mine non tropical but not damp. I do expect guests to wear jumpers indoors in winter.

And if offices now have to be 20c, I am so glad I work from home. That warm, mucky air con and windows that don't open - horrible.

oblada · 27/12/2017 19:48

Maybe they are used to it? I would have said something to be honest. I'm not too fussy or sensitive to the cold but 14 is very cold! Our house is around 18-20 degrees normally.

April229 · 27/12/2017 19:49

MILs house is the same - when we visit with DD it’s an issue as baby monitor temperature warnings go off at 15 degrees. There it is regularly 12-13!

NotTheFordType · 27/12/2017 19:50

Are they northern?

Every time friends or family have come to visit me in Yorkshire they've remarked on how cold it is and asked me to put the heating up.

Fucking pansies 😂

oblada · 27/12/2017 19:50

People wear jumpers indoor?? That's a new one on me! I'd hate it! If need be in the evening I'll snuggle under a blanket but I really wouldn't want to need to wear a jumper all day long.

Witchend · 27/12/2017 19:51

My df keeps his at 13 Deg. Definitely can't see your breath, but I accidentally knock it up upon arrival. I see it as a public service
TBD he does tend to just put a heater where him/DM are so it doesn't matter when it's just them.

DialsMavis · 27/12/2017 19:54

We don't like our house too warm but crank the heating up for guests.... just part of being hospitable (even if the DC are sweating and moaning)

TheDailyMailIsADisgustingRag · 27/12/2017 19:55

We do 18 or 19 degrees normally at this time of year, but 21 for guests.

If someone warned me in advance that they wouldn’t have the heating on though, I’d probably have no problem with it. A friend of mine hasn’t had any heating in his flat at all for a few years, as it’s too expensive for him to fix. He’s an oxbridge graduate with a pretty good job as well. It’s probably more common than people think.

Smeaton · 27/12/2017 19:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Threehoursfromhome · 27/12/2017 19:55

I think that's too cold, and I'm fairly warm-blooded - tend to keep my house at 18. My mum has her house at around 13, and says she prefers it, but will turn up heating to 18 in guest bedrooms and living room when she has visitors because she realises most people don't. Fourteen is a level when I would want to keep my coat on - it's different too when you're inside and not moving about much. It's a nice temp for a jog, less so for sitting still.

Greenshoots1 · 27/12/2017 19:56

If they had been cooking, the air would have been more humid, and if they have are drying washing, etc, all of which would have made it more likely you would see your breath at a higher temperature

LaurieMarlow · 27/12/2017 19:57

I hate it that cold, so I wouldn't go back tbh. Really inhospitable. I agree with whoever said wearing a jumper doesn't help. I particularly hate it when my nose gets cold and jumpers don't do anything for that.

18/19 is a civilised minimum for guests.

reetgood · 27/12/2017 19:57

Our house drops to 14 degrees when hearing is not on. I’m too warm at 17 degrees!

Now wondering if our poor houseguests are frozen.. yanbu to request an uplift in the heat but some of us don’t like being too warm.

Yabu to not wear a jumper indoors in winter, @oblada. Obviously you put on a layer before you put on the heating!

You don’t see your breath at 14 degrees. We lived in a flat with no central heating and single glazing once. I think it would be at less than 8 degrees. I wore a lot of layers. Our guests wore coats..

MikeUniformMike · 27/12/2017 19:57

17 is warm. Put on some layers.
Conservatories can feel chilly in winter.

Greenshoots1 · 27/12/2017 19:58

People wear jumpers indoor?? That's a new one on me! I'd hate it! If need be in the evening I'll snuggle under a blanket but I really wouldn't want to need to wear a jumper all day long

I don't get this comment - is it sarcastic, or supposed to be a joke, or genuine ( and from someone incredibly rich?)??

MeadowHay · 27/12/2017 19:59

People wear jumpers indoor?? That's a new one on me! I'd hate it! If need be in the evening I'll snuggle under a blanket but I really wouldn't want to need to wear a jumper all day long.

Being autistic I genuinely thought this was a joke at first!

There are people that exist that think it's inconceivable to wear a jumper indoors??? Wow. Mind blown.

To OP, no I don't think YABU. I think it's rude to host and not accomodate your guests heating preferences, I mean it would be different if you were staying for 2 weeks but for one evening or whatever they really should have ensured you were warm enough. On the other hand though if you say you're "just a bit cold" and they did put up the heating a bit, they did try and if you didn't tell them you were still cold, well, they're unable to read your mind. I would have told close family members if I was too cold somewhere. We always ask our guests multiple times if they're warm enough when they come here, because we don't heat our flat as much as I would like as we can't afford to (although DH finds it perfectly fine, I'm just particularly sensitive to the cold), and I always put the heating up higher for when we have visitors as I absolutely despise being cold and I would be mortified to think of having guests sitting being cold in my house.

TheDailyMailIsADisgustingRag · 27/12/2017 19:59

Having the heating off when it’s at a temperature when you’re happy wearing layers like vest, t-shirt, jumper / hoodie is fine imo. To want it to always be hot enough to wear just a t-shirt is probably not the norm.

Once it gets to needing a coat or sleeping bag temperature during the day, I think it’s time to put on the heating, if possible.

MeadowHay · 27/12/2017 19:59

Haha, cross posted!

froshiechipandbrickie · 27/12/2017 19:59

We live in a rather cold house but being able to see your breath?

We keep the nursery and the family room warmer than the rest of the house but being able to see your own breath really is a bit extreme. Especially in the afternoon (and not before the heating kicks in...)

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