MIl being selfish?

[blodwen8]

DP and I live with his parents which we spent Christmas with last year, my parents live a couple of hours away so we've come to spend Christmas with them this year.

MIL spent all morning yesterday giving us the silent treatment before we left, today we've video called to say merry Christmas and she barely spoke to us or thanked us for the Christmas presents, she's made DP feel so guilty we are travelling the two hours back tonight just to keep her happy.

She has a talent for manipulating & controlling DP so I know this is what she's doing, AIBU to think she's being selfish? I hardly see my parents as it is and they're very understanding about us leaving on Christmas Day after the trouble of doing Christmas dinner.

Send your partner there if he's so worried. I wouldn't be going though.
This kind of crap will set a pattern and you'll be expected there every year, and each time you give in will make it harder to say no next time.
Read the threads about people who want Christmas in their own home with their children but can't because their parent / in laws expect them and they are unable to say no.
Stay where you are OP

she's made DP feel so guilty we are travelling the two hours back tonight just to keep her happy.

Fuck that. Enabling her behavior will just make sure she knows she can do this again.

For god's sake, don't pander to her! Spend the time you had originally planned with your parents. They are more important to you than she is.

If your partner wants to rush back because mummy's upset, then let him. Might be time to re-evaluate your relationship and decide if you want to have this situation every xmas.

How would your DP react if your parents pulled the same trick?

Why are you going back ? Your poor parents ,they’re being punished just because they are kind people, not fair. You’re rewarding your MIL for being a bitch.

Don't go. If he has to go let him go on his own. Your parents don't get to see you very often. I hope that I never behave like this towards DD at Christmas once she leaves home.

And why are you living with his parents?

And tell your husband to put his big girl pants on and grow a spine!

Don't op because you coming back at the end of Christmas day won't please her. She will still continue the silent treatment to punish you further. Women like your mil are nasty, controlling marriage breakers, you need to put the barriers up to protect your marriage.

And why should you ruin your parents' Christmas?

Sod that

My two year old sulks. I don't give in. Because tantrums don't work

On an adult it's just embarrassing

Shame on your DP for giving into her childish demands. Your poor parents

Hang on-you live with his parents-so she's not even alone?

Not nice of her to ask-pathetic of your OH to agree.

She's probably not even that bothered about seeing him-just wants to check that he's still under control.

Just realised that you haven't left yet-is there any way that you can stay?

You live with them and she won't let you see your parents for one day? Why are they less important?

DON'T GO!

Don't go back!

I think you should look on this as a learning opportunity for when you have children - you can practice how to deal with a tantrumming toddler since she is behaving just like one. I would definitely not go back there tonight. Start as you mean to go on or she will only ramp it up.

Your DP is submerged in Fear, Obligation and Guilt (FOG) and needs to put on his big boy pants and learn how to support you and how to deal with his tantrumming DM.

Hope you won't have to live there much longer.

Don’t give in to get. Stay at your parents and have fun!

How ridiculous to give in to such manipulation.

I couldn’t be with someone who couldn’t stand up for himself.

Wave him goodbye and have a sherry.

Do NOT cut your trip short for a sulky ill-mannered old bat.

Stay where you are and enjoy yourselves.

She is behaving like a 2 year-old. Put her on a mental naughty step, ignore and further pouting and petulance then wait for an apology.

She is 100% out of order.

I hardly see my parents as it is and they're very understanding about us leaving on Christmas Day after the trouble of doing Christmas dinner.

you and DP are both so worried about MILs sulking that you have forgotten to think about your lovely parents. Who are saying they understand, but you would both be massively rude if you actually left to spend this time with a sulky bat.

Your "D"P obviously cares more about his Mum than you. Can you live like that for the rest of your life?

I def would not go, in fact I'd stay longer. How dare they treat you lIke little children.

Why should your parents miss out

Stay at your mums! Your DP needs to grow a pair. She'll probably carry on sulking when you get back and ruin the rest of the day. I'd open the wine/beer/prosecco to ensure neither of you can drive back!

You definitely shouldn't go back, your poor parents! That is so manipulative on your MIL's part, throwing a toddler tantrum!

So your parents miss half their Christmas as punishment for being the lovely reasonable side of the family? Fuck that let him go on his own.

It’s not just DH who needs to grow a pair, the OP does too. If he shouldn’t be giving in to manipulation, neither should she. I’d be staying put, he can make his own way to his mothers.

He gets so defensive if I say anything against his mother too

We're living there to save money whilst in the process of buying a house, the sooner the better tbh!

I've decided I'm going to keep my mouth shut from now on, my mums encouraged us to go to keep the peace.