MIl being selfish?

[blodwen8]

DP and I live with his parents which we spent Christmas with last year, my parents live a couple of hours away so we've come to spend Christmas with them this year.

MIL spent all morning yesterday giving us the silent treatment before we left, today we've video called to say merry Christmas and she barely spoke to us or thanked us for the Christmas presents, she's made DP feel so guilty we are travelling the two hours back tonight just to keep her happy.

She has a talent for manipulating & controlling DP so I know this is what she's doing, AIBU to think she's being selfish? I hardly see my parents as it is and they're very understanding about us leaving on Christmas Day after the trouble of doing Christmas dinner.

You are crazy for giving in to her.

I wouldn't be leaving early. Getting your own way by sulking? My 4 year old doesn't get away with that, fucked if a grown woman is.

Tell your dp to grow up! How rude to leave just because his mum is sulking!

Name change! I know but it's all he's thinking about now, he won't listen to me when I say it's manipulation, usually she has to keep in touch when he's away, overly so but she's not contacted since leaving!

I wouldn't go back and if he wants to go let him.
Why are your parents less important?
If you give in to this you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of this shit.

We give in to her far too much as it is, I should've stood my ground a lot sooner to be honest!

I can't believe you're going back tonight! Do you feel under pressure to do so because you live with her?

Fuck that. I’d refuse to leave. If he insists he can come and get you when you’re ready

I feel under pressure because DP is upset that he's not even had a text from her today & is wondering why, usually she has to know what we're doing/where we are etc.

His Dad has been lovely but she likes to play the victim. I'm convinced it's a co dependant parent/child relationship.

Basically she's succeeded in making us feel guilty and on Christmas Day!

Don't give in just because she's thrown a toddler tantrum

I wouldn’t go back. Your DH can if he wants but why should you cut short your Christmas with your parents because he can’t man up and tell his mother no? Stay put OP.

If you are living with her rent free, then I suppose you need to dance to her tune to some extent.

Don’t go, you live with his parents- why should you leave early on the rare day you see your parents?

Stop feeding Manipulation.. it'll never stop

You have given her exactly what sje wants...control over 2 grown adults

Tell her you are spending xmas with YOUR parents end of. Your parents are all prepped and happy for you to spend xmas with THEM dont you dare leave early cos some grown woman is sulking. ffs!
If you and your patents arent important enough to your dh tell him to go his bloody self you will go home when you are good and ready.

You stay where you are. If he wants to leave, he can, but why should you?

She's a silly both her - DONT GO!!!

*bitch !

We don't live rent free, however we are living there while our mortgage application is being processed, so saving for legal fees etc.

I just feel that if we do turn up to 'surprise' her and she still has a face on her I'll loose my temper and it'll cause awkwardness.

Bollocks to her. Stay put.

You should have sent hi back to mummy permanently.

Your poor parents.

Stop giving in to her ffs!!

YABU.... to leave YOUR dear parents when they don't get to see you much.
Stop giving in to manipulation by MIL.

I'd text to say weather and traffic really bad so coming back tomorrow. Full. stop.

I wouldn't go back and if he wants to go let him.
Why are your parents less important?

Totally this ^ *Fishface has summed it up perfectly.

Plus - you wouldn't give in to w 2 y o if the had a tantrum - why give in to this manipulative cowbag an adult?

If your DH wants to tell her to sod off, that would be wonderful - if he would tell her the car has broken down/traffic is horrendous/some other unproveable but obviously false excuse, that would be acceptable. Otherwise, you stay (with the DCs if you have them) - overnight if they are able to accommodate you.

Do not give in to this - it is unfair on your parents - how must it make them feel.

Personally I would give your MIL a poisoned mince pie onBoxing Day-

Be firm!