Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - heating for guests

388 replies

ifonly4 · 27/12/2017 19:15

Went to BIL's for Boxing Day and the house was freezing. They asked if we were warm enough, DH said he was a bit cold so they said they'd put the heating on low. We had our lunch in conservatory and in afternoon we noticed that we could see everyone's breath in the lounge. I then spotted a temperature gauge, 14c. AIBU, but this was far too cold for guests? Have to admit we tend to have temperature around 19c when we have guests.

I don't think it's got anything to do with money. We invited them here but BIL's wife loves entertaining and insisted we go to them. Food was lovely two choices, veggies, salad, bread and two pudds to choose from (better than what I'd have offered in all fairness), so it's not as if they'd invited us under pressure.

OP posts:
Delatron · 01/01/2018 15:53

I think if we look at the original post it was about being a guest in a house where they could afford to put the heating on but chose not to and OP was cold.

Not being able to afford to have the heating on at this time of year must be awful and very tough.

WeAllHaveWings · 01/01/2018 16:21

I remember the bathrooms of my youth, they never had a radiator in them and the window was always wide open during the day all year round, seeing your breath was not unusual.

I don't like a cold house, but hate a head bursting hot one even more.

Eltonjohnssyrup · 01/01/2018 16:29

It really annoys me when people who like the cold choose to inflict it on other people. I went to boarding school and there was some awful Swiss girl in the bunk above me who insisted on having the window open in all weathers even though that often meant I got rained and snowed on in bed!

Being stuffy is not nice, but it's just not as unpleasant as painful body wracking cold. I think cold lovers should just suck it up TBF.

Gwenhwyfar · 01/01/2018 16:30

I agree Elton. If you're too hot, go outside for a bit. There's nothing those who are cold can do except stay in bed all day. There's a limit to how many layers you can have on.

FuzzyCustard · 01/01/2018 18:30

Yep, I know delatron, but the thread had moved in other directions (crumbs, if we only ever read the original post on MN things could be very different!). I'm just tired of the rather facetious and thoughtless comments about what mean, unpleasant people we must be for living in a cold house, and how we have no right to have friends round either.

It makes a hard situation even more difficult. And it makes me sad.

Maireadplastic · 01/01/2018 18:42

Star jumps and a jumper. Softies.

Gwenhwyfar · 01/01/2018 21:42

Fuzzy - people have said over and over that they're not complaining about people who can't afford heating, just ones that choose not to
As I've said above, if I'm invited by someone who can't afford heating, I'd rather bring my own food for them to spend the money on heating, or give them money for heating, or at least be warned in advance so that I can make a decision.

Maireadplastic · 01/01/2018 22:01

Dear Gwenhwyfar, We would love you to come for dinner. As my house is cold and I cannot afford to heat it for you, please could you bring some food or money.

Would that work?

BlackberryandNettle · 01/01/2018 22:13

Blimey 14 is pretty cold, definitely if you're just sitting around. My mum and dad go for 17, my in laws is on around 22! Ours is on 19 so I guess a compromise between what we're both used to.

AnotherWorry · 02/01/2018 00:25

My heating should be back on tomorrow and I have to say I think the thermostat will now live on 18 rather than 20/22. This week when we've organised the heaters right and it's not been freezing outside the indoor temp has been 12/14 degrees and as long as we're all wearing socks, slippers, vests and jumpers it's not been too bad. So from now on, the house will stay a few degrees cooler than it has for years and if anyone's chilly, they can put some more clothes on.

Gwenhwyfar · 02/01/2018 01:06

"As my house is cold and I cannot afford to heat it for you, please could you bring some food or money.

Would that work?"

It would work for me, don't know if hosts would be happy sending that. Could be easier to have a 'bring your own snacks and drinks party' or a pot luck party where everyone brings a dish then you don't have to explain that you can only afford the heating if you're not paying for food and drink.

FuzzyCustard · 02/01/2018 13:26

Indeed...and then someone new arrives at the end of the thread with "14 degrees? WTAF?" How is that in any way helpful, kind or thoughtful?

How about "Dear friends, don't bother with us until May". I am very thankful our friends aren't like that.

Maireadplastic · 02/01/2018 14:12

Hopefully your boiler is back in action by now, Another. Yes, Fuzzy, real friends wouldn't put conditions on their friendship luckily!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread