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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be underwhelmed with gifts

280 replies

VladimirPouting · 25/12/2017 08:11

Just that really. I’m not grabby, I just though after 12 yrs DH would’ve got better at presents by now. I’ve bought everything for DS, him, his family, my family, his work secret Santa etc. I am literally the only one to buy for.

Hat, scarf and gloves set
PJ’s that are too small
Fluffy socks (I do ask for them every year!)
Chocolate
Some Jam
A candle (that he found in the cupboard and is regifted to me again)

Please can you share your underwhelming presents and make me feel better?

OP posts:
Roversandrhodes · 26/12/2017 17:58

The candle thing is offensive but unless you specified you wanted something in particular or you spent way more on husband then I probably wouldn't complain .Its not that bad .

Hodnett32 · 26/12/2017 17:59

I got nothing year - no card or present. DH has been informed of how shit is is. In all fairness it stems from his folks - in 17 years they've only seen him twice for his birthday and EVERY single Christmas 'we' get a bottle of whiskey from them (bearing in mind I don;'t drink whiskey we know who it's really for) . I have to keep reminding my self that a)men are rubbish at this sort of stuff on the whole and b) the 22 years pre me this is what he think's is normal

wilton · 26/12/2017 18:01

I got a bottle of baileys that's 2 1/2 years out of date. If you are going to regift or recycle check the best before date.

Rubychestnut19 · 26/12/2017 18:02

YANBU! Totally understandable for you to be unimpressed. I do all the shopping (food and all presents) all the cleaning & organisation. I cook the whole Christmas meal, clean the house & bedding etc for relatives. Then the inevitable tidy up afterwards. I actually end up buying my own present for the kids to give me. The whole process seems designed to totally piss me off & leave me feeling exhausted. It’s like a conspiracy to make us all crack up.

GinPink · 26/12/2017 18:04

My husband has bought me some terrible gifts in the past. The worst was for my 30th, he gave me a T shirt with a picture of my own face printed on it. To rub salt into the wound the T shirt was too small. I won’t lie, I was a bit miffed! BUT he is a wonderful husband and father and I wouldn’t change him for the world. Before we had children we had money to spare and bought me lovely jewellery and gifts. If I want something I just buy it for myself now. I still but him gifts if I can afford to at the time, as I enjoy it but know in my mind not to expect much back.

I never wore the T shirt and it got ‘lost’ when we moved house!

Gugglebum · 26/12/2017 18:11

I got a tablet. And a completely empty stocking. Well I got a card with a printed photo of a tablet that said he had hoped to get it here in time for Christmas but sadly couldn’t. What I have surmised since: he saw me putting things into his stocking Christmas Eve and thought, oh crap. Knowing he’d got absolutely nothing for me. Then quickly orders the tablet on Christmas Eve. Bank actually called on Christmas Day to confirm the charge so I know that’s when he did it. We had agreed only gifts for the kids as in many other years, 98% of which I plan, search out best deal, buy and wrap. But we always always do stockings for each other. “I hoped to have it here in time for Christmas...” Yeah. Bit hard to manage when you order late on Christmas Eve. Hmm

Gugglebum · 26/12/2017 18:16

Oh and also I did all the food/cooking. He laid on the couch most (asleep for 4 straight hours) of the day. Didn’t want to start a fight in front of the kids on Christmas Day though, so I didn’t throw any tree ornaments at his face.

ThatWhiteElephant · 26/12/2017 18:19

I didn’t get anything from my dh.

WoofWoofMooWoof · 26/12/2017 18:22

Just be glad you actually have someone to give you gifts, no matter how crap. I literally have nobody and I got nothing except £15 on behalf of the DC from the grandparents.

Be thankful you actually have someone who gives a shit about you, no matter how shit the gifts.

Tillybilly1 · 26/12/2017 18:26

Some things which I put in the trolley at the supermarket. Bubble bath which I bought for his gran.

spookshowbaby · 26/12/2017 18:33

I got a hairbrush.

JantyK · 26/12/2017 18:35

I’m feeling sad because my eldest daughter has just left my house after 5 hours. She spent two nights with her father and made it clear she had a great time. She didn’t bring so much as a bar of soap as a gift yet I’ve just paid a big chunk towards her wedding, while her father isn’t offering to pay anything. She has also organised to visit my mum with her sister but has made it clear I’m not welcome. I know it’s not about gifts but some feeling of being appreciated would be nice. Their father has done so little yet they seem to idolise him. He has also drip fed them false info about our marriage while I have always kept quiet about why I left him, for the sake of my daughters feelings. They’re adults now and I thought they’d see through it all by now but I feel I’m being punished for something I’ve not done. AIBU to feel so sad about this?

arghhelpme · 26/12/2017 18:42

Dp only had me to buy for as I had sorted everyone else's gifts out. He went to Tesco Xmas eve and grabbed a DVD completely different to the one I asked for. A vegetarian cookbook, I'm not vegetarian and there's nothing I could cook from in there for the whole family and a smoothie maker as apparently I always make smoothies and the blender I use is quite bulky.

I never make smoothies and yes I do use my big blender as I make soups to last me a few days at a time so it's just the right size as with the thing he got me I could only whizz a tiny bit up at a time.

He was really impressed with what I had got him though.

Cantthinkofabloodyusername · 26/12/2017 18:42

I got a mandolin slicer! I just asked my dh for the receipt so I can take it back!

marymoosmum · 26/12/2017 18:44

Don't know about presents, have to admit I am happy with pretty much anything. I am rather upset that my husband hasn't gotten me a card from him or the kids. I had to get 6 in total for just us, as I had to get husband, daddy, son, brother, daughter and sister. That is before you include the cards for my family and his for his family. He only had to get 2 cards for me, on saying wife and one saying mummy and I got neither. Sad

sunshine11 · 26/12/2017 18:45

I have the best gift buyer hubby in the world - my problem is he is too generous and puts my buying (and lack of ideas) to shame.

This year's haul included leopard print fleece PJs, cookery lessons with a French chef, some sabatier knives and 5 boxes of mint matchmakers (yum!).

nannytanny · 26/12/2017 18:47

We seldom buy one another anything,but this year DH bought me a multi pack of Heinz spaghetti...😂
Because I keep forgetting to get it with the groceries!
It's the thought that counts.😂

NotTheFordType · 26/12/2017 18:49

@lovemylover
Does his family include his "ex" wife by any chance?
Very hurtful regardless.

OP - I strongly suggest that you go "no xmas presents, let's concentrate on the DC" in future. I have been in this stressful position with my mother. After the 4th year running of her demanding my Xmas list and then saying she didn't want to buy any of it (not due to cost) because reasons, and then giving me something she would have wanted me to buy for her, I gave up and said cards only.

Funnily enough most of my LTRs have been very good at buying me presents for both Xmas and birthday. Even if they've been shit in other ways!

This was my 2nd Xmas since meeting my FWB and we exchanged lovely gifts (last year and this) that had really had thought and effort put into them.

My DS also upped his game and got me, for the first time, something he had seen of his own accord and thought "mum will like this!" Nothing I had hinted at or even knew existed. He gets a lot of anxiety around expectations and perceived disappointment, so I'm very proud of him for using his initiative to buy me something else as well as the "safe choice" I had suggested to him.

sunshine11 · 26/12/2017 18:49

That is sad Jantyk. Why are you still paying towards her wedding?!

Nomorechickens · 26/12/2017 18:55

Janty FFS don't pay for her wedding

NewLove · 26/12/2017 18:57

I got lavender bath salts. I don't have a bath and I am allergic to lavender :(

MissConductUS · 26/12/2017 19:02

spookshowbaby, if all I got for Christmas from the man in my life was a hairbrush I'd probably try it out on his backside. Xmas Grin

Twinmama32 · 26/12/2017 19:03

I feel for you, I have been in similar situations myself, and my birthday is 28 Dec so often it can be pretty depressing. I changed my outlook though and now I expect nothing, we've agreed not to buy gifts for each other, and I buy myself something lovely that I really want at some point in the year. It simplified it for me and tbh I'm
Not with him for the gifts he could buy me but because I love him, and he's kind and generous in many other ways. so I just accept that and treat myself! (It took at long time to get to that mental place though, especially since friends and family always look horrified that we don't bother, used to make feel embarrassed, but now I dont care.)

WoofWoofMooWoof · 26/12/2017 19:06

I got lavender bath salts. I don't have a bath and I am allergic to lavender

Oh dear New - that's not good Sad. Sounds like something that's been sitting on a bathroom shelf for years and quickly wrapped for you.

Glitterspy · 26/12/2017 19:09

Books from the charity shop that I was into about 10 years ago, and a candle I'd buy for the house.

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